The first time I laid eyes on him, I was like s---, that guy's hot, and then I realized I had 4 out of 7 classes with him, and I sit relatively close to him in all of them. We started talking and we really clicked.
So about Connor... He's kind of a jock. He was one of the only 3 freshman on the varsity hockey team, he's gorgeous as heck and pretty popular, but he's still really nice and talks to me all the time. He can be a jerk when he's showing off, but just being himself he's an absolute sweet heart and I completely trust him.
I'm not popular. I'm not some shy non social freak. I'm in the middle I guess. I'm real good friends with some of the very popular girls, and I'm friends with the non popular girls. I guess I'm average. I'm decent looking. All my friends are like damn girl your so pretty don't even worry about it. And it's not that I'm fishing for compliments, I just don't know what they see. I have straight brown hair, big green eyes, clear skin, shaped eye brows, long eye lashes and I'm good at my make up. I'm pretty thin but my boobs are only B cups, and I'm not that curvy, I wish I was though
So anyway about Connor. I like him so much. I'm not even gonna lie I've never liked a guy this much in my entire life. I pray for him every night, to make sure he's well and happy. In religion when we are supposed to think of God, I think of him. And late at night I listen to my ipod. I actually have a whole playlist of songs dedicated to how I feel about this guy. I love him. Not in a creepy way or an obsessed way. It's just, when he walks by, he's so flawless and perfect. And he's got this light about him I can't even explain it. And he's so god damn beautiful.
So he just broke up with his girlfriend, Megan. She lived in his town, so I never met her (we go to a private school and live in different towns). But, knowing him, she was probably beautiful just like him, and she was probably real sexy, because he only deserves the best. Well they broke up, I don't know who broke up with who though.
I know I don't have a chance. At least I don't think I do. He's always talking with his friend Brian about girls in math class. I don't really know the specifics but I hear a few erratic words like she, boobs, big, hot, my house, your house, hot girl, and I just know he's talking about the luckiest girl in the world. I just kind of wish he would see how much I love him, and that I'd do absolutely anything for him. I'd brake my back for that kid.
My problem, is I flirt, and I guess it's real obvious that I like him (hah but he's oblivious to that fact), but I'm terrified of rejection. I've had quite a few humiliating moments from being outright rejected in the rudest way and the last thing I want to jeprodize is my friendship with Connor. The thing is though, he never really texts me. I have to text him first (though he did get my number from one of my friends, desperately needing to know what the history homework was even though he's got a bunch of friends in my class). But I don't know. I've never had a boyfriend before so I can't even contemplate having a guy I like, like me. And I don't even know what he looks for in girls. I know he thinks singing is hot and I'm damn good at that (but he doesn't know I sing I'm going to surprise pretty much the whole school on April 3rd theres an in school concert and it's a song that I rock at!!!!) And he thinks its cool that I play guitar, but I feel like, there are such prettier, popular girls who like him who he could go out with, why would he settle for me?
The thought that he might actually like me is gradually waning. But maybe theirs still hope? And tips? Advice?? I really need it!!!
Thanks :)
