Parenting

Monday, November 30, 2009

Air Wars: SHUT that KID Up

Listen up, idiot in seat 24D. Kids don't come with volume controls.

chld crying on airplane

Getty Images


Vivian Manning-Schaffel
: We were flying home from Florida the other day and man, we thought we had it right. For her first time flying out to see her grandparents, our youngest flew like a champ. I, thinking I was slick, offered to take the seat next to our 2-year-old on the ride home, thinking she'd pass right out (as she has the propensity to do in any other moving vehicle) around her naptime like clockwork. And I'd score two nonstop, luxurious hours to peruse a book that wasn't crafted out of cardboard.

So we taxi. I hand her a sippy cup to prevent ear-popping and we take off smoothly. Her eyes begin to droop, and I mentally pat myself on the back. Score! But once we get to our target altitude, the kid loses her everloving mind.

Girlfriend is wailing. And I mean WAILING. I ask if it's her ears a few times, and each time she nods "no," without so much as pausing to breathe.

I read every Elmo board book I have. I put on "Dora" and stick headphones on her. No dice. She's overtired and passing her "nap window," and it's anyone's guess when she'll decide to settle.

The nice man sitting behind me goes to fetch some snacks. No animal cracker, Terra Blue chip, or Cheddar Bunny will silence her. It is abundantly clear to anyone witnessing this display that I am pulling out all the stops to soothe her. And after a mere five minutes of this tirade, do you know what the 60-year-old gentleman across the aisle says to me?

"Do you think you can do something about her? She's really annoying."

Turns out the nice young man burdened with sitting in our row had a 1-year-old of his own. So he let the jackass have it. "She's a BABY. C'mon!"

I pipe in. "You were two once, too. And I'm sure you cried like this on occasion."

"Hippos Go Berserk" does the trick for about a full minute, but as soon as it's done, she resumes her hysteria. I hold her. I rock her. We walk the aisles. And as soon as we sit back down, she flips a switch and it's back-into-banshee-dom. And short of pulling a muzzle out of my ass (admirable trickery, but sadly there is none), there's nothing I can do.

To add to my misery, I overhear the jackass lady sitting one row in front of the first jackass ask the flight attendant if there is "anything she could do" about my kid!

I wanted to say this at the time, but I was obviously busy, so I'm saying it now:

"Lady (I mean, raging idiot), no one on earth longs for her silence more than I. But if kids came with volume controls, the need for pacifiers, earplugs, whiskey, and Xanax would be virtually obsolete. So unless you are prepared to offer me one or more of the aforementioned solutions, do us all a favor and shut the f*** up."

And if it's not blatantly obvious, I'm being facetious. Sort of.

My husband eventually pulls out what we call the "big guns" -- his iPod. An hour and a half after take-off, with a mere half hour left of the flight, she passes out to the soundtrack of "Yo Gabba Gabba." Ah! The solution. Who knew?

I'm sure you've been the parent of "that screaming kid" at one point or another. Short of slipping her a mickey, what's a parent to do? Do you have a trick to share that works in times like these?

Vivian Manning-Schaffel has written for Babble, Parenting, The Advocate, The New York Post, Business Week and a variety of other publications and lives and works in the heart of breeder Brooklyn with her husband and two kids. She authors two pop culture blogs: The Mad Mom and A Hag Supreme, and is on the web at vivianmanningschaffel.com.

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Comments 1-10 of 121
  • Rowdygirl's Avatar
    Posted by Rowdygirl Mon Oct 26, 2009 10:53am PDT

    I don't have kids, but I have some sympathy for your situation. On the other hand, just because someone doesn't want to hear your "bundle of joy" scream non-stop doens't make them an idiot.

    If you want tolerance, you also have to accept that some people just don't care to hear a kid crying, screaming, etc.

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  • Dylan and Lansing's Avatar
    Posted by Dylan and Lansing Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:07am PDT

    Tylenol, and yes, I have 3 kids. Tylenol is my choice because it heads off any ear pain from flying and takes the edge off. Oh, and a shot of good Tequila for me, takes my edge off, ;)

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  • Libby's Avatar
    Posted by Libby Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:10am PDT

    I agree completely with Rowdygirl.... I know there is very little you can do when a kid goes berserk, but never the less, people have a right to expect a bit of peace and a right to get annoyed. Travel is stressful, and your screaming child isn't helping, so that doesn't make the irritated people "idiots". What does make them idiots is asking the flight attendant to do something...if the parent can't get control of the sitch how is a stranger going to? DUH!

    The only solution? If the child is young enough that you can't control them, maybe just take a road trip so you and your family are the only ones who are expected to deal with the kid?

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  • kitkatgurl06's Avatar
    Posted by kitkatgurl06 Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:19am PDT

    I'm guilty of medicating my son when we fly. When they start boarding is when I give my son a half teaspoon of Benadryl. It starts to take effect right after take off.

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  • Tammy's Avatar
    Posted by Tammy Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:26am PDT

    I don't have kids either, so I have not gotten used to the screaming fits or meltdowns, etc. It isn't that I can't understand these things happen, it is just that it seems to happen ALOT wherever I go.

    I don't care to get a raging migraine from incessant screaming...whether it be from a child or an adult. When this happens (at a store or something), I will try to remove myself from the aisle or go to a different part of the store, etc. But we all have bad days, just like the little ones, and just don't want to hear it. It isn't personal.

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  • fishER's Avatar
    Posted by fishER Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:42am PDT

    It's called a car. Use it.

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  • Sira-ha-ha's Avatar
    Posted by Sira-ha-ha Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:50am PDT

    It doesn't hurt a kid to give them a little Tylenol or Benadryl and it makes there flight tolerable for everyone. I hate hearing kids cry, but I'm willing to tolerate it to an extent. I mean, it is public transportation. But your headache needn't become mine. So, after an hour my patience is absolutely non-existent. No other passenger on the plane could be that disruptive and it be okay. Maybe the flights could wait and road trips could be the way to travel. Or...tylenol for everyone!

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  • MichelleE's Avatar
    Posted by MichelleE Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:51am PDT

    When a baby or toddler is having a "moment" as long as the parent is trying then there is nothing more that can be done. Most people are understanding in those situations and those that aren't may have their own issues ie. dealing with a migraine or having some sort of other issues. In any case the baby doesn't understand any of that so in those situations if it's bothering you, ask for the earphones and watch the in flight movie!

    btw hostility begets more hostility, I think more of us need to learn to let things roll off our shoulders more. Being angry all the time isn't fun and it's gonna shorten your lifespan... just let it go!

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  • Ona's Avatar
    Posted by Ona Mon Oct 26, 2009 11:51am PDT

    I feel your pain. But I also feel the pain of the non-parents who's ear drums are now bleeding from your child's incessant screams. I have had that happen to me, and I arrive at my destination stressed, irritated and with a massive headache. I don't have children so why must I suffer too.

    I can't wait for the rumored "family Airline" to take off. They promise to have flights for families so the rest of us don't have to endure screaming children. Children running up and down the isles while their parents expect the flight attendants to tend to their kids, or kids kicking the back of your seat every few minutes, or crawling over and landing in your lap. I've seen it all.

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  • FloridaNative's Avatar
    Posted by FloridaNative Mon Oct 26, 2009 12:08pm PDT

    Some people are idiots but I don't think airline passengers who pay for over priced tickets, are packed in like sardines and have their personal space invaded by other passengers should have to endure the crying or screaming of children or adults. My older brother pitched a fit in a restaurant and my mother sat in the restroom with him for 45 minutes until he calmed down.

    We all understand kids get cranky but why not be better prepared and give the child some Benadryl like the other lady suggested. And why did it take your husband an hour and a half to let her use the I-Pod? Put some movies on I-Pod that she likes so that she can be entertained on the next trip. Between the I-Pod and the Benadryl you should be okay. If not, you can do what my mother did and sit in the restroom until she stops crying. I don't think the passengers will mind being out one restroom. I'm sure they would take that over the crying.

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