Tuesday, December 1, 2009

My Husband - Banker turned Stay at Home Dad

By Michelle Cutter

Even with the hope that now President Obama inspires, I have to say that I've never felt such trepidation about the future.  I was brought up in a middle class family, where both my parents were teachers.  My sister and I were taught that if we worked and studied hard, we could achieve anything that we wanted.  I worked and studied all through high-school, college and graduate school and I felt that I was coming into my own professionally, financially and personally. In 2006 both my husband and I were working at good jobs - working hard, contributing to our organizations and growing our nest egg for the future.

In 2007 we gave birth to our son, who is the light of our lives.  Obviously, your responsibilities change when you have a child and so we decided that we would live off my husband's income and I would stay home.  It was a difficult transition for me after having worked for so long, but I was overall happy with the decision, knowing that I would be back to work in some capacity within a couple of years.   I was home for approximately a year, when the unthinkable happened (now, an everyday occurance) - my husband got laid off.  After a couple of months of monitoring the market and realizing that jobs in banking wouldn't be bouncing back within the forseeable future, I started looking to reenter the workforce and luckily had a couple of job offers.  My husband is now a SAHD and has been for the past 5 months.

Selfishly, I have to say that it's a comfort knowing my son is home with my husband.  I much prefer that either one of us be home with him, if financially possible.  It's been difficult trying to live off of my salary only, but we seem to be managing.  Our son is thriving.  My husband, after the initially rough transition to SAHD status, is also doing well.  He's still looking for a job (you can see his blog on the Wall Street Journal website at http://blogs.wsj.com/laidoff/), but is also considering other options for work.  He's so much more comfortable with our son and really KNOWS him now - even better than I do.  My husband also now fully appreicates how hard it is to be the primary care-giver and I understand how much pressure there is in being the only one bringing home a pay check.

I'm not sure what the future will hold for us....what jobs we will be doing, how we will manage childcare, where we will live, etc., and I'm very nervous about all of it.  The next few years will certainly be challenging on all levels for all of us.  However, I do know that we'll survive and be stronger for it.

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Comments 1 of 1
  • danas's Avatar
    Posted by danas Fri May 8, 2009 10:11am PDT

    Hi,

    My name is Dana Squilla and I'm a journalist for FIRST magazine. I'm currently doing research on a story about women who have gone back to work after their husbands have been laid off, and how the husbands stay at home with the children--and the benefits of the switch.

    I came across your blog and would to speak with you more about your experience. If you could let me know whether or not you're interested, that'd be great! You can contact me through email at dsquilla@bauerpublishing.com.

    Thanks and looking forward to hearing back from you!

    Best,

    Dana

    dsquilla@bauerpublishing.com

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