Parenting

From the Community…

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  Posted by Teena Fri Jul 25, 2008 3:10am PDT

  It is a very useful article especially for those who are just learning the ropes. Of course, the rope may be a very long one making the learning process lengthy as well, or even unending. But I believe a big part of it as its foundation is developing a good line of communication with the kids from day 1. The moment we begin to get to know our kids is also the same day they start getting to know us. For most part, I believe that's a good thing. For a beginner, the 12 tips might sound like motherhood is something that ties us down a lot of times. Thanks to our patriarchal culture, this is still true for a lot of families. But if dads are taught the same expectations and responsibilities on child rearing, it might just redefine the whole meaning of becoming a family.

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  Posted by Mimi-pz Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:48am PDT

  What a great article CP, thanks for sharing!

  My favorites are:

  #7: Be their mom, not their friend. BIGGIE for me. Like Vered, my mom also used to say, "I'm your mom, not your friend."

  #2 & #4: Lose the Guilt and don't be a martyr

  #6: REALLY Listen to them: I find this one is very challenging. My 7 YO will say to me, "Mom! You're NOT LISTENING to me!" I assume I know what he's going to say (and I usually do) so I dismiss him. But the more important thing is to listen first.

  #10: Teach them Self-Esteem: When I was growing up, my parents told me every day that they loved me and that I was beautiful, because, in my dad's words, "Then you will grow up knowing it and believing it." And you know what? I do. I tell my kids every day how great they are just for being who they are.

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  Posted by cetannae Fri Jul 25, 2008 8:44am PDT

  The guilt thing of having to put my son into daycare does not really affect me. I have a great daycare provider that does it out of her home. However, I sometimes feel guilty that I am tired at the end of the day and sometimes have my son watch too much TV. I think motherhood is a balance and we need time to ourselves for a bit. Then when we are recharged, we can pay more attention to the kids.

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  Posted by Ingrid C Fri Jul 25, 2008 8:45am PDT

  I think aretcile should be titled how tobe a better "parent." These skills are not gender specific. As a teacher I take particular interest in #'s 4, 7 & 11. Particularly the last two (7 & 11) seem to be lacking in out society, and to the great detriment of our future. It seems to be producing children who will have no idea how to fucntion as responsible, mature adults.

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  Posted by me Fri Jul 25, 2008 11:30am PDT

  yeah that friend stuff never works they get to use to it then when you say clean your room they turn into demons.Keep your position def.

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  Posted by Disgruntled Fri Jul 25, 2008 12:28pm PDT

  Very good list. My favorites are "Stay true to yourself" and "Be their Mom not their friend." I think the biggest mistake women make is getting so wrapped up in their children that they lose themselves. It's hard to let your kids grow up if they've become your entire life. I also know lots of parents who are too worried whether or not their kids like them. Your kids don't have to like you. They should respect you. My mother always said that if your children like you when they're teenagers then you're not raising them right.

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  Posted by lovesanovia Fri Jul 25, 2008 3:08pm PDT

  a good mom is one who tries to be perfect but knows perfection dosn't exsist. a great mom searches for new ways to be a better mom. a excellent mom is one who loves their child more than any one on earth and understands that being a mom is the hardest but most beautiful thing in this world.......

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  Posted by hotmami Fri Jul 25, 2008 3:31pm PDT

  lOVESANOVIA it is sweet what you just said

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  Posted by Heather F Fri Jul 25, 2008 10:41pm PDT

  Only one thing missing from that great list.

  #13- Pick your battles

  I try to keep my cool and let some of the little things slide. Great list though.

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  Posted by StressFreeMom Fri Jul 25, 2008 11:53pm PDT

  I think #6 is really important. Too often I assume I know what they mean, but I don't really hear what my kids are saying.

  Theresa Schultz

  Stress-FreeParent.blogspot.com

  http://buzz. Prevention.com/communities.category/stressfreemom

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