Morals Over Friends

Over the past year I've slowly removed myself from the relationships with certain friends that were one-sided and were causing harm to my sanity. I carefully ended the friendship with one of my best friends due to her faulty grasp on reality. We didn't "get" each other anymore and I vowed to never put myself through another best friendship with someone as fake and pretend as her. Unfortunately, I'm in high school and it seems like everyone is fake and pretend..and they're all friends with her. I'd like to say this decision cleaned up my life and helped me live with myself better but sometimes I wonder if I would be happier just pretending along with the rest of them. These are the kids who have access to alcohol and who throw the best parties. These are the kids who always hang out in huge groups and appear to have tons of fun to the rest of the world. I've been inside that group before and I know the pictures they take of their tremendous fun tend to mislead the outside world. Maybe for a second they'll lift their cans in the air and laugh their hardest but the next second they're sitting on a couch watching TV just like the rest of us. So although I am fully aware of what I'm missing out on I still desire to have that security. I still wish I was invited.. Instead I'm home alone waiting for my few amazing and real friends to be out of work or to decide whether or not they're going to hang out with their ex boyfriends. I love them dearly but I miss the constant supply of "just for fun" friends. I guess along with morals comes the absence of fun.