Have you ever been completely exhausted after talking to someone?
I was talking to a colleague today and, after about 5 minutes of conversation, I felt as if the life had been sucked right out of me. She had barely said hello when she launched a tidal wave of the minutia of her life at me – the problems, the trials, the issues that others were causing her. She hardly took a breath the whole time and seemed to look right through me as she spoke. She finally finished, took a quick breath, turned on her heel and said “Well, I’ve got to go. See ya later!” (I certainly hope not. I’ll be heading the other way the next time I spot her coming.)
Conversations are about connecting and you are not connecting if you are the only one who speaks, if you never make genuine eye contact and if you never ask a question of the other person. When you don’t do these things, you are inflicting a kind of torture on the other person.
Please remember:
- Conversations should be about equally balanced between talking and listening. Don’t completely dominate a conversation; no-one will thank you.
- If you have so much to say that you don’t have time to breathe, you are saying way too much far too quickly. Take it easy on the rest of us…
- We connect much more through our eyes than we do through our words. Make good eye contact and watch your conversations improve.
- Finally, take the time to ask some questions. Questions build rapport and help us understand more about another person. Questions help us connect. Try it – you’ll see…
So, please, no ‘dump and run’ conversations. You don’t want people taking off when they see you coming…
