Sometimes upsets bring music/ Joaquin Phoenix

     Well this week started off pretty badly but I did find inspiration to write a new song because of it. I guess in the music business you have to be prepared for a whole lot of upsets. I wasn't prepared. I'm a sensitive person so the news that I got this week really hit me hard. I think I was confused more than anything else. I was invited to perform in a show back in October the week before Halloween. I was very proud of this invite. I felt that I was being accepted into the underground circle and that the guy giving the show felt my music was worthy enough to be heard. I never got to perform that night. I practiced for two months, spent money, told all my family and friends, etc. Not only did my so called family and friends all disappoint me, but I also got jerked at the show. A lot of foul things went down that night. Way too much for me to get into but lets just say I did not leave there a happy camper. The person who ran the show told me I would be guaranteed a second or third spot in his next show which is next month. I didn't get a spot. Not only that but some guy who in my opinion didn't deserve to have a spot got a spot. Camburn got burned again. I was crying, I was hitting walls, and I was cussing. Lol, I sort of have to start over again looking for places to peform. I was going to the flow sessions in AC but Dj Able gave them up after six and a half years of giving them. I did perform there and it was great even though I made an error. I really saw the crowd get into my old school groove. It was really cool. Usually I keep my eyes closed behind my glasses so I won't get nervous because they're staring at me (or at least I feel like they are). This time I watched and I really did see people reacting well to my song "Bringin' That". Ah there was even some "Oohs" and "Aahs" during "Gangsta Superman". That's where I made the mistake. I think I was so thrown off that people were listening to me that I just blipped up. I had one hell of a redemption with the second song though. It was all good.
     Anyway, I took all that anger and hurt and frustration I had and wrote an entire song a few days ago. It's called Diva Dust. It will play on my myspace profile if anyone wants to hear it: http://www.myspace.com/camburnspits.
     Gonna be working on some  more stuff too. Time to get my second cd out there. In my first cd I was still shy and unsure and just starting to come out of my shell from all the abuse I had been through. A lot of songs lacked enthusiasm because I was just so shaken by all that I had been through. I was timid and I didn't project very well. I'm changing now. I'm starting to have a little more confidence in myself and I'm feeling more courageous. The music is getting better. One day I will write the song that takes the world by storm. One day before I die someone will notice me.
     You know who I would love to work on a song with? Sounds strange but Joaquin Phoenix. You know, uber talented actor turned rapper? Everyone thought he was either crazy or playing some kind of game. Remember that? Well I'm one of those people happen to think that he is serious. I would love to work on a song with him. I bet Joaquin got some hot fire for us all. It's messed up that his peers were making fun of him and stuff. Suppose he comes out with some real ill sh!t. It's possible. Anyway, I wish I could ask him. He's probably say no because he's a celebrity and all but if I could I would. Later. Gotta do some actual work today. Btw, we came up with a "genre" for our type of music. Post modern old school hip hop. I like that.