Expressed love doesn’t mean a damn thing when a Player’s actions speak otherwise.

OLD POST

I’ve been in a bit of a funky mood lately. It seems that finishing my woodworking projects has freed my mind up so that I could focus more clearly on one of my favorite passions; elevating my knowledge and awareness of love and relationships. Though I express this as being a passion, it’s also a bit of a stressor.

Writing my recent article/blog on Relational Completeness really showed me just how unparalleled I am with mainstream ideals. That article reads what it reads, but the thoughts that crossed my mind as I was writing it could have filled an entire book. I find that I’m constantly reminded of the seemingly endless reasons why so many relationships never really get started, or they fail shortly after getting started, or they later end up in divorce. But it seems that so many people refuse to acknowledge the fallacy of their ways.

Such fallacies are too numerous to be listed out here and now, but one of the more frequent fallacies I’ve seen demonstrated is that many people are constantly lying to theirselves about their inability to discern the difference between a player and someone who’s sincere. I’m sure there are many inexperienced people who really are unaware, but most of the time, I’m left with the strong impression that too many people really do know the difference, but would rather suffer the pains and drama of being played rather than endure the agonies of being alone and lonely. And then once they’ve been played, they tend to brush off taking responsibility for their own inadequacies by labeling the player a player. Frankly, I think many of these people have ultimately played theirselves and their use of the player was merely divisive.

I recently stated somewhere in a group forum thread that I believe the best teachers in life are those who consider theirselves students in the fields they’re trying to teach. In stating that, what I intentionally withheld was my beliefs in what makes the best student. There’s an expression I really like by an unknown author that reads “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” But when I look around, it seems that most people really aren’t ready to be that student when it comes to elevating their knowledge and awareness of love and relationships.

I believe that the best students in life are those who genuinely realize that knowledge is infinite, omnipotence is non-human, and a diploma is not final. I struggled with this for a while because I wanted to include some aspect of a God realization, or a well developed understanding of right and wrong. I decided to ignore that urge because in the long run, it felt more judgmental than anything. But when I consider the insane rate of relational failure that plagues our society, it’s really very hard for me not to judge.

Two nights ago, I started watching old reruns of Ally McBeal episodes. My ex-wife and I used to really enjoy this show, but in watching them now, I find myself disgusted with the insane degree of drama and dysfunctional behavior that this show demonstrates. Ally McBeal is a fictitious character and the show is comprised of exaggerated and fabricated dramatic plots played out by several characters rolls that are nothing but a bunch of blatant players. Unfortunately, I can look into the real world around me and pick out several people who could easily replicate the various dramatic characters of this show with their actual lives.

And then I got mad. The majority of all the characters of Ally McBeal are absolutely elitist snobs with God complexes that far exceed even the most toxic individuals we know throughout all these internet forums. And there they are, demonstrating the exact same degree of drama and dysfunctional behavior that exists in the sleaziest corner bars of no-named towns. Love, one of the most basic emotions we human beings are gifted with, and like the characters of Ally McBeal, most people, regardless of their social or income classes, regularly demonstrate their complete ignorance of what love really is. It really makes me wonder how some people justify or validate their eliticism.

Robert Downey Jr. plays character Larry Paul, one of Ally McBeal’s many flings. In an episode I watched last night, Larry Paul says to Ally McBeal, “A person will never know their capacity to love until they’ve had a child” as his character is preparing to move away to be closer to his son. During this episode, Larry Paul’s ex-wife comes on the scene and in a very heated and passionate embrace, they kissed. All the while, Larry is supposedly madly in love with Ally McBeal. Again, it’s a fictitious scene that could absolutely reflect the actual lives of many people around us.

I sit here and watch this nonsense on TV, and then I see the exact same reckless behavior in people’s actual lives, and people call this behavior love? HELL NO! You may have strong feelings for someone, you might even care deeply for them, but if you truly love them, then willingly getting sticky with another person is simply not going to happen. This is absolutely a perfect example where so many people confuse infatuation and/or lust with love.

“A person will never know their capacity to love until they’ve had a child”, this may sound good when spoken with a soft and eloquent voice, but it don’t mean a damn thing when their actions speak otherwise.

Wishing everyone a beautiful day!

Peace, Love and Harmony,,, Shawn