Manage Your Life

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Ms., Miss, or Mrs.: What do women want to be called?

I am a Ms. I was a Ms. when I was married, and I am a Ms. now that I am single. I was a Ms. when I taught classes and, today, I am a Ms. to my son's teachers. For as long as I can remember, I have been most comfortable passing over the boxes for Mrs. and Miss to confidently check Ms. And, long before that, I was an empowered kindergartner who insisted on wearing a tiny-sized pink Ms. magazine T-shirt to school. My identity, experiences, and life have all changed, but the title I choose has not.

There are a few reasons for this. First, I happily tote the feminist implications of this title. Second, I don't think it is necessary for the world to label my name according to my marital status. And, finally, Miss sounds young to me and Mrs. just reminds me of my grandmother.

But that's just me. I like that there are options and I don't judge women who choose a different precursor for their own names than I choose for mine. I do think that what we choose says something about how we see ourselves and how we want others to perceive us upon introduction. In my son's classroom, each of the three teachers goes by a different title, and I find that a fascinating little statement about who they are individually.

When I read today that new research shows that the word "Ms." dates back to 1901 (it was previously dated back to 1949) in an effort to fill a "void in the English language," it made me wonder how many women claim this title that was created to give women options, freedom, and individuation. How many women feel comfortable with the connotations that are (feminist!) and aren't (married?) imbued in this one little word?

Ms., Miss, or Mrs.? Which box do you check?


[via Jezebel]
Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 187
  • mommaofsun's Avatar
    Posted by mommaofsun Wed Jun 24, 2009 12:18pm PDT

    I prefer Mrs. since I am married. Before I was married, I preferred Ms.

    Report Abuse
  • Linz's Avatar
    Posted by Linz Wed Jun 24, 2009 12:21pm PDT

    Jessica Ashley...Check your spelling and grammar... please!

    Report Abuse
  • Katie B's Avatar
    Posted by Katie B Wed Jun 24, 2009 12:21pm PDT

    Honestly, I never really thought about it... and since around here (where I live) everyone just says ma'am or Miss... So to me I don't really care.. however, it were for a document I would check Mrs... because that is what I am... To me it's just a title... it doesn't define who I am or what I do...

    Report Abuse
  • Ahleah G's Avatar
    Posted by Ahleah G Wed Jun 24, 2009 12:25pm PDT

    I prefer Ms. because I think I am a bit too old to go by Miss. My boyfriend's daughter does call me Miss Ahleah though, which doesn't bother me and is how she was taught to be respectful. If I were married I would switch to Mrs. though.

    Report Abuse
  • jmpmaher's Avatar
    Posted by jmpmaher Wed Jun 24, 2009 12:26pm PDT

    I'm with you. I'm a Ms. And I never changed my name when I got married. That's my name, why should I change it?

    Report Abuse
  • opiniononly's Avatar
    Posted by opiniononly Wed Jun 24, 2009 12:47pm PDT

    Call me by my first name, but living in the South, I'm addressed as Miss or Ms 'first name'. Salutations didn't matter when I was married and since I divorced, if I'm called Mrs now, I often don't correct the person unless my marital status is important to our conversation.

    Report Abuse
  • Susan's Avatar
    Posted by Susan Wed Jun 24, 2009 12:52pm PDT

    I prefer Ms. for the same reasons you mentioned.

    Report Abuse
  • yaya's Avatar
    Posted by yaya Wed Jun 24, 2009 12:55pm PDT

    I am a Miss, once (and if) I get married then I will be a Mrs.

    Report Abuse
  • kaliluna's Avatar
    Posted by kaliluna Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:04pm PDT

    I hadn't given this a whole lot of thought until I read this article. Before I was married, I was always a Miss. Then I got married and I guess turned into a Mrs. But pretty much every area of my life is informal enough that I never actually use my name as Mrs. So-and-so. I just use my full name. Thinking about it though I think I would prefer Ms. So-and-so, not sure why but I just like it better.

    Report Abuse
  • Esley's Avatar
    Posted by Esley Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:21pm PDT

    I don't really like titles at all but if I have to choose I guess it would be Ms. though I don't give a hoot about it's feminist implications. I feel that I am too old to be a Miss and I am not married so am not a Mrs.

    Report Abuse
Comments 1-10 of 187

leave your comment

You must sign in to post a comment

Sign In for personalized information

New User? Sign Up

manage your life byte

from Target

All kinds of wonderful. Gifts, solutions and savings all in one place. Find every merry solution at Target.