Vampires, Werewolves, and Slayers ....Oh My! Paranormal Romance Fatigue.

I loves me some smutty vampire books as much as the next soccer frau but I have to admit that at this juncture, I suffer from major paranormal romance fatigue. Ever since the advent of the ever-sparkling vampires of Twilight emerged, a once dormant and rather small genre has exploded beyond anything that I can comprehend. Even though lots of other authors have been writing supernatural-based books long before Smeyer began scribing her dreams of Edward, everyone seems to forget that she didn't invent the art of vampires and other preternatural children of the night making sweet love. Thus because she did write these gag-worthy books, a whole new crop of books, tv shows, movies, comics, ect have been coming out of the woodwork.

Please stop the madness.

The Vampire as an absolute killing creature with little use for humans as more than food was done better by Stephen King, Joss Whedon, and Max Shrek. Demon and vampire slayers were done before and done better by Joss Whedon and Laurell K. Hamilton. Vampire/human relations were done before and done better by Joss Whedon, Poppy Z. Brite, and Laurell K. Hamilton. The broody vampire who seeks redemption was done better by Ann Rice and Joss Whedon. Basically, my fangbanging fans, Joss Whedon pwned the entire genre a full decade before this eternally ballooning cloud of undead lust.

Werewolves have been reduced to pining woobies. Werewolves used to be nasty creatures who'd eat you and not in that good way. They didn't have human consciousness and they certainly didn't have the proper equipment for healthy copulation. They were killing machines. Period. Suddenly, they are sexy creatures who lust after human women. The common plot bunny is that a male werewolf needs a human female to breed with because werewolf females are always unable to carry their pups to term. Another common plot is that all werewolves are sexually-driven creatures who can't control their libidos during the full moon. Instead of transforming and killing something like in the days of yore, they gather in clubs and mate to their heart's content.

Again, don't get me wrong, I love JR Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood. Those books are pure crack and now the author has left the vampires behind to create a series of well-endowed fallen angels. Le sigh.

I perused the romance section at Joseph-Beth Booksellers the other day and the paranormal romances are now outnumbering the men-in-kilts bodice rippers. For shame, Danielle Steele should not tolerate this invasion any longer. What's wrong with well-endowed human men? Are they not good enough anymore? Can we not get our cheesy kicks from William McCleod and his trusty black steed riding the Scottish Highlands and rescuing maidens from their abusive fathers?

Or really, why can't more intelligent genres and authors get as much play as the bagillions of paranormal romance authors? I lost a few IQ points reading Twilight and I was able to regain them by reading Cabinet of Curiousities by Lincoln Childs and Douglas Preston.

At least, we will have revamped alien lizard invaders to distract us from the vampires and wolfies.