Work + Money

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Could you work with your spouse?

My husband Peter and I are now seven months into working together every day at Women For Hire. Even though he’s been my biggest cheerleader from a distance, the company has always been my baby, not his.

We had toyed with the idea for years that he should give up the only career he had ever known—newspaper journalism—so we could work together. The curiosity, challenge, and fun in his line of work had dissipated and it was high-time for Act Two. Yet, it’s always scary to pull the trigger and up and quit. Both of us were gun-shy.

But at the end of last year, his employer of nearly 30 years— USA TODAY—made a one-time offer that he simply couldn’t refuse: A somewhat generous voluntary buyout. They were paying him to leave. Woo hoo—he couldn’t sign those papers fast enough!

While our kids knew what was going on, we were scared to tell extended family. The reactions would be predictable: Are you sure this is a good idea? Won’t you hate being together 24/7? How will Peter feel going from being a national columnist at the biggest paper in the country to a nobody at a small shop nobody’s heard of? Will working for his wife bruise Peter’s ego?

We played the cynics’ questions over and over and continued to come to the same conclusion: We were confident this was the right move for us. We weren’t naïve enough to assume this arrangement would be without some challenges, and we’ve taken measures to address them.

Even though we work in an open office with lots of other people, a half wall separates Peter and me. This provides just enough privacy and space. We never fight (or kiss!) in front of colleagues. We hardly “yes” each other either; we’re perfectly willing to reject one another’s harebrained ideas. Each of us has distinct roles and responsibilities that build on our individual strengths and expertise. And perhaps most importantly, we have tremendous respect for one another. This business partnership works because we don’t just love like husband and wife; we really like each other as best friends too.

Copreneurship, which is defined as married and in business together, definitely isn’t for everyone. Plenty of couples cherish their time apart and couldn’t fathom the thought of sharing both the personal and professional. The ability to partner to create a happy home and a thriving business is somewhat magical. Listen to your head and your heart to know if such an arrangement might work for you. Test the waters slowly with business trips and even lunch meetings together with key contacts. Work on a project together and see how your partner reacts to your candid opinions. Figure out how you'll measure the success of the arrangement and determine an exit strategy upfront in the event of a failed professional partnership, so the personal one isn't destroyed in the process.

For now, Peter and I have no regrets. Our home is busy and full with our kids. Our lives revolve around those “babies” as well as this one. We’re now living, breathing and growing Women For Hire together.

Tory Johnson is the CEO of Women For Hire, which produces high-caliber recruiting events and online career services to connect professional women with leading employers nationwide.

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 33
  • superkate's Avatar
    Posted by superkate Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:36am PDT

    I also own a business with my husband. We each have our specialty and our seperate roles that the other doesn't step into unless one of us are gone or busy. We previously had a business where we worked side by side doing everything together. I hated it. NEither of us had seperate time and things were too stressful. This set up now is much better and we appreciate each other more. But it is not for everyone and people should think deep & hard about this prior to copreneurship

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  • Caramel Cake's Avatar
    Posted by Caramel Cake Tue Jul 15, 2008 11:49am PDT

    I know this isn't exactly the same thing, but my boyfriend and I use to work together, that's actually where we met. I couldn't stand it. I would hear things other women said about him and I would get fighting mad. He also heard things about me. We were so jealous of one another that we ended up fighting one day at work and that's when it all came out. We lost that job of course and we vowed never to work together again, so that we could keep or lives separated. Now he works only where men work and I work where only women work. It's crazy nut it keeps us from fighting so much.

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  • ashley's Avatar
    Posted by ashley Wed Jul 16, 2008 6:24am PDT

    Well - I could NOT work w/ my significant other. That's just how we are - completely different. I like it one way, he likes it another. I love him for being completely different than me, and we work together to make sure everything at home is straight. But, we only see each other while we're commuting, when we get home for dinner, when we go to sleep, and on the weekends. Thank GOD I have other interests and a job where he's not involved. I wouldn't be able to get anything done or have any peace. But some relationships are different. Its great if you can have your significant other be your business partner.

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  • babydoll's Avatar
    Posted by babydoll Wed Jul 16, 2008 11:06am PDT

    My husband and I have been working together now for alomst 2 years. It's great sometimes and then other times he drives me nuts. It defintley has its upsides considering we have 4 kids. If one gets sick at least the boss belives us that one of us has to go out!!..lol

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  • Leah's Avatar
    Posted by Leah Wed Jul 16, 2008 11:35am PDT

    I have been working for my husband for a year, and he drives me nuts! I'm sure if I was doing something I love to do, or we were equal partners it would be better. I can honestly say I have a hard time taking orders from him. I think we spend to much time together. We work together, we carpool, we live together, we go out together....we need a break! I miss working somewhere else!

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  • Ashlee's Avatar
    Posted by Ashlee Wed Jul 16, 2008 1:51pm PDT

    I work with my husband. I think it's amazing. I mean don't get me wrong, there are some days we want to kill each other but it makes us stronger as a couple in the end. Plus, carpooling is always a plus. Especially with gas prices the way they are. :) Don't take your spouse for granted... you never know what tomorrow brings.

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  • Carrah T's Avatar
    Posted by Carrah T Wed Jul 16, 2008 3:03pm PDT

    My husband and I opened a business about 3 years ago. He worked fulltime there while I worked fulltime as a nurse during the day and did the "bookkeeping" at our business in the evenings, plus we juggled activities with 5 kids. For the last year I have been at the business fulltime and I love it. We each have seperate responsabilities and lean on each other for support and ideas. The only employee's we have are family, he and I fulltime and our teenage son after school and during the summer. When I am mad at him or he at me it is very hard to carry through with the normal leave for work and stew over it attitudes. I feel that working together has enabled us to build a stronger marriage and a deeper respect for each other. PLUS! We do not pay daycare anymore, boss can't complain about bringing the kids to work and we see them more now than ever before.

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  • lizzy's Avatar
    Posted by lizzy Wed Jul 16, 2008 3:12pm PDT

    october will be fourteen years I have worked 11 hrs a day with my husband. Through the years I have quit a time or two, on friday...got my job back on Monday. I have been fired a time or two rehired the next day. I guess what I'm saying is that it has been a fun ride. My husband and I are both strong personality types so arguments happen. Our business is auto repair so that in its self is a very high stress job. If your child is sick and you care her to the doctor she gets medicine, you give it time to work right? But people with thier cars which take longer to fix don't give thier mechanic time to work. So STRESS is adaily factor.

    But one thing for sure, working with your spouse will make you understand and respect them much more than other couples that don't work together.

    You laugh daily together,cry over the same things,

    and for us it has made us so close.

    when it works it is great!

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  • blues baby's Avatar
    Posted by blues baby Wed Jul 16, 2008 4:49pm PDT

    I now have a second very fulfilling career after working full time with my husband for many years...I'm surprised we're still married to be honest with you...because of my qualifications it was easier for me to find another job and I still put in quite a few hours at our joint venture but never again would I put myself through that on a full time basis...not enough personal time and too much stress trying to balance it all...think about it...would you want to live with your co-workers? We own a music store and we are also professional musicians that play in several bands together...my time at my other job seems like a vacation!!!

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  • Leanne's Avatar
    Posted by Leanne Thu Jul 17, 2008 4:42am PDT

    My hubby and I do a radio morning show in Alabama. It has it moments, but mostly great ones. !!!

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Comments 1-10 of 33

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"The meaning of the word 'integrity' may vary from person to person, but I understand it to mean something very specific: Acting in a way that is consistent with your values."