Getty Images
Well, The Laws of Working Moms incorporate a little bit of each -- and then some. To wit:
1.) If you have an early meeting, or if the children need to be at school early for a field trip or other event, someone will be up at least twice during the night -- which means you will be, too.
2.) The toddler will sneeze mightily in your face the day before he comes down with a ferocious cold.
3.) Your kids' school or daycare will shut down due to Swine Flu the week after your kids have been out sick with a cold. (Corollary: Your kids will not have the H1N1/Swine Flu virus.)
4.) You will spill coffee (hot or cold, doesn't matter) on yourself if, and only if, you wear a freshly pressed white blouse to the office.
5.) If you are the working mom of an infant, you will discover a cascade of dried spit-up on the back of your jacket, but only after you've worn it for at least two hours (or to at least one meeting).
6.) Any electronic device that's absolutely necessary to your sanity will be a.) missing or b.) out of batteries when you most need it.
7.) If you carry a purse, you will always have some sort of kid-type food in it, which you will discover when you are looking for something, like your ID. What you will not have in it is whatever you were actually looking for, like your ID.
8.) You will slave over an amazing meal that the kids won't touch, and you will throw together a last-minute "gotta get them fed" meal that they devour.
9.) Your kid will have severe Mama Drama on the mornings when you most need to be at work by a certain time. (Corrollary: You will be late on those days.)
10.) You will go to work more than once with a sticky, kid-applied kiss on your cheek -- and you deliberately won't wash it off.
Lylah M. Alphonse writes about juggling career and parenthood at The 36-Hour Day and Work It, Mom!, is the Child Caring columnist for Boston.com/Moms, and blogs at Write. Edit. Repeat.
