Am I just a fuddy-duddy, or do all moms feel like this?

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  Posted by toast_4u Thu Dec 4, 2008 10:52am PST

  Wow- sounds like you've got a lot on your plate! Don't worry, though, it's all manageable. I think the best thing is to break down what you have going on in your life into parts. Like the school/exams thing should be first. Don't even worry about the holidays until your school stuff is over. Your son is young enough that he won't remember the tree/presents/decorations, etc. So concentrate on your school and after that, have your husband take care of your son for a little bit so you can rest for a morning or whatever. After you're recharged, buy presents for the people you need to and if your husband can help enlist him too.

  The best advice I ever read was in a book called "Bird by Bird". It's actually a book about writing, but the author tells the story of her son who was overwhelmed with writing a long paper on several different kinds of birds. He had put it off and was so stressed he didn't know where to begin. So she told him, "well, just do it bird by bird and you'll get it done" It's not the exact quote, but you get the idea. I think as wives/mothers/homeowners we get overwhelmed and either try to do everything at once or we totally shut down because it seems like there's no point. Try to break down what's going on and do what really needs to be done first and then worry about the rest. Good luck!

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  Posted by DeAnn Thu Dec 4, 2008 11:03am PST

  Whoa! You've got a lot on your plate!

  Ok the first thing you need to do is get a grip. Make a plan. You want to enjoy yourself while getting things accomplished. Stress is taking over and when you're stressed, it's harder to see things clearly. Admit this to yourself.

  Ok, next, de-stress. Do a big de-stress indulgent thing for yourself. Spend a couple hours at the spa getting a massage and facial, get a mani-pedi at Walmart, go camping by yourself, spend a whole day in the bathroom clipping your nails and shaving your legs - get away from it all and have an agreement with yourself from this moment forward, you will not allow stress to take over. Then, figure out some anti-stress strategies that will work for you. When you're in the moment of feeling overwhealmed, take a walk, listen to music, or do breathing techniques. Do whatever it takes to keep stress at bay.

  Finally, get organized! Carefully plan your time, generally allowing 25% more time to do something than you think it will. Do little things, from laying out your clothes and packing your lunch the night before, to organizing how to work on your school assignments and a timeline for what the new house needs. Take little steps and break everything down. Then, execute and re-adjust the schedule as necessary. Keep separate spaces for school work, home stuff, de-stress zone, and of course, a place where you and your hubby can be alone - uninterrupted by thoughts of what you have to get done (and turn the baby monitor off! It won't kill him to cry for 20 minutes while you two do your thing.)

  Finally, realize that the holidays are what you make it. So if you want to be miserable, you will be miserable. If you want to be relaxed, be relaxed. You CAN turn down invitations for parties and requests for holiday participation. You CAN delegate things to your husband. You CAN ask for help from others. You CAN put you first. You DON'T need a perfect 4.0.

  After all, "if Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy."

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  Posted by Spam I Am Thu Dec 4, 2008 11:07am PST

  Christy, DON'T put up a front of "seasonal bliss". It's quite OK to be

  a "scrooge". Calmly explain to family/friends what is going on. You

  actually don't even have to give excuses. Wish everyone Merry-oops,

  Happy Holidays (pc alert!), send/give a card or two, and deal with your

  issues. Or matbe you can celebrate Festivus, but that's technically

  a "holiday" too.

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  Posted by HotCrossBuns Thu Dec 4, 2008 11:47am PST

  Organization is the key. You need to sit down and organize your thoughts and your shedule on paper. It helps me if I write out a rough timeline of when things need to be done and a time-limit for each task. For example I make an informal list of chores, appts, etc on a piece of notebook paper for every day of the week. I check it every morning, and I tell myself that I can only worry about today's list today, and tomorrow I will worry about tomorrow's list. It's a way of delegating your worries to their proper times and reducing the pressure of having to have it all done at once.

  I find that when I can take some of the stress out of the mundane everyday tasks by not constantly worrying about what comes next, I seem to find a little holiday cheer seeping out unexpectedly. It's okay to do things in small burst, and that includes finding your Holiday Cheer, too!

  Most of all, make sure you schedule in time for you at least every other day. Even if it's only 20 mintues to soak in a hot bathtub or to file your nails or stare at yourfeet while locked in a closet (I have actually done this at a time of desperation!)...20 minutes of quiet solitude will do wonders for your stress level, which in turn may help with the joint and muscle pains you are experiencing. (body pain is one of the major warning signs that you are over-stressed...listen to it!)

  Hope you find your way to happiness this holiday.

  ~HCB (wife and mom of 3 elementary school-aged kids plus 7 cats and a hamster, homeowner, recent PT office employee and animal shelter volunteer.)

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  Posted by teresamartin65 Thu Dec 4, 2008 12:12pm PST

  Hello I am a fulltime student i also work partime and i have TWO kids they're ages are 3 and 1 going on two im a single parent to the both of them. Its not easy by any means. I find myself with bursts of energy to jusy make the day go by smoothly. I just want to be able to make my kids proud and i feel i need to work my hardest and anything they want i want to be able to provede them with. So i would just say if not for you then just make yuor family your motivation.

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  Posted by mommaofsun Thu Dec 4, 2008 12:13pm PST

  I understand. I work 50 hours a week, have a 13 yr old and 6 yr old boys, married, a huge house to keep clean, working on a photography degree, and have 11 farm cats to take care of. Not to mention---basketball practice, play practice, speech practice, homework with the kids, ect ect ect. I could care less about the holidays, but, I make a huge effort for the kids. I wish someone would have warned me before the kids, marriage, wife thing happened that I would be crabby and exhausted all of the time. I might have rested more and partied less. LOL!!!

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  Posted by teresamartin65 Thu Dec 4, 2008 12:15pm PST

  Hello I am a fulltime student i also work partime and i have TWO kids they're ages are 3 and 1 going on two im a single parent to the both of them. Its not easy by any means. I find myself with bursts of energy to jusy make the day go by smoothly. I just want to be able to make my kids proud and i feel i need to work my hardest and anything they want i want to be able to provede them with. So i would just say if not for you then just make yuor family your motivation.

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  Posted by EMILY Thu Dec 4, 2008 12:24pm PST

  well, at least with a 5 month old, you can kind of skip a lot. she'll never know aobut the tree, won't remember. and maybe next year will be more magical with the tree being a first and 18 months. Same goes for gift buying. your baby will never know/ remember. Cherish this option, it won't come again.

  And, wow, yes you have a lot on your plate. It would not be amiss to ask a freind for some help. Give her money and ask her to shop for you, or walk the dogs, or.....who knows. but man, are you swamped.

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  Posted by Grandmother of three Thu Dec 4, 2008 2:07pm PST

  Is there anyone who could help you out? Family or friends to give you a break. Someone to babysit, do your food shopping or even do a little holiday decorating. It is ok to be Bah Humbug, but a little "Merry" once in a while would be nice for your family. Grandmother of Three

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  Posted by stbdhead Thu Dec 4, 2008 5:51pm PST

  Just wait. You say your baby is 5 months? Next Christmas will be the incredible one! When your child anticipates Christmas, you almost can't help but "catch it" from him! I have two kids, and it is they who make the whole thing great!

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