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Monday, December 14, 2009

Ms., Miss, or Mrs.: What do women want to be called?

I am a Ms. I was a Ms. when I was married, and I am a Ms. now that I am single. I was a Ms. when I taught classes and, today, I am a Ms. to my son's teachers. For as long as I can remember, I have been most comfortable passing over the boxes for Mrs. and Miss to confidently check Ms. And, long before that, I was an empowered kindergartner who insisted on wearing a tiny-sized pink Ms. magazine T-shirt to school. My identity, experiences, and life have all changed, but the title I choose has not.

There are a few reasons for this. First, I happily tote the feminist implications of this title. Second, I don't think it is necessary for the world to label my name according to my marital status. And, finally, Miss sounds young to me and Mrs. just reminds me of my grandmother.

But that's just me. I like that there are options and I don't judge women who choose a different precursor for their own names than I choose for mine. I do think that what we choose says something about how we see ourselves and how we want others to perceive us upon introduction. In my son's classroom, each of the three teachers goes by a different title, and I find that a fascinating little statement about who they are individually.

When I read today that new research shows that the word "Ms." dates back to 1901 (it was previously dated back to 1949) in an effort to fill a "void in the English language," it made me wonder how many women claim this title that was created to give women options, freedom, and individuation. How many women feel comfortable with the connotations that are (feminist!) and aren't (married?) imbued in this one little word?

Ms., Miss, or Mrs.? Which box do you check?


[via Jezebel]
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From the Community…

Comments 11-20 of 194
  • michelaay's Avatar
    Posted by michelaay Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:24pm PDT

    I am Ms. Anthony thank you very much. When I was married it was Mrs. I prefer Ms.

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  • Dawnn V's Avatar
    Posted by Dawnn V Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:26pm PDT

    I am 48 years old and now divorced. I preferred to be called Ms.

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  • springtime's Avatar
    Posted by springtime Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:37pm PDT

    It doesn't matter to me. I have a title, so that is used most frequently. But , really, I'll answer to any of those. I understand a senator got upset when a general called her " ma'am". She quickly reminded him that she was " Senator". I think that is taking it too far, a senator correcting a general. I don't think most people really care.

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  • Crystal's Avatar
    Posted by Crystal Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:46pm PDT

    Just as the author stated, Mrs. sounds rather old and Miss sounds too young. I have always preferred Ms., eventhough I am and have been married for 4.5 years. However, if someone calls me Miss or Mrs I don't correct them. Why bother?

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  • Kendra's Avatar
    Posted by Kendra Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:48pm PDT

    I cringe when the bagger boy at the grocery store calls me "ma'am"! I'm only in my 30's, I'm not an old lady!! I'd rather he not say anything!

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  • kittiemack's Avatar
    Posted by kittiemack Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:50pm PDT

    I've been a Ms. for as long as I can remember. I even hyphenated my name for most of my 7-year marriage. I don't believe in titles either and don't feel that a woman is an appendage of her husband. She is an individual and, therefore, should retain her own last name. But to each his own.

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  • rglo820's Avatar
    Posted by rglo820 Wed Jun 24, 2009 1:51pm PDT

    Ms., always. Not to be a feminazi, but I find it at best inconsiderate and at worst offensive when Miss or Mrs. are presumptuously used. A man's salutation doesn't changed based on marital status, so why should a woman's?

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  • Barbie's Avatar
    Posted by Barbie Wed Jun 24, 2009 2:40pm PDT

    I'm a Ms. because I'm going through a divorce.

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  • bboyschica's Avatar
    Posted by bboyschica Wed Jun 24, 2009 3:04pm PDT

    I prefer to use Ms. I'm a young teacher so everyone assumed I was still unmarried; which I am.

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  • Dabbler's Avatar
    Posted by Dabbler Wed Jun 24, 2009 3:57pm PDT

    All you ladies, come on, you really care what you are called? as long as we call you the right name in bed!!!!!

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Comments 11-20 of 194

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