One of the strongest emotions, and one that can stop you dead in your tracks, is fear.
Now, don’t get me wrong: Fear is a good thing. It is designed to save your life -- when you are in real danger! And that’s when things get tricky. Not only does fear show up when your life is threatened, it also shows up when you are in no danger at all. It will be there when you want to do something you love, start a business based on your passion, or find the relationship of your dreams. That’s when fear shows up, right next to excitement. And, it can be so overwhelming that you will want to run the other direction and go hide under the covers. Seriously.
How can we deal with this? What can we do when fear gets so strong that it threatens to stop us from pursuing the life of our dreams? And believe me, it happens! Happens all the time as a matter of fact and is one of the single-most reasons why so many people stay in jobs they hate, endure relationships that drain them of all aliveness and, instead of listening to their hearts, follow the safe and secure route of worries, boredom and dissatisfaction. Sounds a bit exaggerated? Take a look around!
Anyway, I am getting carried away here. So, what do you do when fear starts to take over?
- Pay attention: Are you in real danger right now? Is this what I call ‘good fear’ that is designed to alarm you when you are in a life threatening situation? Or is it the sort of fear that comes in when your life gets out of the comfort zone? Making this distinction is the very first step in dealing with your fear.
- Do it anyway. If it is the second kind of fear, the fear of change, realize the feeling of discomfort it creates and keep going!!
- Have a plan of action. The main thing about
fear is that it will stop you from taking action and put you back
into your head. Having a plan is crucial to staying focused and
moving forward. If you find yourself worrying about everything that
can go wrong, check with your plan and take the next step. Pick up
the phone, write a to do list, call your support team - stay in
action, no matter what.
There was a time in my life when my fear got so overwhelming that I found myself driving to a speech, crying behind the wheel. But, hey, 600 people were waiting and the only way to go was forward. That was a good thing! - Take small steps: Remember, Rome was not built in 2 days. Go easy on yourself and take small steps that are just exciting enough to keep you going and that are small enough not to overwhelm you. Moving forward is key!
- Have a support team: Over and over again I have seen this to be the most crucial part in creating change. Have someone that has your back. This can be a spouse, a good friend, a small team of like-minded people, or, a coach. Whenever you get stuck, call for support!
- Take time to celebrate: A lot of times fear shows up when we are exhausted and overworked. Keep a healthy balance of action and relaxation. Taking time to celebrate is easy to forget. So many people start a business just to become their own worst boss ever! The beauty of having your own enterprise is that you can design it any way you want to. Having fun, playing hard and working very little is the whole point :).
Good luck and send me a short message when fear strikes! Just remember, it is part of the game. Be brave and see if you can turn fear into your best friend, the one that shows up every time you are on the right track to living the life of your dreams.
Rock on!
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Photo Credit: The 5th Ape via Flickr under a Creative Commons License
