...Something New...

Today October 26, 2009, I have decided that I am ready to start from scratch. Today unlike any other day I have a new found strength in myself to become a better person whom I thought at one point I was being. Turns out I was acting like a major weenie who needed a wake up call and a kick in the butt. This isn't any normal blogger that tries to persuade you into any products or chat it up about major celebrities. I personally got tired of reading things about people who have it all, and would like to learn more from people who don't.

Real life isn't glamorous nor is it tailor made to fit a movie screen. Life as I know it is crazy, unpredictable, but still beautiful in some cases. But I mean hey... we all know that. So why don't we talk about it?

For me, I have been the type to hide my feelings and emotions about certain details in my own world that it wears me down and pushes me into a mode of feeling trapped in, and I cant take it anymore. My life i far beyond perfect and I will never look at myself as less than anyone. But I feel that I have made others superior to my feelings and I don't want that burden any longer. Soo... here I am, shouting to anyone who may be interested, my issues and how I try to handle "my world" of craziness. I am pretty sure I am not the only one going through some tough times, so I can imagine what anyone has to put up with.

I will start by giving you some Tid-bits on myself... here goes:

• I am a 23 year old mixed female (Mexican and Black)
• I have a major dysfunctional family (I mean MAJOR)
• I am a Dental Assistant F/T going to school P/T
• I plan on becoming a Dental Hygienist
• No kids... yet... maybe when I am 30 :)
• And I love shopping...

OK... so maybe some things you may not care too much about. But I gotta let ya in on me somewhat to understand where I come from. Yes, there is a whole lot more to me... but that's all I'm ready put out so far.

About this life stuff... My gosh it sucks!!! you really don't understand what your parents meant by, "You will know what I mean when you get older." Horrible true words. But I do understand now, and it only gets harder the older you get for some people. I was just a teeny bit on the unlucky side I guess.

Enough of the pity party... I'm still as crazy and goofy as ever and I know that I will be OK in the end. I have to be strong enough to change and deal with my issues in a better way than bottle them up and explode when things get tough. I am still quite good at getting through almost anything. But I suck at not putting me first when I really need to.

My new outlook is now about ME, how I can better my world and what comes into it. I want more from the rest of my life and I need some support getting to where I want to be. My main supporter is amazing, but he can't be two places at once and some times... when I need to vent, I realize how alone we all really are. Not that it is an issue, people go through things at the most inopportune times. And hey... we have to deal with it somehow right? And usually alone.When you wake up the next morning with puffy eyes and a new attitude... Kind of shows you the strength you really have and don't want to let go of.