WHERE DO I START...... HMMMMM.... OK. I FIRST SAW HIM ABOUT 2 ALMOST 2/1/2 YEARS AGO AT THE PLACE I WAS WORKING..... HE WALKED IN TALL LIGHT SKINNED SHORT FADE.... EYES WANDERING ABOUT THE ROOM AND THEY CAUGHT MINE.... MOST BEAUTIFUL GUY ID EVER SEEN. HE WAS I GUESS YOU COULD SAY ON MY TEAM AT WORK. WE NEVER EVER TALKED BUT ID ALWAYS CATCH HIM STARING AT ME..... I WAS MESMERIZED BY HIM AND DEEP INSIDE I WANTED TO TALK TO HIM AND HAD THE BIGGEST CRUSH BUT I NEVER DID ANYTHING OR SAID A WORD. EVENTUALLY SOMEHOW WE STARTED TALKING. HE'S A REAL FUNNY GUY SO HE ALWAYS HAD BE CRACKING UP..... I NOTICE THAT ONCE HE AND I STARTED TALKING MORE WE CONNECTED HE WAS LIKE NO OTHER. BUT OF COURSE I WAS WITH SOMEONE AT THE TIME SO THATS ANOTHER REASON WHY I NEVER ACTED UPON MY FEELINGS FOR HIM.... SO I DECIDED TO PUSH MY FEELINGS FOR HIM IN THE BACK OF MY HEART AND JUST BE FRIENDS WITH HIM BECAUSE I COULDNT TAKE IT ANY FURTHER ANYWAY. HE DISAPPEARED FROM WORK FOR A WHILE SO KINDA AT THAT POINT I WAS ABLE TO LEAVE MY FEELINGS FOR HIM BEHIND..... ALL OF A SUDDEN ONE DAY HE SHOWED UP AGAIN.... FROM THEN ON WE EXCHANGED MYSPACE INFO AND I EVENTUALLY STOPPED WORKING AT THE PLACE... HE STAYED THERE FOR WHILE AND WE JUST CONVERSED THROUGH MYSPACE.... AS LIFE WOULD HAVE IT WE LOST TOUCH FOR A WHILE... BUT I NEVER EVER STOPPED THINKING ABOUT HIM..... I DIDNT THINK HE LIKED ME ANYWAY SO I JUST LET IT GO. THEN ONE DAY I GET A MYSPACE FROM HIM. THIS IS AT LEAT A YEAR AND HALF AFTER WE LOST TOUCH I WAS REALLY HAPPY AND WE CHATTED A BIT.. MY FEELING FOR HIM CAME BACK..... THOUGH I BELIEVE THEY JUST NEVER LEFT..... I WAS GOING THROUGH A BIT OF A ROUGH TIME IN MY LIFE AND HE WAS THERE FOR ME CONSOLING ME, TELLING ME TO KEEP MY HEAD UP, WRITING ME ALMOST EVERYDAY REALLY LONG INSPIRATIONAL MESSAGES ON MYSPACE.... MY FEELINGS JUST GOT EVEN DEEPER FOR HIM STILL I DIDNT SAY A WORD. HE TOLD ME THAT LATER ON IN THE YEAR HED BE MOVING AND HE WNATED TO SEE ME AND SPEND TIME WITH ME BEFORE HE LEFT.. HE SAID I HAD A WHILE BEFORE HE WAS TO MOVE BUT WANTED ME TO KNOW. SO I BRUSHED IT OFF... WENT MY OWN WAY STILL THINKING HE DIDNT LIKE ME LIKE I LIKED HIM...... FINALLY THE DAY CAME ABOUT 6-8 MONTHS LATER AND I GOT A MESSAGE ON MYSPACE FROM HIM SAYING HED BE LEAVING IN A FEW WEEKS AND NEEDED TO SEE M BEFORE HE LEFT.. SO WE STARTED TO MAKE PLANS.... HE ENDED UP COMING TO MY CURRENT JOB AND SPENT TIME WITH ME ON MY LUNCH BREAK... SEEING HIM AGAIN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2YEARS WAS AMAZING. HE WAS EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THEN THE FIRST TIME I EVER LAID EYES UPON HIM.. HIS HAIR WAS LONGER HE LOOKED A LITTLE TALLER BUT I WASNT PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO THAT I WAS JUST HAPPY TO SEE. HE GAVE ME A HUG AND ITS LIKE WE BOTH KIND OF LINGERED A BIT DURING THE PARTING OF THE HUG BUT QUICKLY PULLED AWAY AFTER THE OTHER POERSON DID..... IT WAS LIKE OLD TIMES. LIKE WE NEVER PARTED. WE LAUGHED AND TALKED AND GAZED AT EACH OTHER. THE WAY HE LOOKED INTO MY EYES WAS BREATHTAKING..... AFTER HE LEFT WE TEXTED TIL I GOT HOME. AND HE CALLED ME.. WE TALKED FOR ALMOST 2 HOURS ON THE PHONE.. EVERYDAY AFTER THAT WE TALKED EVRYDAY IF NOT BY PHONE BY TEXT.. IM NOT MUCH OF A PHONE PERSON SO WE MAINLY TEXTED BUT HED CALL ME IF WE WERE SETTING UP A TIME TO MEET. WE SAW EACHOTHER ALOT LEADING UP TO THE DAY HE WAS LEAVING. WE HAD SPENT SO MUCH TIME TOGETHER I DIDNT HAVE A CHANCE TO FULLY GRASP MY FEELINGS FOR HIM OR HOW STRONG THEY HAD BECOME FOR HIM... HIS KISSES JUST TOTALLY GOT ME. THE CONVERSATIONS WED ENGAGE IN WERE ON A DEEP INTELLUCTUAL LEVEL AND I LOVE AND LOVED THAT ABOUT HIM. OUT OF ALL THE TIME WE SPENT TOGETHER HE NEVER TRIED TO MAKE MOVE ON ME...... NOW HE'S MOVED AND WEVE TALKED SINCE HE LEFT WEVE TEXTED BUT I CANT HELP BUT THINK IN THE BACK OF MY MIND WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED LONG AGO IF ID HAVE JUST SPENT TIME WITH HIM BEFORE HE WAS LEVAING IF I HAD JUST TOLD HIM HOW I FELT FOR HIM........ I WROTE HIM A LETTER WITH MY FEELINGS BUT I WAS TOO SCARED TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT TO HIM AND HE DIDNT SAY ANYTHING AFTER READING IT SO I BELIEVE I LOST MY CHANCE TO AT LEAST BE HIS LADY..... TODAY MY FEELINGS FOR HIM ARE STRONGER THAN EVER.. I CAN ONLY WONDER WHY I DIDNT SPEAK UP LONG AGO.... IT SO HAR DFOR ME TO TALK TO HIM LIKE IM NOT DYING INSIDE FROM WANTING HIM NEXT TO ME. OR EVERYTIME ANY OTHER GUY TRIED TO TALK TO ME THEY DONT EVEN COMPARE THEY DONT STIMULATE MY MIND LIKE HE DOES AND I THINK THATSH WHY I CNAT LET GO... EVEN THOUGH IM TRYING VERY HARD TO GET THIS LOVE SICK FEELING OUT OF MY CHEST IT JUST WONT GO AWAY.IM ACTUALLY GOING TO VISIT HIM NEXT WEEKEND.... AND ONCE AGAIN ILL HAVE TO SUCK IN MY FEELINGS OF NOTHING BUT LOVE AND RESPECT AND ADMIRATION FOR HIM IN..... THIS CANT BE GOOD FOR MY HEALTH LOL...... JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST PLEASE FEEL FREE TO COMMENT