Work + Money

Sunday, September 7, 2008

Sexual harassment in school -- what's the long-term impact on education and career?

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There have been a string of incidents at my daughter’s high school in which a male teacher has been making inappropriate comments to and about a fifteen year-old student. The man is the girl’s P.E. teacher, track coach and homeroom teacher and he called the girl “cleavage queen” in class. In a separate conversation he told her that she would “probably like it if 35 year-old men made comments about her picture” on the Internet. In yet another incident the same teacher was starting false rumors and spreading gossip about the girl to other students, claiming she would be “a better runner if she quit smoking” and that she “probably smokes pot.”

Just for the record, I know this girl and she shops at Abercrombie and Fitch, not Frederick’s of Hollywood. She definitely would not like 35 year-old men to comment about her picture or ogle her in any other fashion. She does not smoke anything. And even if she wore underwear to school and chain smoked in the cafeteria, no teacher is ever justified in speaking to or about students in this manner.

It made me think of my own high school experience back in the eighties and you know what? That kind of behavior happened all the time. I can only remember six of my high school teachers; one because he was a wonderful teacher. Another because he was a terrible teacher. The other four I remember because they all made sexually inappropriate comments. One told me he would give me an A if I wore a mini skirt to school and went on the cat walk that went through the room. Another teacher put his arm around me on the first day of class and told me that I didn’t have to do the work to get a good grade. And while talking to a friend one day, I said I was so bored I was going to jump out the window. A teacher passing by told me to not jump until he got downstairs. So I could land on his face. How gross/mortifying/nasty is that? All this occurred in what was the best Chicago public high school at the time. But it was a school that had been boys-only until just a decade prior and an astounding number of male teachers perpetually harassed the new female population.

Then in college I was befriended by a college professor. He gave me a collection of works by Flannery O’Connor and told me I had the talent to be a great writer. I was young and naiive, so I was flattered. Then he began to send me poetry. Then he taped candy canes all over my car. Then he called my house 15 times a day for months on end until I finally moved and changed my number.

When it comes to sexual harassment in an academic environment, I know I am infuriatingly far from alone. In light of current events, I have been talking about this issue with several adult women and their stories are nothing short of horrifying. I have been told about affairs between teachers and students – in high school. Stories about groping and offers of grades in exchange for sexual favors.

Every girl being harassed is being told that her looks and sex are more important than her intelligence, skills or effort. She is placed in a position of feeling that she must choose between her grades or permitting verbal and/or physical violations to continue. Shame, humiliation, helplessness and anger are obvious outcomes of those on the receiving end of this kind of treatment. But what is less tangible is the long-term impact sexual harassment has on academic and business careers.

The girl at my daughter’s school had to switch P.E. and homeroom classes four weeks before the end of the school year. She quit track. She went from an A in class participation to an F. And these are only the quantifiable outcomes. How can this child trust or respect her teachers now?

Personally, I became a frequent truant of the classes in which my teachers were inappropriate. My grade point average suffered, impacting my college options. After the stalking incident by my college professor “friend,” I quit writing for years.

I find it stunning that in this day and age sexual harassment in secondary and higher education is still happening. Not because I think people capable of this behavior are fundamentally different than they were twenty years ago, but with the legal and financial consequences as severe as they are today, one would think those doing the harassing would be more strongly deterred. Unfortunately, it seems that the drive to abuse power and authority at the cost of young girls’ sense of self, safety, and academic potential, is simply not worth trying to resist.

How common is sexual harassment in high school these days? Do you think this case is a rare exception? Was sexual harassment in your high school or college as prevalent as it was in mine?

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 11
  • zach hammong's Avatar
    Posted by zach hammong Fri May 23, 2008 8:51pm PDT

    I like to read books

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  • rama's Avatar
    Posted by rama Sun May 25, 2008 3:30am PDT

    Yes, sexual harrassment is prevalent in India also. But the sad part is school management, relatives, all will scold the girl student only. This harrassment starts even from the age of 10/11 years, That child is in a very confused stage and she doesn't know how to respond. It is a very horrible experience for student and parents also.

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  • Pam's Avatar
    Posted by Pam Sun May 25, 2008 9:16am PDT

    I teach high school history and I can state that while I've never witnessed or been a part of the harassment of a student, I have been sexually harassed by my students. I've been teaching since I was 23 and being young and female really sets you up for a lot of inappropriate comments. Things have been small, where boys have commented on my clothes or stared a lot, but I've had boys knock things off their desks on purpose so that I have to bend over to get it. I've been asked out on dates, to homecoming, to prom, etc. One senior boy was the worst; he was failing my class and told me that if I graded him on his sexual abilities, he would definitely get an A. And new teachers feel there is no where to go with their complaints. Things have gotten better since I've been teaching for a few years but it still can get disgusting.

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  • ***Diana***'s Avatar
    Posted by ***Diana*** Mon May 26, 2008 3:27pm PDT

    Wow, I never realized that this would happen!

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  • jenny's Avatar
    Posted by jenny Tue May 27, 2008 4:55am PDT

    This is a sensitive subject for me to this day. I graduated outside of Dallas in 1991. I took a two year break from activities I enjoyed my sophmore/junior year to escape the torment. I am still not ready to "share" my own stories concerning this subject nor am I happy that I am not alone in this. I did not or was not able to attend college, much to do with this problem. I would have loved to have become a writer, photographer, and/or artist in general. I am happily married with three children now, but still have serious trust and boundary issues stemming from my own experiences. As much as I would like to "GET OUT THERE"......I've found it easier to work independently and now from home to avoid harassement/cruelty period. My daughter is only 7 months now; but I fear how I may handle any situation she may stumble into concerning this subject in the future. Thanks for putting this out there!!!!!!!! Maybe it will subside a lot and/or better STOP; by the time she starts her own school career.

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  • GWoman's Avatar
    Posted by GWoman Tue May 27, 2008 7:19am PDT

    I'm sorry this is happening to women. It is abuse and it is against the law. I've had similar thing happen to me, but it was OTJ at a University and it wasn't sexual harassment, but racial harassment and discriminatory behavior. I reported it. Got fired after reporting it. Nothing was done to the people to harassed me; and I was enrolled in a graduae degree at the same University at the time. Result is; I haven't been able to get employment in years, I have had no support and even (dare I say it) sabotaged in trying to complete my degree; all causing great me a disabling depression.

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  • Beth's Avatar
    Posted by Beth Tue May 27, 2008 9:55am PDT

    Thankfully I never had to put up from that myself, the teasing/sexual harrassment I got from fellow students was enough. But yes it was very common in my school, there was favoritism between some male teachers and their female students. I know of at least one teacher who ended up marrying a student after she graduated, and I know of some other "affairs" that went on between a female teacher and student as well as other male teachers and students. This was in the late 90s.

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  • Amy Ann's Avatar
    Posted by Amy Ann Tue May 27, 2008 12:31pm PDT

    I never had anything like that happen to me in high school (and by the way, you should look into getting that gym teacher fired) but I had it happen to me in grad school.

    A professor there was not overt in his harrassment but when I would talk to him his eyes were always straying south with a leer and trust me, I am not a girl who shows cleavage! I was a graduate assistant also and one particular time I was sent to him because of a request he put in for some help with a research project. Another prof. was in his office but that didn't stop him from eyeing me up and down and saying "Looks like we got a good one" to the other prof. who ignored the comment while I grabbed the assignment and left the room.

    It was always very subtle but always very disgusting and disturbing. I talked to another professor about it who said that this was a recurring pattern but the admin would do nothing about it. It was infuriating and frustrating. It was one of the many reasons I left grad school. Which sucked since I had an A- average.

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  • chattonius's Avatar
    Posted by chattonius Tue May 27, 2008 5:56pm PDT

    Ladies, we can't let this continue. We must stand up for ourselves and our right to be strong, intelligent and fabulous women.

    Sexual harrassment has followed me for years. It started in high school with a teacher who called me a slut in front of the class. I told my Mom and she took care of it for me. That didn't end the harrassment, though, because I was being harrassed by a number of male students. I turned one of them in when he tried to put his hand down my pants (I was 15) but even though this individual stopped harrassing me, the combined harrassment by all his friends was much worse. Fortunately, we moved.

    I spent a lot of my high school years trying to fight off guys who wanted more than I did, and college was no better. Though I met my wonderful husband my freshman year, the harrassment didn't stop. The problem with sexual harrassment in college is that once you're considered to be an "adult" the issues and consequences change. I caught the eye of a professor (which was a bit flattering at first) but it was so obvious that other students spread rumors that I was sleeping with him (much to my newlywed horror). The power relationships are different in college than in high school, and fortunately, I graduated with honors in spite of the harrassment.

    Over time, I've rarely been able to keep a straight male friend. Most recently, I befriended a fellow PhD student (married, 2 kids) and a few months later he told me he was fantasizing about me. That friendship, obviously, could not continue. This is one example of many, and I'm sure most of you reading this have had a similar experience.

    I've definitely been affected by years of harrassment, though. I now have a difficult time trusing men (other than my wonderful husband) including the male professors in my PhD program. I've had to reason to distrust my current professors, fortunately none of them have ever been appropriate, but I still can't open up. I know this is affecting my academic career. However, almost every time I open up to trust someone, it backfires.

    I have, through all this frustration, learned a few lessons. One is that when a friend begins to go down the road of harrassment, cut him off. Period. You don't need these people in your life. A second lesson is that public humiliation goes a long way toward ending sexual harrassment. The last man who touched me inappropritely (a friend's older brother), received a very loud dose of this and he turned and ran.

    Ladies, we have to stand up for ourselves, and not by running to our supervisors or by sueing over a hostile work environment. We must confront our harrassers individually and vocally to make them understand that this is not acceptable. Men have gotten away with this for so long because we haven't stopped them. Granted, some harrassment progresses to stalking and can be dangerous (this happened to a friend of mine) and in that case contacting the authorities is neccessary. However, harrassment can be nipped in the bud, and we have to be strong enough to do this for ourselves.

    I'm sorry that this post is so long, and that it will anger some of you. I've also experienced how powerless harrassment can make you feel, but the only way to shake that feeling is by taking control of the situation in a way that a man can understand... directly.

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  • ChristinaG's Avatar
    Posted by ChristinaG Tue Jun 3, 2008 3:23pm PDT

    When I was in high school in the early 90s, it was really common. In college too. You inspired me to post about my experience: http://www.amiexpat.com/2008/06/03/sexual-harrassment-in-academia-my-experience/

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