How do you cope and or move on with life when your not sure how? my
husband has been gone about three months now, living with married
friends. We share one child so we still communicate almost on a
daily basis, the first few weeks of our separation was fighting and
then talking, I have said all I can, have done all I can to assure
my love and devotion to him, he hasn't done much the same
because he doesn't want to give me a false sense of hope. He is
gone deciding weather or not we can be together he is deciding this
not based on love or commitment but by our compatibility. I am
not the same woman he began dating, i attest this to growing up and
going from a single mother household to a couple with 7 children,
he has 5 kids i have one and I had a baby a year ago, I ended up
with post p depression and to make a long story short we said and
did alot of things that hurt eachother. I have for the last 8
months been to counseling and the doctor and I am doing very well,
and am a completely different person then I was. I can't help
feeling though that if he decides to return, if I have a relapse
will he be able not to be there for me again and leave me, I dont
want to have to worry about this the rest of my life. he has a very
close minded opinion about depression. I have been completely happy
with him in all other aspects of life til this point. I feel as
though a part of me has been ripped apart, i thought he was my soul
mate. Every day that passes it makes me feel less and less about
myself while he's gone deciding weather i am good enough to be
with or worth the trouble, atleast thats what this makes me feel
like. we have been best friends for 12 years been together for 6
and been married barely a year.
If I show being upset at all about waiting he tells me that if
he's not worth waiting for I dont have to wait. I am at the
point where Im not sure how to live anymore, what to do with life
when I don't know where its going. well im done venting. I have
a weekend of excitement planned of cleaning and putting plastic on
my windows.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Lost In Limbo
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Comments 1-6 of 6
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Posted by Fri Oct 9, 2009 10:15am PDT
Report Abusemy best freind has that same problem he works driving truck trying to make money to support his famliy and is wife cheats on him that have been to ghter for eight years
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Posted by Fri Oct 9, 2009 10:37am PDT
Report AbuseSounds like you should just move on. I don't think you should wait for him. There are so many really nice guys out there that will treat you with more love and respect. I would move on and not even look back.
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Posted by Fri Oct 9, 2009 10:37am PDT
Report AbuseSounds like you should just move on. I don't think you should wait for him. There are so many really nice guys out there that will treat you with more love and respect. I would move on and not even look back.
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Posted by Mon Oct 12, 2009 7:57am PDT
Report AbuseGina, I am going to share with you something that I do when I feel anxious, worried or stressed over situations. I ask myself, "What can I change about this situation?"
Was there anyway you could have stopped the PPD from occuring? NO, but you realized something was wrong and sought help. You had a choice to get help and you did. You had the ability to control the situation and the outcome.
Is there anything you can do to change someone else's close mindedness? NO
Can you change his choices, (he decided to move out,) the past, and no matter how horrible you were or were accused of being? NOPE
So what he does is BEYOND YOUR CONTROL. Honey, do you know what, when something is beyond your control, there is nothing you can do about it. That is what is so great about admitting, "Man, this is beyond my control." Because now you can forget about it. You dont need to spend another moment thinking about it. It is BEYOND YOUR CONTROL.
Now this is when you throw your hands up in the air, laugh and say, "This is beyond my control, YOU take it." Think of it as a gift to the Creator. If the powers that created this universe cant handle it for you.............well that just isnt possible, IS IT? Give what you can not control or fix to the only Power that probably can.. And forget it. Because you have to start concentrating on what you can control honey.
You can make your home and life full of happiness and joy for your children and yourself. YOU can get your butt up and say, "Bump it, I am going to have fun. I am going to smile, snuggle, play and love my life and make it better."
So remember, if it is beyond your control, you really are set free not imprisoned, so you walk away smiling. OK?
Hugs to you and yours,(and I know that 8 month is probably trying to crawl all over the house.....lol My granddaughter is 8 months and crawling.)
Emma Mae
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Posted by Wed Oct 21, 2009 9:17am PDT
Report Abusewow !!! eama i agree !!! and gina you have to live your life with or with out im and you cna only change the things you can control so that is what you should consertrat on dont you think.. i do think geting help is astep in the right drections !!!
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Posted by Mon Nov 9, 2009 11:23am PST
Report AbuseGina,
I assume by your recent posts that you've been doing ok. If you want to understand men better I suggest the book "Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know" by Barbara DeAngelis PhD. You might be able to get it at the library. If not, it's in paperback and only a few dollars. It is a manual for living successfully with a man. I read it after my divorce and it was too late to save that marriage. I have a wonderful new husband and that book set me straight. I didn't make the same mistakes twice and it has paid off handsomely. Good luck, dear.
Mrs. B
Comments 1-6 of 6
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