Thanksgiving Dinner Party Seating Strategies

<em><img alt="Tara Donne" title="Tara Donne" src="http://img.timeinc.net/realsimple/i/p/Nov06/1106_life_seatingrules_11.jpg" width="180" align="left" height="240">Host a lively holiday dinner with these simple rules for placing different personality types around your table</em> <p>With its mishmash of friends, family, and tagalongs, Thanksgiving dinner brings a host of seating challenges -- like whom to put next to Uncle Harvey&#39;s new, much younger girlfriend or where to place the person who wants to talk about only one thing: herself. Experts explain how to create a no-fail seating plan in two easy steps, as well as address all your other dinner-party dilemmas. (Do you make a kids&#39; table? What if conversation stalls?) With a little guidance -- and grace -- you&#39;ll make every guest feel as if he has the best seat in the house. </p><p><strong><em>Step 1: Guess Who&#39;s Coming to Dinner?</em></strong><br> Even your dearest family and friends have their idiosyncrasies. Start by noting each guest&#39;s personality traits (eight are described on the following pages, beginning with the host). </p><p><strong><em>Step 2: Put Them in Their Place</em></strong><br> So, you&#39;ve worked out who will click and who will clash. But how do you put all the pieces -- or people -- together? Use the printable cards on page ten to arrange (and rearrange) your dinner guests based on their personality types. </p><p><strong><em>Still Have Questions?</em></strong><br> A party planner&#39;s job is never done. But the quick and easy answers to common dinner-table problems on page 11 will banish the hassles of being a hostess and allow you to enjoy the evening, too. </p><p><strong>Learn How to <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/package/0,21861,1841009-1136440,00.html?xid=yshidinpa1">Prevent Family Feuds</a> at <em>Real Simple</em>.</strong> </p><p><strong><em>The Host</em></strong><br> Consider yourself the evening&#39;s conductor. Sit close enough to the kitchen that you can clear plates, change courses, and uncork wine without disturbing people. It&#39;s also the host&#39;s job to manage problem guests.<br> <strong>Seat Next to:</strong> The kitchen, the Introvert, the Diva.<br> <strong>Avoid:</strong> A cohost. </p><p><em>&quot;Your guests will take cues from you. If you&#39;re laughing, talking to people, and having a good time, they will, too.&quot;</em><br> -- Sue Fox, author of <em>Etiquette for Dummies</em> (For Dummies, $22, www.amazon.com). </p><p><strong><em>The Diva</em></strong><br> The Diva always finds a way to steer conversation back to herself. (&quot;You like lettuce? That is so weird! I love lettuce!&quot;) The Diva works well next to the Introvert -- that way, the shy guy doesn&#39;t have to make uncomfortable small talk.<br> <strong>Seat Next to:</strong> the Introvert, the Charmer.<br> <strong>Avoid:</strong> the Entertainer. </p><p><em>&quot;Put this person at the end of the table, where she won&#39;t monopolize the entire conversation.&quot;</em><br> -- Marlene Holloway, a San Diego-based etiquette expert </p><p><strong><em>The Gossip Fodder</em></strong><br> Your guests can&#39;t stop talking about this person and his scandalous divorce/court case/ dating habits. So keep him comfortable. Avoid seating him next to someone who might judge or question him.<br> <strong>Seat Next to:</strong> the Host, the Charmer, the Outsider.<br> <strong>Avoid:</strong> the Politico. </p><p><em>&quot;I always want a person with a juicy story to sit by me. I want to know everything!&quot;</em><br> -- Nigella Lawson, host of the new Food Network series <em>Nigella Feasts</em> </p><p><strong>See <em>Real Simple</em>&#39;s <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/package/0,21861,1841009-1673240,00.html?xid=yshidinpa2">Trouble-Free Thanksgiving</a>.</strong> </p><p><strong><em>The Introvert</em></strong><br> She makes more eye contact with the whole baked red snapper than with the guy across the table. Seat her next to the Charmer. The Gossip Fodder also works well, since the Introvert is too shy to ask questions. Never seat her next to the Outsider. Bor-ing!<br> <strong>Seat Next to:</strong> the Host, the Charmer, the Gossip Fodder.<br> <strong>Avoid:</strong> the Outsider, the Politico. </p><p><em>&quot;If someone is unforthcoming at a dinner party, I&#39;ll feel less stressed if I sit next to him and bear the brunt of it.&quot;</em><br> -- Nigella Lawson, host of the new Food Network series <em>Nigella Feasts</em> </p><p><strong><em>The Charmer</em></strong><br> The Charmer could make delightful conversation with an ice sculpture. He will eat -- and adore -- everything you put in front of him. In a crisis, he will help you remove the steak sauce from your mother-in-law&#39;s silk blouse or put out a kitchen fire.<br> <strong>Seat Next to:</strong> Anyone.<br> <strong>Avoid:</strong> the Host. </p><p><em>&quot;If you don&#39;t have friends like this, make them.&quot;</em><br> -- Ted Allen, food and wine connoisseur of Bravo&#39;s <em>Queer Eye</em>. </p><p><strong><em>The Politico</em></strong><br> The more controversial the topic, the more this guest wants to talk about it. Debating stem-cell research and national security can be tricky, but a good Politico keeps things lively. Just rein him in if he veers toward dangerous territory.<br> <strong>Seat Next to:</strong> the Diva, the Entertainer, the Host.<br> <strong>Avoid:</strong> the Introvert, the Gossip Fodder. </p><p><em>&quot;Be alert enough to keep the conversation topics moving. It&#39;s OK to interrupt this person time and time again to change the subject.&quot;</em><br> -- Nathalie Dupree, cookbook author and host of PBS&#39;s <em>Nathalie Dupree Entertains</em> </p><p><strong><em>The Entertainer</em></strong><br> He always has something to offer a crowd. Maybe it&#39;s a talent or an interesting job. (&quot;Tell me about your work as a rodeo clown, Tom.&quot;) He&#39;s great at commanding a room, but he&#39;s not overbearing like the Diva. Pair him with the Gossip Fodder, who can let the Entertainer take center stage.<br> <strong>Seat Next to:</strong> the Gossip Fodder, the Introvert.<br> <strong>Avoid:</strong> the Diva, the Host. </p><p><em>&quot;If the stories are good and everyone else is interested, let him talk.&quot;</em><br> -- Nathalie Dupree, cookbook author and host of PBS&#39;s <em>Nathalie Dupree Entertains</em> </p><p><strong><em>The Outsider</em></strong><br> This could be the new love interest of another guest or an unexpected tagalong. The honest truth? You&#39;d prefer she wasn&#39;t there. Break the traditional rules and seat her next to the person who brought her.<br> <strong>Seat Next to:</strong> the Charmer, the Host, the person&#39;s companion.<br> <strong>Avoid:</strong> the Introvert. </p><p><em>&quot;Probably the most nervous guest at your party. Seat him next to someone warm and nice, like the Charmer.&quot;</em><br> -- Marlene Holloway, a San Diego–based etiquette expert. </p><p><strong>More from <em>Real Simple</em>:<br> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/package/0,21861,1841009-1555528-11,00.html?xid=yshidinpa3">Solutions to Dinner Party Seating Problems</a><br> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/package/0,21861,1841009-1549093,00.html?xid=yshidinpa4">How to Fix 10 Common Thanksgiving Problems</a><br> <a rel="nofollow" href="http://www.realsimple.com/realsimple/package/0,21861,1560876-1124613,00.html?xid=yshidinpa5">Alternative Ways to Dress Up a Table</a></strong> </p>