From the top of the head most men can come up with all kinds of answers. “I want to be remembered as this, I want the world to know I was this”. When I was younger I wanted to be remembered as a cheerful giver. In the beginning, my giving was done by the book (the bible of course). I saw someone in need and I gave. Soon I found out that the more I gave, the better I felt. I was also never in want; everything I needed was being handed to me. It was honestly one of the best feelings I could ever remember feeling.
Soon I became accustomed to the feeling of not being in want. I soon found myself wanting more of that feeling. And this is where the problems arose. The more my desire for that feeling increased; the more I felt the need to give. I took my heart out of the equation and inserted my pockets, and that new big screen television I saw at the electronics store. My goal of being remembered as a cheerful giver, turned into a goal of seeing how much I could receive for each dollar I gave. No longer was I giving by the book; my thinking and feelings had totally changed. I lost sight of my original goals, and replaced them with new ones. The legacy I thought that I was leaving was no longer alive. I had given birth to a new legacy; one in which I would find that I was not proud to leave.
How many times have we as men, begun to create what we feel would be our lasting legacies; only to find that what we thought was our legacy was really only a selfish reaction to the world around us? So many of us today (myself included) view our surroundings through what I like to call, “envious contact lenses”. I used to find myself wandering why did someone who was obviously doing wrong have more than I did. Why did this person have the luxury car, and here I am on the bus? How could that person walk into Macy’s and buy whatever they pleased, while I struggled to buy an item from Walgreens?
I eventually found myself giving away as much as I could, with the hopes of me getting all that I saw around me. The moment that I realized God was in the habit of rewarding my cheerful giving; I took it upon myself to try and up the ante. I thought I had finally figured out how to get all that I saw someone else possess. I had convinced myself that I could leave a lasting legacy and be selfish all at the same time; and I was going to use God in the process.
I allowed myself to become blinded by all of the things that I was able to receive; and lost sight of what was really important. I started with the hopes of leaving this lasting legacy for my children, and in the process began leaving something much worse.
So how could I get back to my original purpose? How could I find the road back to leaving a lasting legacy for my children and my children’s children? Well I began to pray! I prayed for God’s forgiveness, and for his guidance. I prayed that God would allow me once again to work towards something that would last. I prayed for something that would inspire my children, and then in turn inspire their children. And I am proud to say that you are reading my legacy. My purpose in life goes hand in hand with my legacy.
I thank God everyday that I am back on the road to leaving a lasting legacy. My hope is that all fathers can leave lasting legacies for their children.
