I don't know what happened today

When I stop to think about it, I’m not really sure about yesterday or tomorrow either.  Few things in life are certain.  The only two things seem permanent are change and death.  (You might ask, what about taxes?  Well, I’ve heard about people that seem to find a way to get out of paying)  I try to stay positive and say that all things are achievable with hard work and determination but I’m starting to question my belief on that subject.  People make and maybe even achieve some lofty goals from time to time.  But my goals seem less and less attainable. 

On the surface my goals appear simple, have a wonderful family, a job I enjoy that provides adequate income and living in a peaceful, small town.  Seems simple enough, right?  I could leave it at that but I’d like to complain a little now.  Why are all the jobs in small towns gone?  I mean all the jobs.  Sure you have the jobs at the local school and maybe some other small town related work but nothing up my alley.  I don’t want to teach and I sure as hell don’t want to open my own business.  What do I want to do?  That’s a good question.  I can’t tell you what I want to do but I can tell you what I don’t want to do.  Life is hard but it’s even harder when you don’t know what you want or how to get it.  Because knowing what you don’t want means that you have to rely on some form of elimination.  But this process of figuring out life by eliminating all the things you don’t want is a lot like trying to put out a wild fire with a garden hose. I just want to be inspired.  I want to find work that I enjoy and work that I am good at.  And when I say work I enjoy..I mean work I thoroughly enjoy.  I like some aspects of my current job but not enough to make a career out of it.  And my current job sure doesn’t pay much.  But what’s a guy with a university studies degree to do? 

Yes, I am glad I have a bachelor’s degree but I it’s hard because my degree is so “General”.  But that’s me, I’m general.  I like thoughts and ideas but I don’t like to worry about the specifics.  I sell insurance and I love talking to people about insurance but I can’t go to in depth.  I find insurance boring and complicated.  With all the new coverages and policies I get lost.  Situation A is covered but only if it follows situation B rather than C. 

I like people.  I believe that you can learn something from anyone.  I enjoy hearing about people’s lives and thoughts on life but I don’t want to be a counselor.  I like to write and share my thoughts but being a writer is tough when you don’t know how to spell and you’re still not sure what a pronoun is.  My lack of writing skills is very evident in this post.  

Where do I go from here?  Do I go out and explore life..risking the chance that I get lost in the shuffle and just end up more lost.  Do I suck it up and keep going through the grind of everyday life?  Is there some kind of middle ground where I can explore different life options but still stay connected to reality?  Life’s full of choices I suppose.