It's hard to know when it really happens. When your job or
career becomes more than just a place you go to from 9 to 5. When
it becomes the heart and soul of who you are; a part of your
core.
It starts out innocently enough. You start a new job, get to know
your co-workers and learn your day to day tasks. Suddenly, you
realize that it's part of your conversation at parties and over
coffee with friends. Your identity has bonded with that
person you are from 9 to 5 and there is no clear separation from
the two.
I had that job. It brought me joy and gave me a sense of a self
that I had not even dared dream of.
It started with a painful divorce after almost 30 years of marriage
to a good guy that liked his booze a bit more than me. I was
turning 50. Yes, I said it! (Midlife crisis you think?} I'm not
completely certain what compelled me to want more in my life but I
moved with a force that came from somewhere deep inside and with a
voice that was calling to me for a change, for something more. My
life was pretty easy up until then, We had a substantial income and
a "safe" home life, and yet that voice, that increasingly
louder inner self was begging for more. So I did it. I
left.
Don't get me wrong, I tried to fix it, but I was met with
resistance and a statement of not wanting to make any more
"compromises" in his life. So, I wondered, just how long
had I been a compromise? Huh.
He said I couldn't possibly survive, that I'd never make it
on my own. I did though, And then some!
I landed a job with a local company that was skyrocketing with
successes. It was so exciting to be a part of. I started out in
Customer Care and within 6 months was promoted to the Marketing
Dept. Wow.
I could hardly believe the amazing opportunity that landed into my
life. It was a dream job. The best job in the world. I even
traveled with the owners of the company during one year hopping
from state to state. Sometimes I would pinch myself. How did I get
here exactly? It was very exciting.
I have seen so many states and places that I likely would never
have seen. Life was good. Until... The boss hired his wife's
best friend to be the Artistic Director and it was clear from the
beginning that she was prepared to do everything she could to
sabotage my career. She wanted me out. Not sure why. I was well
liked there. I was told that I was a great employee and highly
valued. It took her a while, but she did it. She pecked away at me,
setting me up for failures and working diligently to trip me at
every opportunity and I was assassinated. Just like that after just
2 weeks shy of 4 years I was handed my hat. I was devastated. What
now? Who am I now?
It's been 8 weeks. I have only had one interview. There are so
many people out of work that when I apply for work, I am joined by
250 others. I remain hopeful but there are days that I wonder how
life can change in a puff of smoke. Who am I now? Where
is my next journey? When I'm out with friends what is the
answer when asked "so what do YOU do"? Hello?? Is anybody
in there????
It's time. Time to dig deep and find the person inside, and
re-discover that voice that will beg again for more. Life will
begin again I have no doubt. A new phase of my identity is on the
horizon. I only have to wait... and like a tiny bird breaking from
his shell, I will spread my wings and fly once more. Look out
world, a new me is coming!!
User post: Job loss = Loss of identity?
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Posted by Fri May 22, 2009 6:23am PDT
Report AbuseNo doubt a heart felt, firsthand account about life, work and identity... i changed my job and then had to quit it after a few months bcz of degrading treatment and pressure from co workers. It has been a bumpy road since then due to recession, and i too have faced self esteem issues. But i do hope things wd sort out for both of us.
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Posted by Fri May 22, 2009 7:14am PDT
Report Abusegood luck I love shoes!! It's so difficult right now for so many people! I took a pay cut and have already lost my house, and just took another pay cut and now can't afford my apartment! I'm almost 38, desperately want to divorce my dead beat, alcoholic, abusive husband and I have four young children to support! I desperately need to win the lottery or get a better paying job. Both seem to be an extreme longshot right now. I don't have any luxuries my co-workers talk about. I don't spend money (My kids have outgrown their clothes but I have no moeny to buy them new ones), I hardly have food in the house, and I can't afford my utilities. I skipped a month's rent just so they wouldn't shut off my gas and electric!
You're exactly correct. Any job I apply for has 250 people also applying! I'd like to move away, but my relationship with my husband is such a major roller coaster (plus we don't have the money to move), that I feel it wouldn't really solve anything!
Sorry, I'm ranting now...good luck to you!
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Posted by Fri May 22, 2009 9:03am PDT
Report AbuseAnnie, I'm going through many of the same things. However, I don't have an abusive husband and four children depending on me. So, even though your situation is much worse, you are one step ahead of me. There are organizations whose entire existence is based on helping "abused women and children". Please don't allow your pride or fear stop you from taking advantage of an opportunity to better your life for you and your children. Don't think of it as charity - think of it as choosing a safe environment for your children. Good Luck.
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Posted by Tue May 26, 2009 9:55pm PDT
Report AbuseIt's really tough losing your job, especially in the middle of a recession. I lost mine last October, and didn't find a new one until the beginning of this month. Over the same period, I had some other life crises involving clinical depression and home foreclosure, and it was altogether a miserable time.
Still, I managed to make it through somehow, and was able to eventually find a job. Ultimately, expanding my job search to another area where the economy was in better shape did the trick for me. I had relatives suggesting that early on, and I resisted for various reasons, then discovered it was a great opportunity. I'm as happy now with my new job as I was with my old one, and in some ways, I like the new one better.
My takeway from the whole experience: first, hang in there! The right thing *will* come along if you can keep your hopes up and be ready to take advantage of it. Second, if what you've been doing in your job search hasn't been working, look for new ways to approach it. It may not be feasible to move, but there are lots of ways to rethink your job search.
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Posted by Tue Jun 2, 2009 3:07pm PDT
Report AbuseAll,
The reason we're all unemployed is because:
1) companies have either shipped our jobs OUTSIDE OUR COUNTRY to foreigners, or
@) companies are giving the jobs to foreigners IN OUR COUNTRY whether they hold H1-B visas (leagally here) or NOT (illegally here).
You can help stop the bleeding in our country if you just follow this one small rule: BE AMERICAN - BUY AMERICAN. Stop buying foreign cars, foreign wine, etc. Just stop. Those of you who chose to purchase a foreign car should be ashamed to be seen driving it.
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