Manage Your Life

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Demons From The Past

Is it wrong to want to forget your past, if nothing else just to be accepted.
Its something ive herd a few times now, i open up to someone and then there first responce is "why do i keep finding all the broken chicks"
owie...yeah. I mean i know that what happened to me is hard to deal with for other people but im so sick of being judged for it.
Its not that i didnt already think of myself as broken, i don't need more people to tell me that. The same way i dont need tons of people saying im weak or unintelligent. Im very freaking aware of my shortcomings but I don't need you to rub it the f--- in.
Seriously, in the past week i was refered to as stupid nearly 7 times, weak 10 times, and broken 3 times. I dont need this crap, especially when most of the times those things were waid they were from close friends that ive known for years.
So if i want to hear that im stupid ill ask for your flippin opninion but until that day comes, people learn to keep your mouths shut!
I think starting over in a new city will be a damn good way to have a new name for myself. Cant do much about the stupid part except maybe talk less so that they dont notice, but as for appearing weak and broken, ill erase my past. Say i was in an accident and lost my memories or some s---, if anyone has any good material i can use it would be appreciated. Im not sure what kind of accidents would take your memory and not kill you, maybe a car accident or something...
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Comments 1-7 of 7
  • Emma Mae's Avatar
    Posted by Emma Mae Mon Nov 9, 2009 6:24am PST

    Kira, your past is exactly that. Your Past. People will forget it, if you dont mention it. I have a question. WHO called you weak, stupid or broken? Because who ever it is does NOT have your best interests at heart. And if they do, they sure have a sorry way of showing it.

    Now I read back a few of your posts. This is how you come across to me. Introspective, you look at yourself and your flaws first. Now honey, stupid people DONT do that. You strive to improve yourself by gaining knowledge. Knowledge is power sweetheart, so that means you are not WEAK. Broken, well baby girl, we all are to some extent.

    So next time someone decides to call you a name, and you CHOOSE to buy into their TOTAL BS, please hunt me down. I will remind you how truly wonderful you are.

    Hugs to you and NO MORE Letting people pull you down. You hear me!

    Emma Mae

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  • SILENT KNIGHT's Avatar
    Posted by SILENT KNIGHT Mon Nov 9, 2009 6:36am PST

    Know your strengths and realize your weaknesses to make adjustments, but never run when you can't hide. Own up and face your demons because they'll never let you find peace anywhere else or inside yourself. Be the best you you can be.

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  • Kira ^-^'s Avatar
    Posted by Kira ^-^ Mon Nov 9, 2009 6:40am PST

    lol thank you very much, its hard to remember that there are still people out there who actually care about totale strangers. ^-^ lol thanks this is whats gunna help me get through this. and i suppose your right. But if people ask about my past then what should i say? Should i hide it all or just let it all out?

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  • Oscar's Avatar
    Posted by Oscar Mon Nov 9, 2009 6:40am PST

    You can never forget your past because your past is something thats gonna end up making you stronger. Your not broken, stupid, or weak and dont let anyone make you believe you are. What ever troubles you go through, its going to make you a stronger person in the end,You'll make it through the tough times. Just have faith.

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  • Stronger than before but still weak as ever's Avatar
    Posted by Stronger than before but still weak as ever Mon Nov 9, 2009 7:00am PST

    Wow your post really touched me. I've felt exactly the same way. You can't run from your past but you can learn from it. No matter what it is that you have been through, the saying holds true. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Your obviously not stupid. Possibly a person who has made stupid decisions, but who hasn't? & yes we are all broken in some way. You have to learn to love yourself for in the end, you are all you have. I sincerely hope you find peace within yourself. Once you can do that, your new life will begin. As for anyone who puts you down by calling you names...they too are struggling from within. It takes a self conscious person to point out flaws in others. Good luck girl! Life is never easy;)

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  • Stronger than before but still weak as ever's Avatar
    Posted by Stronger than before but still weak as ever Mon Nov 9, 2009 7:05am PST

    >>>When it comes to revealing things sbout yourself & your past, you choose what you want people to know. There is no reason to give every little detail. Focus on the positive aspects, the ones that make you the wonderful person you are. If you find someone you trust whole heartedly & you know they will not judge you, its your choice to let them in on the things you may not be proud of. Here's another of my personal favorite sayings, those who matter dont mind, & those who mind dont matter!

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  • SILENT KNIGHT's Avatar
    Posted by SILENT KNIGHT Mon Nov 9, 2009 7:05am PST

    If you keep living in your past you'll never get to see the future. You have to move forward through and through. Private matters of a more sensitive and delicate nature should be expressed to someone who actually cares and not people who you want to care. Besides you just might need to get it all out anyway so you wont explode or implode. Find a corner to vent as if your throwing up what ever is making you sick, although things may feel worse before they get better if you genuinely want to heal and ultimately want to move on in time you will. Just don't be a victim or a cry baby about it. Tears fall so you wont have to, but on the battlefield of life wounded soildiers who B@#$! and moan get put out of thier misery faster than understood. Keep moving because if you lay down on the ground bleeding long enough something will come eat you. Life is something you have to fight for at times, but you have to want your life more than your enemies do.

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