Am I alone?
I am a mom of 2 kids, one is 3 yrs old and the other 3 months old. When I was pregnant with both my sons there was overwhelming pressure to breastfeed. From my doctor's appointments to complete strangers, everyone said "You're going to breastfeed, right?" I even lied saying I would be even though I still hadn't made the decision whether to or not. I was not prepared for the difficulty of breastfeeding and went through so many emotions throughout. I had c-sections with both my sons and both times my milk took awhile to come in. I was even pumping at the hospital through the pain of surgery. My first son had a hard time latching on and wasn't gaining the proper amount of weight so I bottle-fed with expressed breast milk and supplemented with formula. I would pump every 2-3 hrs and would attempt to breastfeed. All along, I had a colic baby who wanted to be held all the time making it difficult to pump throughout the day. I was also not producing enough milk. I had one breast that produced very little. Finally, I gave up after a few weeks and just pumped exclusively. To make matters worse, my first son had reflux so he would have episodes of vomiting after he would eat. Many times I would cry when he threw up thinking about all the hard work I put in with the pumping and the stress of it all. I even got mastitis and had to take antibiotics for a little while and also went through a bought of thrush. After all this, I was able to pump for 3 months and decided to stop since I was going back to work. I have done the same with my 3 month old and am in the process of putting him on formula exclusively. He also had a hard time latching on and I have had several plugged ducts already along with cracked and bleeding nipples. These were hard decisions but I know the best decision for me. But knowing this did not take away the feelings of guilt. But why the guilt? Every mom is entitled to make this decision for themselves without being pressured. So much information is given at the doctor's office on breastfeeding but little on bottle feeding. Pediatricians and OBGYNs saying "Don't stop breastfeeding" no matter what you've been through. Dirty looks given to you by other moms when you pull out a bottle to feed your baby instead of your breast. Bottles of formula almost mocking you with labels that say "Breast milk is recommended." Commercials from formula makers saying "Breast milk is best." Even today I read an article titled "Tainted Milk: Yet Another Reason to Breastfeed" about the tainted formula given to infants in China. Being a mom is hard enough. If she chooses not to breastfeed or can't, why should she be put down?Am I alone? The pressure of breastfeeding
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Posted by Sat Oct 18, 2008 6:51pm PDT
Report AbuseIt sounds like you made every effort. Please stop beating yourself up.
I had a child earliert this year. When I went back to work my job sent me to cover a breast feeding fair. I was consumed with overwhelming guilt when I listened to the women talk about the joys they experienced. They even had a skit that was supposed to represent what a bottled fed baby would say to a breast fed baby. It was utterly ridiculous. I breastfed for three months along with offering bottles as my son was not satisfied with just breast milk.
Give your self credit for the attempt and for continuing to feed them. They are glad to have a Mommy who loves them. Breast feeding is hard work and not everybody is able to do it. Doctors never tell you that.
You can whip up gourmet meals for them when they can eat and they would be satisfied with burgers and fries (organic lol)
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Posted by Sun Feb 22, 2009 7:28am PST
Report AbuseDear Mom,
One of the life lesson's that I have learned growing up is: "It is always easier for those who live in a glass house to throw stones at others, but never acceptable when the pot calls the kettle black. So be true to yourself and don't worry about what others think of you!"
It is a personal choice and you need to do what is right for you. Your baby is going to be fine, mothers milk or not. It is not the choice of the milk, but the love and tenderness that the baby feels when you cuddle him/her close to you. Never let anyone else push you into something you do not want to do, nor should you feel guilty for your choice. Just enjoy the special time you have with you little one and tell the rest to mind their own pints and quarts!
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Posted by Fri Oct 16, 2009 5:52am PDT
Report AbuseI felt extreme pressure from my ObGYN. They started as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I was struggling with an unplanned pregnancy, a stressful job, and a husband who freaked out all the time because he really didn't want a child but was trying to be there anyways. I was sick ALL the time and miserable and it wasn't just breastfeeding-- I was nagged about circumcision as well and the fact I do not receive or give blood due to religious belief. I wanted to change doctors but my husband insisted I go to this hospital cause it was the best TX had to offer. For 5 months I suffered through this till it ended in miscarriage. I encourage mothers to do what is right for THEM-- and do not be afraid to speak up for yourself. Doctors may know whats best but they don't know what's best for you. I am currently reading this with a friend who is feeling the same pressure.
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Posted by Sun Nov 15, 2009 7:23pm PST
Report AbuseI highly disagree with "CowMama." Her very first comment was the most ridiculous thing I have heard. What about what is best for the mom? You are obviously going through an unnatural amount of pain and suffering with bleeding and making your body unhealthy. A miserable mom cannot give a healthy environment for the child. It is a choice to breast feed or formula feed. And don't believe the bullcrap that it is a "magical" experience or helps you bond so much with your child. It is not always true. I know mothers who were completely turned off from it. And I am sorry to say, but pain is not magical. Unhealthy-ness in both the mother and child is not magical. Do what YOU have to do and bond with your baby YOUR way.
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