How would you deal with it? or how would you feel about it?

From the Community…

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  Posted by CANIS Thu Sep 3, 2009 9:27pm PDT

  Don't assume too much. One of his reasons for being so secretive is because of an over-reaction to his text-flirting.

  I text, e-mail, even snail mail flirt a lot, I'm a hopless flirt, always have been. I'm also about as close as I like to be involved in a one on one (monogomous), relationship. My current G.F. doesn't really care who I text or write to, she's just not that insecure.

  However, I have been involved with women who were just a bit too,..um,..unable to cope with the fact that I will always have mostly female friends, they are NOT involved with me, 90% at least never have and (now here's the important part), I'm not going to change who I am. Not for any body, not that I've met so far.

  As for my G.F., she's quite a flirt too, I'm o.k. with it.

  But then again, he could be playing you. and he's dicking around with everything that moves...Good Luck.

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  Posted by casey Thu Sep 3, 2009 10:22pm PDT

  i think he is messin around it not easy but if you cant even touch his phone is not good...all my friends that are going through the same thing is because of that phone and there boyfriend was cheatin on then but he might just be a flirt but i think he is messin around or hes thinkin bout doing it..

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  Posted by Constance Fri Sep 4, 2009 3:33am PDT

  I have been in the same situation and when I finally got to go through the phone it turned out that he had another girlfriend in another State where he does business. Once a guy starts being shady about stuff like that there is cause for alarm. Guys are simple creatures and its either something small or something VERY big!

  Wishing you the best of luck.

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  Posted by Constance Fri Sep 4, 2009 3:34am PDT

  I have been in the same situation and when I finally got to go through the phone it turned out that he had another girlfriend in another State where he does business. Once a guy starts being shady about stuff like that there is cause for alarm. Guys are simple creatures and its either something small or something VERY big!

  Wishing you the best of luck.

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  Posted by pena Fri Sep 4, 2009 7:53am PDT

  I am currently in the same situation and I think guys that dont want their phone to be touched, they are definetly cheating. thats what happen in my case and I cought him many times, he just ask for forgiveness and i come over it. but i just dont have that courage to leave him but I AM WORKING ON IT COS I KNOW I HAVE TO LEAVE HIM, HE IS NOT GOOD FOR ME

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  Posted by swt19dreams Fri Sep 4, 2009 4:58pm PDT

  Devil's advocate here. I hate my phone going through it's none of your business who I am texting or what for although if you say "hey, you are you texting" I'll tell them it's not a big deal to me but it's my phone not yours. I'm not going to go through his phone and I don't expect him to go through mine. I'll occasionally ask him who he's texting but whatever, not really a big deal. It's called trust. I have two guy friends who I've never done anything with and would never do anything with. We text flirtatiously back and forth and joke about hooking up. At the end we both know we'd never cheat or mess up our relationships with a guy. I'm also open with my boyfriend to. He knows who my guy friends are and why I would never do anything with them. He's slowly meeting them but the reason he hasn't met all of them is because they live out of state.

  Basically trust him and ask to meet these girls. If they are really friends then he'll introduce you to them no questions ask. If he's not cut him loose because all you are going to do is drive yourself and him nuts with jealousy and something tells me if he's not interested in introducing you to all his friends then you can do better.

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  Posted by Sharky Fri Sep 4, 2009 9:43pm PDT

  This is really more simple than us women and men like to admit. You love someone, I mean really want to be committed you don't play games. Your not being insecure because you want to be assured that your man or women is being faithful. Now with that being said, when it's right you shouldnt have to try so hard and if you are constantly having doubts and feelings that someone is being shady than it's probably not right. The reality is there are just some people who will never be satisfied without having a little attention/affection on the side, no matter how good you are to them and how much they may love you. It is important to recognize this and stop being in denial because you can very easlily blame yourself and always think your not good enough, when no one ever will be. Love yourself first and foremost and you will attract those who will love you.

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  Posted by Traza Sat Sep 5, 2009 11:16am PDT

  I had this issue one time. I say drop him. He may not be cheating, but his mind and heart are not there with you. I used to go through my X phone an he would get so mad. Thing is, If he didnt give me reason to question, I would have never ever thought to go through it. He was texting to his X an they were sending pic back an forth, after I found out he swore that he would stop talking to her because he loved me... turns out he changed her name in his phone to something that would not tip me off. After I broke up with him I was so angry because I felt like I was not enough for him. I was wrong, infact he is not good enough for me. I now have a wonderful man that could care less what I do with his phone and never gives me a reason to question his trust. My advice, drop him. He sounds very immature and not ready for what you have to offer. Beware, after this.... in the back of your mind you may always wonder what is in your new guys phone, be up front about this situation with him so you can work through this together.

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