Learning to forgive

Since I have been in my own place, I have found what real friends and what aquaintances are.  I thought some people were genuinely friends.  I still think they are good people, but I don't think they were friends.  Unfortunately, they choose to be homeless.  (They are adults and both could change the situation they are in, but they don't want the resposibilty it takes to hold a steady job).  About last Mon or Tues, they come by for a visit.  (To be honest I think it was the weekend before) I don't mind them staying a couple of nights.  This time it became about 15.  I tried to explain to them I can't let them live with me.  Yet, they would not leave, sometimes they would leave for about half a day but were back and would stay overnight.  (I have my brother living with me and he was helping this situation, by letting them in when I went to bed.)  I was so upset, I totally lost my temper and yelled at everyone.  I have been unemployed for almost a month, didn't have rent, and here are people not even thinking of just picking up behind themselves while in my home.  I feel terrible now about being such a b**** , but at the time I felt like I was forced into it.

Now the forgiveness, they acted like I was just so out of line to vent the way I did.  Like this place had been theirs and I just threw them out of their home.  I hope they can forgive me for being so drastic, but gosh dang, I had a new job and needed just some quiet time at night for rest.  I do forgive them for trying to take over my home without even asking.  If they come over again, I will let them in, let them bathe, and feed them; but I will not let them into the front door until they acknowledge that they must leave when I ask them too. 

I don't want to be selfish with my good fortune, but I do want respect.  Now when I look back, that is what I felt I was upset over.  How disrespectful they were to my efforts to support myself and felt that I owed them support and provisions. 

Well, all for now, and one other thing about this event, I did a little self evalutation, and saw some disrespect that I had shown the Signor.  I immediately went over and apologized from the bottom of my heart.  I think in doing that he saw the person he had loved.  I felt a little bit of him soften to me.