I see so many articles geared towards women concerning
signs that indicate whether or not their man may be
cheating.
They tell you to look for changes in his behavior,
his spending more time away from you, starting fights over the
smallest of issues, not being where he says he is going to be or
with whom he says he is going to be with or he is becoming more
secretive and emotionally distant....etc
The truth is if you have spent a good amount of time with someone
you pretty much know their quirks.
In your heart of hearts you will KNOW instinctively that something
has changed.
Do you go on a witch hunt looking for clues analyzing
his every word, deed, or article of clothing?
Do you hire a private detective? Install spyware on your
computer? Show up at places where he is suppose to be? Look through
his cell phone for text messages? install hidden cameras in the
house for when you are going to be away? Call the television
show "Cheaters"?
Do you pester him or hound him until he confesses?
The answer to all of these questions is NO!
You cannot control another person.
He is going to do whatever he wants to do.
The only person responsible for your happiness is you!
You decide if what you have is what you want, if the people in your
life are the type of people you want or need in your life.
It does not matter if your man is
cheating!
When I say it doesn’t matter if he is cheating it’s not to say that
having someone cheat on you isn’t painful. What I’m saying to you
is if he is not with you for whatever reason whether
he’d rather spend his time alone watching sports, going out
drinking with his buddies (not occasionally but on a
regular basis) , or even possibly cheating on
you….Being alone is being alone.
The very fact that you suspect he may be cheating whether it’s true or not is an indication that something is missing for you in this relationship. It’s not as though by learning he’s not cheating you suddenly become ” happy” or fulfilled in your relationship.
The bottom line is when someone loves you they are considerate about your feelings.
They want to spend time with you.
They listen to you.
They not only tell you they love you but they show you in big and small ways.
If you are not feeling loved, valued, or appreciated in your relationship and you have expressed this to your man without seeing any changes in his behavior it’s very possible you are with the wrong man.
When you’re with the wrong man it doesn’t matter whether he’s cheating or not.
You will never be
happy.
Are you happy?
That is the real question!
If you are unhappy then it's up to you to make some
changes.
Imagine that your employer is unhappy with your work, odds are
they would put you on a performance plan or fire you out right.
When you're in a relationship you have the right to ask for
what you need.
If the person you are with does not give you what you ask for there
are only two reasons.
1. He does not have it to give.
2. He does not feel you are worth the effort to give it to.
This does not mean there is something wrong with you or even
that there is something wrong with him. It just means HE is
not the RIGHT man for you!
The ball is in your court.
YOU chose him for your lover, your mate, or your spouse.
If you have made a mistake then learn from it and forgive
yourself.
You could spend your precious time trying to change apples into
bananas, teaching cats how to bark, liars to tell the truth,
or thieves to be trustworthy, all the while becoming
more resentful and frustrated with each disappointment.... or
you can simply go out and find a man who is already doing
everything you want.
With close to 7 Billion people on the planet and half of them
being men I have to like your odds!
If you want a man that opens doors for a woman you could nag the
man you have to do so, or find a man that already does it!
If you are (truly unhappy) with something your man is doing or
not doing then it's time to "take it to the door"!
The door knows all!
The door lets those in that want in, and those out that want
out.
In other words you have to ask yourself, "Is this a deal
breaker?"
1. If it is, Get the hell out! (Life is short)
2. It it's not, then learn to do without. (Avoid
frustration and resentment which comes with nagging)
If you are not going to leave you may as well adjust your
expectations and accept him for who he is. You don't raise
adults! A mother-child relationship with a man is never
a good thing.
Monogamy is a choice of self -discipline
Honesty is an internal characteristic of one's moral code.
You don't demand or negotiate love and affection.
They are given freely.
You don't manufacture chemistry. It's either there or
it's not.
Bottom line: If your man is not the kind of man you want it does
not matter if he is cheating.
"The world may not owe you anything but YOU owe yourself the
world"
Choose your thoughts, Choose your life.
Let go of situations and people that bring negativity into your
life or make you unhappy.
Dashingscorpio!
