Love is easy, relationships are hard.

Falling in love was one of the easiest and scariest things that has ever happened to me.  I tried to fight it, so expected I was terrified.  No matter how much I just wanted to run away from it I fell and loved every moment after we both said I love you. 

Relationship, thats the hard part.  Trying to be two people and one person all at the sametime.  Cant just be how will this effect me but will this be good for us?

When I came to this point a few days ago I realized that my relationship is worth it all.  Yeah there are moments when I want to choke him, and I find him to be to controling.  Moments when he finds me childish and feels like the has to be like a parent instead of partner to me.  We balance one another out perfectly.  He is one of those cold, loner, bring on the next girl kind of guys, just a real bad boy with a rowdy past and just an all out jerk.  He is kind, loyal, and only says I love you when he means it.  I am soft, sweet, a smart ass, and I dont hold my opinions back just because someone doesnt like it.  I love him.  When his friends met me it was 100% WTF when my friends met him it was oh no.  I guess you could say one of the many examples of the Good Girl and the Bad Boy. 

Last night my Lovely gave me a look that I havent seen in months (we have been seprated for the last four months) I was playing with my lemon pudding (like I said I tend to be childish) I was drawing hearts and faces into a plate of lemon pudding with a straw.  I noticed everything got quiet around me, I looked up at Lovely and his eyes were just shineing and his smile was tender and loving everyone else began to laugh he just held my hand. 

Lovely is in school right now to work on Harleys he loves motorcycles.  So when I go back home it wont be until April before I get to see him.  People do ask me how do you know he wont cheat on you.  Truth of the matter is I cant say he will or he wont.  I know that he will be tempted just as much as I will be while we are not together.  I do trust him to tell me that he doesnt want to be with me anymore.  Thats all I can say, do I believe he is going to cheat no I dont believe he will cause just thinking about him doing it hurts so bad that that I feel a pain in chest. 

We are not always happy I would be lying if I said we never fought.  Our relationship isnt picture perfect, I would be scared if it was.  I know we will have to work hard the rest of our lives but it is worth that moment, when you lay down beside each other and you just feel and think theres no where else I would rather be.