Parenting

Thursday, November 26, 2009

A Day In The Life Of A Stay-At-Home Dad

When you picture a military couple, one going off to fight a war, and the other taking on the role of the stay-at-home parent, society typically envisions the man off in battle and the woman home with the children. But with nearly 20 percent of the Air Force consisting of women, men are quickly learning the challenges of being the military spouse, home with the kids.

In the military, dads aren't forced to take care of their children on their own from just 9 to 5 but rather for months at a time while their wives are away on duty. Read: 3 Deployments, Still Together: How We Did It

Despite the fact that society has come a long way in accepting equal roles of both sexes, there are a few daily challenges that stay-at-home dads struggle to adjust to—at least at first.

1.    Figuring out the mystery that is "doing" a woman's hair.

Now we know that we can't expect a man to magically produce an elegant updo for his 5-year-old daughter. Goodness knows we certainly can't begin to know how chignons are created. But we're not talking about curling irons, buns or even braids. A simple ponytail would suffice. Nevertheless, try as they may, sometimes even the best of them can't pull off this daunting task.

2.    Dealing with all those "womanly" changes.

If a stay at home dad is really lucky, he'll have to battle discussing menstruation, breast development, and of course, sex, to his little princess. A tough topic to discuss with your child of the same sex, even the bravest among them might avoid this conversation for as long as possible. Our recommendation? Give her a copy of Judy Blume's Are You There God? It's Me Margaret to help move things along.

3.    Putting your child first.

As Simon Van Booy wrote in his recent New York Times "Modern Love" column about being a single father, stay-at-home dads have to "think differently about everything." Instead of watching Terminator, you might be forced to watch Beauty and the Beast. Not just once, but several times. And New Year's Eve no longer is the time for champagne and all night parties but rather sparkling apple cider.

4.    Letting your daughter go on her first date. Without clobbering the guy.

Just remember this is an important milestone for your child. You might even want to take on the "motherly role" of fussing over her, discussing if he's really the cutest guy in the school, and taking embarrassing photos. Naturally, you should still threaten the lowlife who's going out on a date with your little angel!

5.    Figuring out how to breastfeed.

Just kidding and you can thank the inventor of formula for that. Read: Me, My Husband And My Baby: Who Owns My Breasts?

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Written by Kayda Norman for YourTango.com
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Comments 1-2 of 2
  • JoKTM's Avatar
    Posted by JoKTM Mon Jul 6, 2009 8:56am PDT

    Some dads can be great stay at home parents. If the man is lucky he can gets his mom or a close friend of the family that is a woman to discuss sensitive topics.

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  • pwsgirl's Avatar
    Posted by pwsgirl Mon Jul 6, 2009 10:48am PDT

    Best of luck and blessings to all the stay-at-home dads out there! In today's society, this is not at all an uncommon role as it might have been even ten years ago. Enjoy the time with your offspring and bask in the pleasure of being a positive influence in their lives. There are far too many cases of fathers being the "parent on the outside looking in" because of job demands, etc. Think of how lucky you are to be able to be such a huge part of your childrens' everyday lives.

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