Manage Your Life

Sunday, November 8, 2009

What's next for the empty nester?

by Vivian Steir Rabin

My co-author and iRelaunch co-founder Carol was recently doing a prototypical parent thing—taking one of her kids, a senior in high school, for a quickie trip to visit one last possible college—when she picked up a copy of Philadelphia magazine on her US Airways flight.  The baby-pink cover probably caught her attention, as did, I’m sure, the headline: “You Quit Your Job to Raise Your Kids . . . And Now They’re Grown. . . Now What? . . . The Existential Crisis of the Stay-at-Home Mom” by Vicki Glembocki  http://www.phillymag.com/articles/the_existential_crisis_of_the_wait_at_home_mom/ .

Although the cover displayed a Main Line-ey looking woman in a pink sweater set with obligatory pearls, and the power yoga pow-wows and three types of chicken salad lunches may have been a little too much for my plebian tastes, the story was happily straightforward and empathetic.  After so many articles either mocking or berating the educated stay-at-home mom, it was refreshing to see one that mostly just described her state, rather than passing judgment on it.  And, judging by the many favorable comments the author received from Philly-area SAHMs, she described it well indeed.
 
This is a welcome development in what Carol and I call the Relaunch Movement—that of educated women who opted out in the last two decades—thinking about opting back in.  There are over two million of them all over the country—women between the ages of 25-54, with at least a BA degree, and children under 18, who are NOT currently working, and studies estimate that anywhere from 70-93% would like to return to work. 

But the first step in helping these women get back to work is understanding them.  That’s where articles like Vicki Glembocki’s come in.  Both employers and stay-at-home moms themselves need to realize that they have a lot to offer, but first the moms themselves must figure out “who they are now.”  When we interviewed women for our book Back on the Career Track, only about one-third wanted to return to the work they had done prior to having children.  Another third wanted to do something related but not the same, and another third wanted to do something totally different, like the commercial banker who became a certified teacher of English as a Second Language.  To make this sort of transition, and even one that’s not so radical, you really have to get to know yourself as you are today and be honest about what your current self is telling you.  It’s going to be damn hard to get a job in corporate law, no matter what law school you attended, if that’s not what your inner self is rooting for. 

So, however you do it, whether you take a battery of occupational tests, visit a career counselor or therapist, or keep a journal, make sure you spend the time to figure out who you’ve grown into.  Then you can start to figure out what’s next, now that your children have grown up.

Photo credit: http://texasrealestate.blogs.com/weblog/images/2008/04/07/emptynesters.jpg


Carol Fishman Cohen and Vivian Steir Rabin are the co-authors of the acclaimed career reentry book Back on the Career Track: A Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms Who Want to Return to Work, and the co-founders of iRelaunch, a company providing career reentry programming, events, and information to employers, universities, organizations and to mid-career professionals in all stages of career break.

For more information on Relaunching, see iRelaunch and check out Back on the Career Track.  Carol and Vivian can be reached at info@iRelaunch.com.

Last chance to register for this Wednesday's Career Relaunch Forum, a one day return to work conference at George Washington University in Washington D.C. We've had a terrific response and are very excited about the upcoming Forum.  Hope to see D.C. area residents on career break looking to return to work on November 12th!

Vivian Steir Rabin                        Carol Fishman Cohen


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Comments 1 of 1
  • Lisa's Avatar
    Posted by Lisa Mon Mar 16, 2009 7:50pm PDT

    I can relate to this. I have a BBA in Office Administration, but I was a stay-at-home mom for most of my kids lives. I became a substitute teacher so I could stay somewhat active and still be available for my kids. I did this until my youngest graduated from High School. Now I have an internet business I work from home, but I am using the education and skills I learned earlier in my college years, as well as those from motherhood. Even if you don't have a college degree, any stay-at-home mom has an honorary "domestic engineer" degree in my book.

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