Rude Sex

 *Sigh* It's gotten so bad that I have to blog about it.  Week #2 of being a Mega b---- All-Star and it's all because I ain't getting enough. Never mind not getting off, if I could just have some....I feel like an orphan on some sad little back street in London, holding up my plate in the soup line "Please sir, may I have some more?" *bottom lip quiver..Bambi eyes...BIGGER Bambi eyes* hmmm...not really working.
Okay, where shall I start? I'm reading a book on marriage, I've been asked, I said yes, it's not my first time. So, just trying to say 'I do' one more time. Somewhere in the book it says to not withhold sex from your spouse "as it will create insecure feelings and a continuing battle of wills" Like, you wouldn't have sex with me, so I'm gonna get you back, and then you have to get me back, lots of hurt feelings, etc.
My sweet fiance' (say it with a lil' bit o' sarcasm) has a tendency to have wandering hands while he is sleeping. He starts up one night about two weeks ago, annoying cause I had just fallen asleep. I know from experience that this will go on all night if not 'taken care of'. Usually it leads to me being frustrated and cranky in the morning, so I decide that I'm gonna help him out so that I, so that he can sleep better. Five minutes later he's sleeping like a baby (Am I hearing sympathetic chorteling?! Feel my pain people!)
 In the morning, my usual mood of unsatisfied nothing is replaced by a 'feel good' charitable loving feeling. I had unselfishly honored my soon-to-be husband. This mood temporarily set back when he playfully asks "where you horny last night?" Uh, no, you sorry b------ , you were. *Disbelief smothers his face* and then my charitable act is downplayed because I have to explain what I did for him and got effing nothing in return, and how I didn't mind doing it for him.
This is were the rudeness begins: two weeks later and I'm still frustrated. After week one I actually explained to him how I felt about being forgotten, just because he was satisfied for the time being. (He's one of those guys that can go a while on a sex encounter...not the first guy like this I've been with) Still nothing. I had to take care of it myself last night, which I'd been not doing because 'it bothers him'. It was a hollow victory :P.
This is so unbelievably rude to me!!  I don't have the State Farm logo tattooed on my a** (You know, there when you need us..etc) It makes me feel like I'm taking care of everything and getting nothing in return. I've gotten myself into such a two-year old tantrum, that I don't even want him touching me now. This morning, after I'd taken care of it already the night before, he was ready to go. Well my pride says that it just can't let it go. So, no, I don't want to play with you. *stomps away, nose in air* I can't help but feel a little bit smug as I get out of bed leaving you sadly holding your erection. Silently, gleefully, I had to laugh to myself.
My conscience says that I should dutifully re-read the chapters that specifically say that this is bad behaviour. Gently I nudge the book under my bed.
Here is a list of other rude things:
1. talking to the cat during sex
2. farting even if we are done
3. leaving me hanging and rolling over to go to sleep
4. leaving me hanging and snoring loudly (it's kinda like you're rubbing it in)
5. acknowledging that you know I'm horny and then sadistically doing nothing about it
6. starting foreplay and then falling asleep (don't care if you are tired, play the safe card and just go to sleep in the first place)
7. not even offering to help me finish (I would never make you)

Sadly, I could go on, but he's stomping around the house waiting for me to go to bed with him. He had to put the sheets on the bed by himself (wave small victory flag)  He's already seen that I am blogging and that's never good for him. See? He knows, and yet....nothing. *Sigh*