MY MOM HAD OLD BOTTLES WITH SYRUP OF IPECAC AND I TOOK SUM TO MAKE ME PUKE AFTER EATING BUT NOW IF I CONSUME OVER 800 CALORIES I GET SO ANGRY WITH MYSELF THAT I HAVE TO GO INTO THE BATHROOM AND VOMIT IT BACK UP. I KNOW THIS IS A PROBLEM BUT IDK WHAT DO IF I SHOULD GET HELP OR IF THERE'S SUMTHING I CAN DO MYSELF. I'M 5'7 AND WEIGH 123LBS, BUT I HAVE AN OBSESSOIN I WANT TO BE SEVERLY UNDERWEIGHT, I'M JUST SO DISGUSTED WITH MYSELF I CAN'T PASS A MIRROR WITHOUT TURNING THE LIGHT OFF. IDK I THNK I HAVE TO BE THING CUZ MY MAMA ALWAYS SAID THAT I DON'T HAVE A PRETTY FACE AND IF I DON'T HAVE A PRETTY I'M NOT ALOUD TO GET OVERWEIGHT OR ELSE EVERYONE'LL HATE ME. SHE SAID THAT WHEN I WUZ ALOT YOUNGER BUT IDK IF THAT HAS SUMTHING TO WITH WHY I CAN'T STOP DOING THIS STUPID SH!T. i EXERCISE 4 TWO HOURS A DAY AND CONSUME ABOUT 700 CALORIES BUT IT'S NOT ENOUGH ANYMORE, I NEED TO STOP OBSESSING BUT IDK HOW.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
I USED TO BE BULIMIC BUT STILL CAN'T STOP OBSSESING OVER FOOD OR CALORIE INTAKE.
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Comments 1-2 of 2
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Posted by Sun Jul 26, 2009 9:22pm PDT
Report AbuseSeriously, U need to stop punishing yourself. The things of your past were not your fault. You continue to harbor your dark past and its taking a toll on your body and spirit. Drown out the harsh words of your mother and love u for u. Weightloss is addictive and ur getting caught up in a web of untruth. U are beautiful. Live for yourself and your son, not for others. Pray for deliverence out of the state of mind your're in and into a world of self-love and acceptance. I've had friends in similar predicaments as yours and I know your pain.
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Posted by Thu Aug 6, 2009 5:33am PDT
Report AbuseYou sound as if you are crying out for help but the person who is not hearing you is YOU.
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