#10: Laughing when your daughter farts.
#9: In a moment of weakness, grousing about one child to the other.
Your Four-year-old: Why does Dalton (the toddler) get to stay up?
You: Because he's crazy and I'm tired of fighting him. He's being a butthead.
YFYO: Yeah, he''s got a stinky head.
#8: When they get way too many Easter baskets from relatives, hiding one and keeping the candy contents to yourself.
#7: Making your spouse the bad guy. "Mommy wouldn't like it if she saw what you're doing."
#6: Keeping your kid downstairs on a perpetual loop of Sesame Street because you want a beer/glass of wine.
#5: Forget to brush their teeth.
#4: The next night encouraging them to brush by telling them their breath smells like "dog food."
#3: Let your kid, freshly bathed and wet, prance around the house naked playing her favorite character “Jungle Girl†for way longer than perhaps appropriate.
#2: Not being as diligent as you think you should about your own nudity around the kids.
#1: When you don't have time to go to the park, telling them the "park is closed."
What are your dirty parenting secrets?
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