Testing

I like taking quizzes. I really love those personality quizzes because usually they are right, or those "which character would you be", those are fun too. But what I don't like is when friends test you.

I think we've all been tested or have tested someone at least once in our lives. I've tested my friends to see if they would come to my aid if I were depressed or something like that, but only if I could really count on them. I didn't hurt their feelings I didn't manipulate them I just wanted to be sure. Now having done this I only do it once and then never again. But I have friends that are constantly testing me.

Take Luna for example. If you looked up the word masochist in the dictionary you'd find her picture there. I know mention her and Dallas's millionth break up. I was there for the girl because, even though she was stupid enough to date the a---- , I'm her friend. Strangely enough I'm her friend. Anyway she always has to do something stupid and I'm usually the one that bails her out.

So last night she IMs me. She tells me that she went down to the gas station near her apartment to get something. She tells me that these two guys ask her to talk to them and she does. They aparnetly start telling her some lewd stuff and she walks away. She tells me she is scared and that she doesn't know what to do. So I ask her some questions. Are they still looking at your window? Do you have your door locked? When are your roommates coming back? I was assessing the situation trying to find out what her options where. Maybe these guys were just messing with her and then they looked at her apartment to see if they had scared her. Or they could have been some really bad guys. I didn't know. So I'm trying to make her feel better and then I ask her if she would feel better if I go up there or if she would want to stay at my place. She tells me no and that Dallas had been at her apartment the whole time.

I was pissed. I just logged off because I knew I was going to cuss her out. One because she was still with Dallas even though she promised that she would stop seeing him, and two because she was testing me to see how I would react. My crazy psycho ex IDS Girl did that to me all the time and I hate it.

Also my friend, Seth, has been really ticking me off lately. When I went to go take this test at my soon to be college I asked him to come along. Mostly because I didn't want to go by myself, but also because I wanted to show him the campus so that he could find his way around when he comes to visit. Plus I wanted to show off my awesome dorm. He tells me that he might be able to make it but there was something he wanted to do that night with the youth group. I tell him we'll be home in plenty of time before it starts, but he still isn't sure. I tell him to text me when he makes up his mind.

I get a text at eight in the morning with him saying "hey when you go to that test thing could you drop off the third season of Buffy? I can not end like that!". I am furious. He couldn't just say "hey man, I don't think I'm going to go" he has to say "when you go". So I did go. Alone. Did great on the test and everything and got home before five-thirty. I whine to my friend, Angel, because she's really been the only one there for me. I tell her about Seth.
 
I put on my status on facebook that I had done real well on my test and that I had gone in alone and that I couldn't wait to start school. Seth comments "...rub it in". Angel sprung into action and made a very subtle comment along the lines of: "Congrats, Jay. I'm so proud of you. I really wish I could have gone with you instead of you going alone. A real friend would have gone with you. Love you, Jay :)". I give her an "I love you too" and Seth says "...yeah thanks". Like this is all my fault.I text him to ask him what the hell is up and he texts back an hour later with good new for himself. He tells me to forget his feelings for a minute and listen to what he has to say.

His news was really pointless and I was too mad to care. His feelings? I got a crappy blow off and he's upset? I didn't talk to him for the rest of the week because I was temping at a few places and finally when I saw him I just acted fine. I've already accepted the fact that Seth will never understand me or my problems because everytime I try it just blows up in my face.

But now I know he's testing his friends. His facebook says "does anybody care? hello? anyone? fine! *goes into anti-social shell*" Seth has a phone. If he feels down then he should text a friend and say "hey man...I'm kind of down. Do you want to hang out or something?" The world doesn't automatically know when a person is depressed. Yet we, and I've been guilty of this too, sit and wait for a people to check up on us. The only way that will happen is if we try making contact and if we get ignored then we move on to the next person and if there is no person we try and make ourselves happy.

I don't know. Honestly I am tired of all the tests. If I'm not considered a good friend by now then I guess I'll never will be.

Throwing away the test,

Icarus