Parenting

Monday, December 14, 2009

8 tips to teach preschoolers about manners

How do children learn through friendships and routines?

What's the most essential thing our preschoolers need to learn before walking into their first day of
Kindergarten? Well...how to walk into Kindergarten. That is to say, how to function independently in the group setting of the classroom: how to trust teachers and get along with new friends, how to share toys and clean up after themselves, how to wash their own hands, how to put on their own coats and mittens, and on and on. Considering that these little ones were mere helpless babes a short while ago, it's truly amazing just how self-reliant they've become. As we shake our heads in wonder over all they can do, let's also think about what more we can teach them so they'll feel as self-confident as can be when they first walk through that school door.

These are some of the skills that experts have identified as essential for preschoolers to learn along with a few parent-created activities to help you help your children learn even more about the world around them. 

• To help your child learn to function and work constructively in a group setting, using appropriate social skills ...
     
... have a picnic indoors

For those long winter days when you can't get outside, your toddler will love having an indoor picnic. Have your child help you pack up a basket full of food. Together, you can then lay out a tablecloth or a sheet on the floor and put out plates and silverware. Then sit down and enjoy a wonderful picnic together. For extra fun, imagine all of the things that you see around you, things that you would have seen had you been having an outdoor picnic.
     

• To teach your child to share or take turns using toys ...

... sing a song of "It's My Turn"

It happens on every playdate -- two children want to play with the same toy. One way to help them to learn to take turns and work things out for themselves is to have them sing a song while playing with the toy. Once that song is over, it's the other child's turn. The song can be as simple and short as "Twinkle, Twinkle" for little ones or "If You're Happy and You Know It" for older ones.


• To show your child how to ask appropriately for help of an adult when needed ...

... play Role Reversal

Sometimes it's a fun treat for your child to get to be the "parent" for a little while. One afternoon, make a game out of reversing roles with your kids. It can be their job to remind you of the rules and of using polite behavior, and you can be as good or as challenging a child as you wish. We usually play this game with my daughter pretending to be me and I pretend to be her. It can be an eye-opening experience for both of us to realize how we sound to the other person. And it can be very funny, too.
     

• To help your child identify and follow classroom or house rules ...

... have a talk about What are Good Rules for...?

Next time you're headed to a restaurant or some other place where your child will need to be on his or her best behavior, make a game out of learning the rules. In the car on the way to the location, ask your child, "What do you think are good rules for going to...?" They'll usually come up with some good ones (and they usually come up with rules for things that they're most likely to do), and then you can add your own. It's a fun way to help your child remember all of the things that encompass using good manners.

     
• To teach your child to become a better listener ...

... work on these Three Steps to Listening

When my daughter was having trouble listening and following directions in school, her teacher suggested that I give her three-step tasks to complete. These help her to focus her listening and her memory. So instead of just asking her to get dressed for school, I ask her to brush her teeth, put on her shoes, and stand by the back door. She's become a much better listener and has improved her ability to follow through on a list of things to do.

    
• To show your child how to make requests and acknowledge attempts to meet requests politely ...

... let them Be the Teacher

While kids might not always like going to school, they usually like to play school at home. Not only is this a fun way to spend an afternoon, but it's a good way to reinforce what your kids have been learning in the classroom. You can also use this time to practice good manners. If you're the teacher, be sure to say Please and Thank You when asking your pupil to complete a task. Then switch roles, and let your little one be the one giving you the assignments (politely!).


• To help your child carry out single-step verbal directions ...

... play the Helping Game

Kids love to be helpers. Next time you're working in the kitchen or doing chores around the house, get your child involved. Give them a task that is manageable, one step at a time, and help them learn to be more self-sufficient and responsible in the process. My kids help by bringing me things that I need, measuring spoonfuls of ingredients, sorting laundry by color, and folding napkins into squares, rectangles, and triangles. There are learning opportunities all around -- we just have to find them!

     
• To teach your child to identify and label the emotions ...

... create a Daily Journal together

Each night before you put your child to bed, set aside a few minutes to reflect on the day. In a spiral notebook, ask your child what the best (or worst) part of her day was and have them draw a simple picture. You can then write what your child says about her picture on the same page. Date this and you will have memories for years to come!


More from The Savvy Source:

• Browse our activity guides for even more ideas to help your child learn about social skills.

• Help your child begin saying "please' and "thank you" with these books and toys.

• Find great activities in your town every day with Being Savvy Local.

• For our children, every day is a learning day.  Find and collect even more great ideas at www.savvysource.com.


 
Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1-4 of 4
  • cindy's Avatar
    Posted by cindy Wed Dec 3, 2008 11:49am PST

    I agree with most of this. I have a kindergartner but this is stuff I did, but not by reading it in a book or online. It is things I did while being a good parent and as you go along with raising your child, you get to know what works for them... This isnt anything groundbreaking.

    Report Abuse
  • Lefty's Avatar
    Posted by Lefty Wed Dec 3, 2008 3:05pm PST

    Thanks for the helpful tips. We all know what we want to teach our kids, but it the hustle of everyday life, it's helpful to have reminders and how-to's.

    Report Abuse
  • William's Avatar
    Posted by William Thu Dec 4, 2008 9:28am PST

    He is what I think. I think that these so called "experts" are not experts at all. I mean come on. "Be nice to your child and learn from them but also let them learn from you".....I say these things and instantly Im an expert in early childhood manners. What you will realize if you do a little homeowrk on who is telling you these things it will open your eyes. People write books on things, like childhood and how you should raise you children, without never even having had children themselves. Here's is an example; I say that you should eat an apple a certain way although I have never had a napple, same concept. To the real deals out there, my kudos to you but for those fakers out there, you should be ashamed. Here is a little advise from a realist. Are your kids being rude and wont listen? Do they just run all over the house after you have told them and told them to be quiet? Try a good old fashioned spanking to the behind. This usually clears matters up in a hurry. i was whipped when I was a child and you dont see me doing acts of senseless violence. Americans have to stop listening to what everyone tells us because we want people to like us and see us doing "the right thing". Who knows better than anyone what is right for your child? The parent, right. Since most of you who are reading this are parents i want to bring back some memories from your childhood. How many kids in your school were on Ridelin? What did you do every morning after that tardy bell rang? How many times did you ever have to wonder if saying "God" would get you kicked out of school. I love America but "our feelings and other peoples feelings" are taking away from our liberties as Americans. Any comments? Please be able to back up your comments and do not waste people time who intend to read this.

    Report Abuse
  • StaciM's Avatar
    Posted by StaciM Thu Dec 4, 2008 2:08pm PST

    These are some good tips, but you forgot the most important tip of all....be a good role-model for your children. They learn more by watching their parents. I would like to think that my four little ones have learned to be polite from watching my husband and I.

    Report Abuse
Comments 1-4 of 4

leave your comment

You must sign in to post a comment

Sign In for personalized information

New User? Sign Up

parenting byte

When entrusting your child's health to a pediatrician, you are bound to have concerns about whether you are picking the right practice or doctor. Here are five questions to ask when choosing a pediatrician.