Deirdre Carey was stricken with cancer when she was 32 years old, but it wasn’t her who was given the diagnosis of less than a year to live, it was her almost six-month-old son, Charlie. But for Deirdre, hearing the unthinkable helped her achieve the impossible. Children are our joy; we would stop at nothing to help them live full and happy lives. And the this family found ways to move mountains.
Deirdre’s journey was documented in her highly compelling and emotionally riveting book, Hope, Faith, And Charlie, which she self-published. In the memoir, Charlie’s life force is evident and beyond inspirational. Even before he turned one, he taught more lessons than some share in a lifetime, having a profound effect on his older brother Jay, who seems wise beyond his young years. Behind every strong family stands a mother, smart and forgiving, open and caring—Deirdre Carey is that woman. And after reading her book, she’ll feel like a best friend you’ve never met.
I read Hope, Faith, And Charlie in three days and probably wouldn’t have put it down if I didn’t have to eat, sleep, and work. It captures all my favorite elements of the fantastic Showtime series American Life and is more inspirational than the true stories highlighted on Real Sports and Primetime Live. I shed tears and smiled along the way, and it’s a book every mother should read, every person should read.Through a series of emails and calls, Deirdre and I caught up seven and a half years after Charlie’s diagnosis. And what I love most about her is that cancer didn’t define her family. If I had to put one word to describe her and her sons besides one from the title of her book, it would be, quite simply, love.
Before Deirdre took on some serious business with cancer, she worked in advertising. She landed her first job out of college at Hill, Holliday Advertising, New England ’s largest agency…as a receptionist. She moved up the ranks, worked on many prestigious accounts, got married, and decided to make the jump to the client-side of the business, which seemed more manageable and family-friendly. For the next few years, Deirdre worked in various senior-level marketing roles at many prestigious companies including Bank of America, Harvard Pilgrim Healthcare, and Carat-Freeman. Soon, Deirdre and her husband John welcomed two beautiful sons, Jay and Charlie, born 21 months apart. Like many families, they struggled having to put the children into daycare. “The monthly rate could have afforded us a second home!” she says. But Deirdre was considered the breadwinner of the family, so not working wasn’t an option. While a senior marketing executive at Carat-Freeman, one of the largest media buying agencies in New England , Deirdre was the first employee that have vied for a paid maternity leave and negotiated, at length, that the company allowed her to work a flex-schedule (four days in the office leaving at 3pm, and one day working from home). It was certainly a victory, but little did she know that five and a half months after returning from leave, she would embark on the fight of her life. Deirdre’s youngest son, Charlie, was diagnosed with a rare and deadly form of brain and spine cancer, Choroid Plexus Carcinoma, a cancer that strikes less than 10 children a year in this country. “Charlie was given 10 months to live,” she says. Deirdre immediately left her job to be with her son as he aggressively battled his disease.The family struggled in every way—mentally, emotionally, financially. “[It was] the greatest challenge of my life…watching my infant son battle stage 4 brain cancer,” she shares. “I needed to do everything in my power to help fight his disease. At the time, I had a two-year-old, and his life and happiness was just as important as beating the cancer.” Charlie endured 21 months of intensive chemotherapy, and a total of 11 surgeries over the course of three years.
Although Charlie went into remission “by the Grace of God,” he still required a lot of medical attention, as well as speech and occupational therapy—all of which prevented Deirdre from being able to go back to work full-time. Not that she wanted to, but because her family’s financial situation was still unstable. To help supplement her husband’s salary, Deirdre began selling Pampered Chef, a career move that landed her the sixth top sales person in the company during her three-months on the payroll.Once Charlie’s health seemed more stable and manageable, Deirdre took a freelance job as a Marketing Director at a local production company working a part-time schedule and continued to sell Pampered Chef at night. Charlie’s cancer was a major challenge, but Deirdre tells us: “The second greatest challenge was fulfilling a promise I made to God when my son was diagnosed. I got on my hands and knees and promised Him that if my son survived, I would do everything in my power to renew people’s faith and belief in miracles.” So with her pages of notes from the many visits to the hospital, she penned Hope, Faith, And Charlie.
Eleven months after Charlie went into remission, and one month after the completion of her book, Deirdre’s husband left her on the night of their eight-year wedding anniversary. Shortly after, he moved in with his new girlfriend and her two sons. Blindsided and in complete despair, Deirdre struggled daily to find the strength within herself to keep focused on keeping her family intact. “I honestly didn’t know if I had the strength, on the heels of my son’s illness, to move on. But I was a mother of two, and as painful and terrifying as it was, I slowly grew a backbone again,” she says. “During that time, my mother passed away, and I thought, ‘how much more can I take!’” For the third time in three years, her life was in turmoil. “My mother raised me to be strong, and to never to go around a hurdle, but instead, to thrust myself over it.” And that she eventually did. It took close to two years to gain her self-confidence back, and rebuild her life with her two sons.
Read the rest of Deirdre's incredible story at WorkingMother.com.
Written by Michele Zipp
