Thank You For Coming Into My Life...

From the Community…

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  Posted by Alan Sat Jul 18, 2009 6:26am PDT

  You have no idea how your blog has helped me, (thank you, thank you) for inviting me in. You have a true friend in me. Alan

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  Posted by PoetWithCancer Sun Aug 30, 2009 10:00am PDT

  Dear CraftyLadyInor,

  Your recent praise of my poem "Worlds of Light" means a lot to me. You are so talented in your own medium of art. Perhaps you, like me, work also in other artistic media? I'll bet you are excellent at all that you do.

  Praise from a sister artist of your caliber is high praise indeed.

  Thank you.

  I've decided to post a different poem every day.

  You are right, I would much rather not have cancer than be writing poems about it. Maybe, as I suggested in my poem "Shine," some of these poems will survive me and to that extent carry my life forward past my death. I hope so. But, of course, I was writing poetry long before I got cancer, and some of them also have such potential.

  But I agree with Woody Allen's perspective. In an interview, he was once asked: "Do you want to achieve immortality through your works?"

  Woody replied: "No. I want to achieve immortality through not dying."

  Love,

  --PWC

  aka Mr. Poet

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  Posted by PoetWithCancer Sun Aug 30, 2009 10:03am PDT

  P.S. Your post here about people coming into our lives, and then for various reasons leaving our lives, is wise and true. I cannot comment too much more at the moment; your words here have moved me to tears. God bless you for your humane and understanding heart.

  Love,

  --PWC

  aka Mr. Poet

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  Posted by PoetWithCancer Wed Sep 9, 2009 12:13am PDT

  IN ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTIONS LEFT IN A COMMENT POSTED UNDER MY POEM "One Would Have Been Enough":

  Dear craftyladyinor,

  My cancer is not exactly inoperable. But my chances of surviving the operation, and the chances of the operation doing me any good if I survived it, are so slim that UCLA refused to do the surgery on me, and one local surgeon also refused me.

  Finally, I found a surgeon who is willing to do the surgery. But he set my chances of it doing me any good at 10%, which is lower than my chances of surviving the surgery.

  At least, that's what he said; someone else, my oncologist, told me I would have a 20% chance of benefit if I survived the surgery. But my oncologist still opposes surgery; he wants me to endure the burn of radiation, which he says gives me a 20% chance of being cured, without running much risk of that treatment modality killing me.

  Bear in mind, however, that for these doctors, if you survive five years after treatments, and then the cancer comes back and kills you, they still call that a "cure." "Cure" equals "five-year survival (or more)" in their book.

  Also, the first surgeon I saw told me that radiation is of short-term benefit for me (along with all its side effects, of cardiovascular toxicity, accelerated atherosclerosis, and the risk of secondary cancers being caused by the radiation); he said it won't be long before I will have to get the standard chemotherapy, whether I go for radiation now, or even if someone would do the surgery.

  Right now, as my main treatment modality, I am on a chemical injection treatment that is not standard chemotherapy; so, I still have my hair, for the time being. But I suffer the side effects of steadily increasing weakness, sometimes spells of sickness, declining muscle mass, declining bone density, loss of skin elasticity, decreased capacity to deal with stress, increased emotional instability, and so on.

  The surgery, if I decide for it, will have some very serious, severe, long-term, and possibly permanent bad side effects--assuming I even survive.

  I don't know what to do. The medical treatments I am undergoing now make me weak most of the time, and feeling ill a lot of the time, and also make me unable to make love. I hate it. Also, the treatments I am currently undergoing can only prolong my life, and cannot stop the cancer from killing me, sooner or later.

  I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of all the options; including the option of stopping all treatments, and just letting the cancer have me when it wants me, so that I can have some time free of side effects to enjoy, though my life will then be shorter by far. I am seriously considering that option.

  But I don't know what to do. The treatments I am taking now will not work forever; they could stop working at any time. There are other medical treatments then available, but they will have even worse side effects; and again, they are very unlikely to cure me: they can only prolong my life for an uncertain amount of time, time purchased at the cost of more pain, more weakness, more sickness, more frequently.

  I don't know what to do. I don't know what I will do.

  In the meantime, while I am seeing the poison-cut-burn crowd of standard medical treatment physicians, I am also seeing, on the side, a holistic physician, who says his regimen will cure me if I follow it. I hope for that, but I'm skeptical. But not as skeptical as my oncologist, who knows about it, too, and considers the holistic physician a fraud.

  Thanks for your concern. Please read all of my poems, evaluate them honestly, and leave your comments.

  I write my poetry to reach people; but I cannot know who, or how many, or in what way or ways, I have reached anyone, without the comments.

  Bye now.

  --PWC

  aka Mr. Poet

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