by Vivian Steir Rabin
My iRelaunch co-founder Carol and I recently received the following
email:
”Hi. Thanks for taking my e-mail. I'm 37, and I've been a
stay-at-home mom for 13 years. I tried working when my two oldest
children were young, but because I have no family to help when the
kids are sick (my husband works) I've been unable to keep a
job. In addition to the two older kids, we have a child who
isn't in school yet and a 5 year old with a severe disability,
Angelman
Syndrome who is sick a lot and has seizures. I've found
that no one wants to hire me even for a night position because of
my family. I assume it's also because I've been out of the
workforce for so long.
Before I was married I held a receptionist job for five years. I
was the type of worker who had to be sent home when sick. I have a
very good work ethic, but it doesn't seem to matter. And I’m
not sure who I could use for a reference since the companies I used
to work for no longer exist. We're in a horrible
financial state and I need to go to work. I would appreciate
any suggestions you have as well as suggestions for my bleak
resume.
Thank you very much, Sue
www.thegeorgefamilynews.com
With Sue’s permission, I’m posting her email and my answer to her,
in the hope that it will not only help Sue and her family, but also
other mothers facing similar challenges.
Dear Sue:
I was tremendously moved not only by your e-mail but also by the
website you’ve created. I have several thoughts for you.
1) If you put that website together, you are more technologically
up-to-speed than most stay-at-home moms who have been out for 13
years. Make sure you include something in your resume like
“created a family website” and list all software programs with
which you’re familiar.
2) If you apply for a conventional job, I don’t think you
should mention your child’s disability, particularly not on a first
interview. If you’ve arranged for childcare while you’re
working there is no reason for your employer to know this
information. After you receive an offer, if you need a
minimum level of flexibility (leaving early one day a week, etc.),
that’s the time to ask for it, giving assurances that you will give
your all to make up the time in other ways. However, if you
need a lot of flexibility, I don’t think you should apply for a
regular fulltime job; rather I think you should try to make your
special family situation work for you by doing one or more of the
following:
3) If the Angelman Foundation, the nonprofit that promotes
awareness of your child’s disability, has a list of members,
reach out to all the members in your geographical area, tell them
about the kind of work you’d like to do and ask them to refer you
to anyone they think might have an opportunity for you. Also
reach out to the Board of Directors of the foundation with the same
question.
4) Ask the Angelman Foundation if you could organize all
their fundraising and awareness building activities in your part of
the country and whether they could pay you for that. If you
decide to do this, make sure you reach out to them as a
professional, not just as a member of their organization.
5) Have you considered getting involved in other nonprofit groups,
especially groups that advocate for children with special
needs? Perhaps you could work for such an organization.
6) Explore whether there might be any work opportunities at your
daughter’s school, maybe in an administrative capacity.
7) Tell all your family, friends and neighbors that you’re looking
for office work. They know about your work ethic so they will
be comfortable recommending you to people. A personal
endorsement means a lot.
8) Create a profile on LinkedIn and try to locate your past
colleagues through that or other social networking sites. You
might also try to connect with parents of children with
disabilities similar to your child’s through LinkedIn or, more
likely, through other more specialized websites or Yahoo!
groups. Creating such a network will not only increase your
chances of finding a suitable job but will also give you additional
emotional support.
I hope this is helpful, and I wish you all the best.
Photo Credit: www.thegeorgefamilynews.com
Vivian Steir Rabin Carol Fishman Cohen
Carol Fishman Cohen and Vivian Steir Rabin are the co-founders of iRelaunch “The Career Reentry Experts ®,” a company producing career reentry programming, events, and content for employers, universities, organizations and individuals, and the co-authors of the acclaimed career reentry strategy book Back on the Career Track: A Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms Who Want to Return to Work.
iRelaunch’s signature products include the Career Relaunch ® Forum, a one day return to work conference offered around the country, Relaunch Circles™ , a four session, coach led, networking/learning/coaching/support program, with a curriculum based on Back on the Career Track, and Back on the Career Track ® Webinars.
Carol and Vivian can be reached at info@iRelaunch.com.
Follow iRelaunch on Twitter! www.twitter.com/iRelaunch
