Work + Money

From the Community…

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  Posted by Diane K. Danielson Thu May 1, 2008 2:24pm PDT

  Hi -

  As a fellow working mom (single mom at that), this was always a bit of a problem for me, especially when I worked in a non-techie field which depended on my face-to-face time both in the office and with potential clients. My solution? For afterhours events, every few months, I would fly my mother in and then hit one or two events every night that week. (In lieu of mom, a husband or nanny could help). After my being out and about for a week, then I wouldn't have to do anything for months. I stayed on all the invite lists and people saw my face just enough to avoid relegating me to the mommy-track.

  I was thinking that I tended to do a version of this in the office too. I would pick a day and just dedicate it to catching up with everyone I really, really needed to. Then I could go back to meeting my deadlines, including the all important kid-related ones.

  Diane K. Danielson

  ceo, www.DowntownWomensClub.com

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  Posted by tjthomas30297 Thu May 1, 2008 6:02pm PDT

  Wow! This hit so close to home for me. As a new mother, yet alone single mother, this is the hardest thing for me to do. I dont want to lose anytime I have with my 1 year old but I dont want to seem like too harsh of a boss. I socialize with the staff and family members as much as I can during the day. But I can only leave my son with the babysitter for so long. His father is in his life and would take care of him if only his hours were not as crazy as mine. I have a wonderful babysitter who loves my son like he is her own grandchild. So I have made it to the "family meetings" and big events. But when I cant have my son there I feel like Im taking away from his time. But now I can see how its important to balance it all to further my career. And I guess its better to do it while his is young.

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  Posted by ilinap Thu May 1, 2008 6:19pm PDT

  OMG! I totally get this. I faced this issue when I telecommuted even before I was a mom. Now I work for myself and continue to face this issue. I plan my schedule so I can take my boys to school, pick them up, and eat lunch with them everyday. That means no lunch appointments for me, and I am running out of excuses. Most clients do not know I work part-time. The ones who do are totally understanding, supportive even. Oddly enough, mostly my male colleagues are cool with my choices. My female counterparts are the ones who are bitchy, envious, or perhaps overwhelmed. I get that too. I've stopped trying to win. All I can do is cope.

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  Posted by Shannan B Fri May 2, 2008 10:11am PDT

  This is so true. I also found that I began to not have as much to talk about with my co-workers who did not have children. They were still going out, hitting up local places for happy hour, etc. while I was now rushing home from work to try and spend time with the new family.

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  Posted by ereneda03 Sun May 4, 2008 12:16pm PDT

  Wow, this is very true. When I returned back to work after having my daughter, my co-worker commented to me that the fire and enthusiasm had drained from my eyes. I felt like I had to prove that even though I am a mom, I am still the same hardworking individual that I was before and being a mom doesn't make me a second-rate person. I still love my job, but my passion has transferred to my family and my adorable baby girl. I rush home to see her and go home on my lunches now. I'm happily on the mommytrack, but sometimes I have this sinking feeling if I am dooming my career path. But at the end of the day, money comes and money goes, but the time that you have with your kids are priceless and I will never regret placing my daughter first. I made this decision by thinking, what matters to me most is my baby and my family more than money, success, etc. Luckily, my work allows me to work part-time and pump breastmilk during work hours. I know that I am very lucky to be in a position where I know my peers and upper management alike support my decision to be a mommy.

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  Posted by Susan Jackson Mon May 5, 2008 8:35am PDT

  I'm glad this hit home for some people. I think it's one of those lower-on-the-radar topics for working moms, but affects our careers nonetheless. Worth considering, even if you still decide to skip happy hour to play with your kid.

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  Posted by listplanit Mon May 5, 2008 12:14pm PDT

  I have the same frustrations even though I am a work at home mom. I used to leave the house with the kids and not have any idea when I might be home again. Now, I carefully plan playdates and appointments so that I can still maximize my time to get things done. It definitely helps me to plot out blocks of time for each portion of my life: family, home, business. They each deserve my best efforts.

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