Work + Money

From the Community…

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  Posted by Unsinkable Tue Jul 1, 2008 8:55am PDT

  As a single female, I see this a lot these days & I am absolutely appalled. I refuse to go out with a man who still gets money from his parents so he can live above his means. If you're an adult & you haven't fallen on hard times, get a job & live within your means, grow up & realize that once your parents get old, YOU have to be the one to step up & take care of THEM!

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  Posted by Madelyn Tue Jul 1, 2008 10:08am PDT

  Personally, I see this all the time with where I live. I'm appalled by it as well. I'm 21, and I've been working since I was 16. I've had full time jobs since I was 18. I won't ask my parents for money. It's just not right. I'm capable of working and earning my own money. Occasionally, my dad asks me if I need some money, but I always so "no" even if I know I NEED it. Sometimes the money is tight, but you have to get through it. You can't always rely on someone to help you out. If my dad visits and offers me $20, $30, or even $100, I won't turn it down! lol! I didn't ask for it; he offered it up and so I accept his offer. My parents love me and I know they'll do what ever they can help me out, but I'm an adult. The line has to be drawn somewhere. I have to take care of myself. Yes, I still live at home with my mother, but I buy my own groceries, pay my own bills, have my own car which I pay for, etc. She doesnt make me pay rent because she enjoys me living there, and being that I'm the baby she really doesnt want me to leave just yet. My parents raised me to be independent, but if I need the help, they made it clear that I can come to them for it.

  That's what parents are for; they aren't ATMs though. If you are capable of working, then get off your lazy ass and earn your own money! Your parents had to work towards their retirement, and they shouldn't be giving their children allowances out of their retirement funds either.

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  Posted by candibar21 Tue Jul 1, 2008 10:17am PDT

  This is just plain stupid. I have witnessed this within my own family, My Aunt and Uncle treat my Grandma like an ATM. My parents don't and never will. My brother and I do not treat my parents likes an ATM. I will never ask my parents to give me money unless it is some kind of emergency. THat is the only time when it is acceptable. My brother in law treats his Dad like an ATM. It is really sad that each time my father in law visits he thanks my husband and I for not treating him like an ATM.

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  Posted by Chloe Tue Jul 1, 2008 10:30am PDT

  Yeah, it's embarrassing when you have to hit your folks up for money when you are an adult and they are retiring. It is all relative though. For example many retired professionals have amassed more wealth than they need in their lifetime (nice) and so they chose to share it with their children and grandchildren while they are alive to see the good it does. That is more than fine, it is commendable. However, I suspect it’s not the most common case.

  I think parents and children should respect each other. As adults we should save enough money for retirement so as not to be a burden to our children. And, as children, once our parents have fulfilled their obligation to rear us, providing or us and safely bringing us to adult hood (commonly considered 18-21 years) we should not be a burden to our parents.

  Now in this economy many young adults may have to continue to live at home for a little longer or for a short while after college and that should not present a huge problem as long as they are working, respecting their parent’s homes and contributing where they can.

  Other than that, if an adult has a pressing need to rely on an aging parent for financial support – that adult did something wrong in the steps to self-sustaining adulthood. Time to assess!

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  Posted by Caramel Cake Tue Jul 1, 2008 10:53am PDT

  I am so glad that somebody finally brought this up. My boyfriend is 34, and his mom still takes care of him likes he was 10. He refuses to keep a job because he knows that she will buy him the stuff that he needs. She buys him groceries, pays his utilities, and buys him clothes and shoes. He wants me to do it but I already have 5 kids to take care of. I am also guilty of this myself, when I am in a bind, my dad always comes and saves the day. I guess it's something about girls and their daddies. I have tried to become more self sufficient, but with everything going up it gets a little hard to.

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  Posted by c_stoppa01 Tue Jul 1, 2008 10:56am PDT

  You almost always have that one "black sheep" in the family that is mooching off the parents. I have one in mine. Its not me, thank God. Any how I work at a utility company and take bill payments. It is sad when I see grown adults with children of their own have to call Mommy and daddy when their power is cut off. But if parents never stop, neither will the "children".

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  Posted by Renaissancegirl Tue Jul 1, 2008 11:13am PDT

  My dad has provided help and support for me, on and off, my whole adult life. Do I ask him for it? No. Do I expect it? No. Am I always grateful and appreciative when he does? Yes. When I was laid off a few years ago, he bought me groceries a few times and helped me with my rent. When I got hit with a major illness and couldn't afford to live on my own anymore, he let me live with him for 3 months rent free so I could get on my feet. He is very well off financially and wants to help his kids, and we are very appreciative for it. I am not financially irresponsible, and for the most part have been able to be self-sufficient since I graduated high school. But everyone needs help how and then. As long as the parent does not become financially strapped and the adult child does not expect mommy and daddy to bail them out of every little thing, I see nothing wrong with a parent helping their child every now and then. And I will definitely repay that kindness and generosity when the day comes that I will have to care for him, because that is what families do - they help each other.

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  Posted by Carol Tue Jul 1, 2008 1:18pm PDT

  This goes on all the time in my area, albeit stealthily. Right now, I know two couples in their 30s with kids with parents who purchased their homes for them (honest!), another couple in their 30s who receive a large check EACH MONTH from his parents -- enough to let him be unemployed for years yet still buy new cars and go on vacation, and another whose parents are subsidizing her remodel and providing free housing the meantime. No matter how hard my husband and I work, we just can't compete with this kind of income stream. we're still paying off our own student loans! It's just hard when you have friend who are so pampered.

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  Posted by Ben Tue Jul 1, 2008 1:34pm PDT

  I think this article is stupid. I mean I am not the type that treats my Parents like ATM's(that is my Brother). But what does it hurt if your parents help you out financially some way or another. I am not a bum I have had a job constantly since I was 16 but have had two kids taken away from me. Therefor my parents help me out from time to time on some sort of bill or food. My brother on the other hand has been to prison and back 3 times and still lives off my mom with his wife and 3 kids. So I can see where this article is going but all of you who say you are apald I bet are eiter rich or lying and getting money and too afraid that we as young adults need help from time. Im not dependant on my parents like an atm but find it very helpful that my parents offer the help from time to time. With Gas prices wailing out of control due to the us government sucking at politics . This which has caused the prices of food and everything else to go up. My parents arent rich they are working class citizens but why criticize the rest of the nation or stereo type all young adults by one writers opinion while writing an article.

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  Posted by Ben Tue Jul 1, 2008 1:35pm PDT

  I think this article is stupid. I mean I am not the type that treats my Parents like ATM's(that is my Brother). But what does it hurt if your parents help you out financially some way or another. I am not a bum I have had a job constantly since I was 16 but have had two kids taken away from me. Therefor my parents help me out from time to time on some sort of bill or food. My brother on the other hand has been to prison and back 3 times and still lives off my mom with his wife and 3 kids. So I can see where this article is going but all of you who say you are apald I bet are eiter rich or lying and getting money and too afraid that we as young adults need help from time. Im not dependant on my parents like an atm but find it very helpful that my parents offer the help from time to time. With Gas prices wailing out of control due to the us government sucking at politics . This which has caused the prices of food and everything else to go up. My parents arent rich they are working class citizens but why criticize the rest of the nation or stereo type all young adults by one writers opinion while writing an article.

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