Manage Your Life

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Sexual harassment in school -- what's the long-term impact on education and career?

Getty Images

Getty Images

There have been a string of incidents at my daughter’s high school in which a male teacher has been making inappropriate comments to and about a fifteen year-old student. The man is the girl’s P.E. teacher, track coach and homeroom teacher and he called the girl “cleavage queen” in class. In a separate conversation he told her that she would “probably like it if 35 year-old men made comments about her picture” on the Internet. In yet another incident the same teacher was starting false rumors and spreading gossip about the girl to other students, claiming she would be “a better runner if she quit smoking” and that she “probably smokes pot.”

Just for the record, I know this girl and she shops at Abercrombie and Fitch, not Frederick’s of Hollywood. She definitely would not like 35 year-old men to comment about her picture or ogle her in any other fashion. She does not smoke anything. And even if she wore underwear to school and chain smoked in the cafeteria, no teacher is ever justified in speaking to or about students in this manner.

It made me think of my own high school experience back in the eighties and you know what? That kind of behavior happened all the time. I can only remember six of my high school teachers; one because he was a wonderful teacher. Another because he was a terrible teacher. The other four I remember because they all made sexually inappropriate comments. One told me he would give me an A if I wore a mini skirt to school and went on the cat walk that went through the room. Another teacher put his arm around me on the first day of class and told me that I didn’t have to do the work to get a good grade. And while talking to a friend one day, I said I was so bored I was going to jump out the window. A teacher passing by told me to not jump until he got downstairs. So I could land on his face. How gross/mortifying/nasty is that? All this occurred in what was the best Chicago public high school at the time. But it was a school that had been boys-only until just a decade prior and an astounding number of male teachers perpetually harassed the new female population.

Then in college I was befriended by a college professor. He gave me a collection of works by Flannery O’Connor and told me I had the talent to be a great writer. I was young and naiive, so I was flattered. Then he began to send me poetry. Then he taped candy canes all over my car. Then he called my house 15 times a day for months on end until I finally moved and changed my number.

When it comes to sexual harassment in an academic environment, I know I am infuriatingly far from alone. In light of current events, I have been talking about this issue with several adult women and their stories are nothing short of horrifying. I have been told about affairs between teachers and students – in high school. Stories about groping and offers of grades in exchange for sexual favors.

Every girl being harassed is being told that her looks and sex are more important than her intelligence, skills or effort. She is placed in a position of feeling that she must choose between her grades or permitting verbal and/or physical violations to continue. Shame, humiliation, helplessness and anger are obvious outcomes of those on the receiving end of this kind of treatment. But what is less tangible is the long-term impact sexual harassment has on academic and business careers.

The girl at my daughter’s school had to switch P.E. and homeroom classes four weeks before the end of the school year. She quit track. She went from an A in class participation to an F. And these are only the quantifiable outcomes. How can this child trust or respect her teachers now?

Personally, I became a frequent truant of the classes in which my teachers were inappropriate. My grade point average suffered, impacting my college options. After the stalking incident by my college professor “friend,” I quit writing for years.

I find it stunning that in this day and age sexual harassment in secondary and higher education is still happening. Not because I think people capable of this behavior are fundamentally different than they were twenty years ago, but with the legal and financial consequences as severe as they are today, one would think those doing the harassing would be more strongly deterred. Unfortunately, it seems that the drive to abuse power and authority at the cost of young girls’ sense of self, safety, and academic potential, is simply not worth trying to resist.

How common is sexual harassment in high school these days? Do you think this case is a rare exception? Was sexual harassment in your high school or college as prevalent as it was in mine?

Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 11-14 of 14
  • TaShana's Avatar
    Posted by TaShana Tue Jun 17, 2008 7:43pm PDT

    I may be going against the grain here, but...

    I'm also a teacher. I'm a high school science teacher and I'm not a fan of blaming the victim, but a female student doesn't get the name "cleavage queen" unless she wears clothing that reveals cleavage. Seeing how she's only 15 that is COMPLETELY inappropriate for her.

    I never encountered sexual harassment as a teenager and neither did any of my friends, but our parents also didn't let us out of the house wearing whatever. No shirts showing belly, no tight clothing, no low necklines. When you don't dress in a sexually revealing way you don't get all that many sexual advances or comments.

    Being a teacher I have seen extremely tight, short, and revealing clothing on students. Female students show up to school like they're a 23 yr old heading to the club on a saturday night!!! Not a 15/16 year old heading to social studies class!!!!

    Come on!!!!

    And just because she shops at "Abercrombie and Fitch" *rolleyes* doesn't mean that she isn't revealing more than she should.

    I'm not saying that the teacher isn't a creep, I don't know him. But I have noticed a shift in what people think is okay for little girls to wear.

    And why is a 15yr old smoking???? Just because YOU don't know that she smokes, doesn't mean that she isn't a smoker. Teachers often know more about the students lives than their own parents because they are in a situation to overhear the student talking to his/her friends or actually see the student. I've caught several of my students smoking and their parents have NO idea. I've overheard my students talking about sexual acts ( ----- s, anal sex, etc etc) and their parents are active members in the church thinking their lil angel is saving it for marriage. I know of student who've had abortions and no one in their family knows.

    But....

    I do think the teacher is going about it in an unprofessional manner. If he is concerned about her dress or life choices he should call the parents and have a talk adult-to-adult about it. Not talk about it to the other students.

    Report Abuse
  • Tariq's Avatar
    Posted by Tariq Wed Oct 8, 2008 9:00pm PDT

    hello my last name is lesueuer do you know what it means and could me possibly be related. i heard it is a very rare name in u.s. also i have family that spells my name like yours. don't worry im not pschyo just curious. my email is clear_horizon80@yahoo.com

    Report Abuse
  • dwj's Avatar
    Posted by dwj Thu Oct 9, 2008 9:01pm PDT

    the gym teacher still teaches at that school? he should be fired

    at my high school, there was a male aid a few years ago. he walked into the girls loker room oneday after gym, and i think he said something to one of the girls. and he was fired after that.

    Report Abuse
  • Dawn's Avatar
    Posted by Dawn Mon Nov 17, 2008 12:43pm PST

    I Feel for each and everyone of you .But it is also hard when you are the mother of a 14 yr old girl that it is happening to right now . And didn't want to say anything because she didn't want to get the teacher in trouble or fired. How do we protect are childern from these monsters when they are the people they look up to? And the school acts like it is no big deal, when i want this mans head on a sliver plater. can someone please tell why this is still going on ?

    Report Abuse
Comments 11-14 of 14

leave your comment

You must sign in to post a comment

Sign In for personalized information

New User? Sign Up

manage your life byte

from Target

All kinds of wonderful. Gifts, solutions and savings all in one place. Find every merry solution at Target.