Are you an unfit mother for wanting a girl but getting a boy?

From the Community…

• 
  Posted by Nini Poo Tue Apr 28, 2009 8:57am PDT

  I currently am pregnant with a baby boy-- due July 6. We were hoping for a healthy baby, with no other stipulations. Now that we've gotten used to the fact that we are having a boy and have been calling him a "him" and not "it", I couldn't be more excited... but I think it'd be that way if we were having a girl too.

  On the pregnancy forum I belong to, there were plenty of posts from mothers coping with "gender disappointment" though. This is something I cannot fathom!!!! After finding out they are preggers with a boy vs. a girl (vice versa) they actually are sad!

  Um, hello!!!! you have a miracle growing inside of you and you're going to actually be PICKY about it's gender? It's shallow if you ask me.

  I don't know if "gender disappointment" is grounds to call DCF though. Like I said, I can't fathom it, so I guess my input is useless.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by LIZZ Tue Apr 28, 2009 10:40am PDT

  I am in actual shock too! There are women, sorry I can expect it form men, but women who carry these miracle have any sort of disappointment. I didn't find out with either of my boys until they came to meet me. I was happy at both, and would have been happy the other way around! This woman should be ashamed of herself.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Kassandra Tue Apr 28, 2009 10:44am PDT

  I'm trying to take this article with a gain of salt as it did say she was drugged up at the time of the comment...did the hospital take her comment out of line? I wanted a little girl because my mother died when I was a toddler and wanted the mother/daughter bond that I saw with my friends going up. I found out my son was coming and was overjoyed though it did take a couple hours to sink in because of the shock. I understand what this mother meant. She loved her child regardless of the sex and made a comment that was taken out of line.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by C Tue Apr 28, 2009 11:09am PDT

  I agree with Kassandra - she was (likely) under the influence of (possibly narcotic) painkilling drugs and was "woozy" and "exhausted". How exactly can they say she "failed to bond with the baby" when she was probably IN the hospital for three days, four days TOPS?

  I imagine that now that she can see and think straight, she may well BE ashamed, but I think the hospital was right out of line on this one.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by BSFreeMama Tue Apr 28, 2009 11:35am PDT

  Nino Poo I totally agree with you! I can't believe there is actually a site for ("Gender Disappointment) So sad and it just blows my mind! I know this is beside the point but I just don't get the need for certain women to have girls! I have 2 boys and never wanted anything more than a healthy BABY! Yeah - honestly!

  I don't think a mom is "unfit" if she doesn't get the gender of choice but I think she should be grateful for what she has weither it's a boy or a girl!

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Doktor Eevol Tue Apr 28, 2009 11:36am PDT

  They are punishing her for not favoring males. I'm sure they would have sung a different tune if she had a daughter and voiced that she was hoping for a boy.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by noahs mommy Tue Apr 28, 2009 2:32pm PDT

  I am sorry I am all about child safety but this is stupid!Just because she was initially dissapointed about gender, does not mean she wasn't grateful. We all build things up in our heads and sometimes especially exhausted we express our dissapointment.

  My husband wanted a girl but now he wouldn't trade his son for a million girls.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Brooklyn Baby Tue Apr 28, 2009 2:37pm PDT

  When I was pregnant I wanted a girl, and was mad for 2 days when I was told the baby was a boy, but I got over it. She probably said she wanted a girl then went to sleep. I think the hospital was out of line to call the authorities on her.

  Did she abuse the baby while they were in the hospital?

  did she not want to feed, or touch the baby?

  What the hospital did was wrong.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Emily Candy Tue Apr 28, 2009 3:01pm PDT

  Hoping for a girl and delivering a boy does NOT make you a bad parent. I was hoping for a boy with my oldest, and I delivered a beautiful, healthy baby girl. And yeah, while I was slightly disappointed that it wasn't a boy like I'd hoped... I was just happy that my daughter was born healthy, with no complications & I got to take her home. She's the best thing that ever happened to me. I wasn't stuck on the negative. I don't think this mother was either. I think she was just woozy & disoriented from pushing a baby! That hospital needs to leave her alone. She was just expressing her innermost opinions. That doesn't mean she loves her child any less or that she won't take care of her child the way it needs to be cared for. And you CERTAINLY can't take anything a woman says while on pain meds at face value!! C'mon. Seriously.

  Report Abuse
• 
  Posted by Martin Tue Apr 28, 2009 3:31pm PDT

  BOYS ARE BEAUTIFUL , I HAVE TWO SONS 20 AND 17 YEARS OLD..

  I BELIEVE WE EACH TAKE CARE OF THE CHILDREN GOD SENT US.

  WE AS HUMANS HAVE DIFFERENT DESIRES AND NOBODY GETS ALL THEIR WISHES , THE IMPORTANT THING IS TO LOVE AND CHERISH OUR CHILDREN , WHAT BETTER THAN TO PLAY WITH THEM. FOOTBALL , BASKETBALL , SWIMMING , WHATEVER YOUR CHILD LIKES. BY THE WAY YOU SHOULD PLAY WHAT THE CHILD LIKES AND NOT WHAT YOU LIKE... AFTER ALL PARENTING IS A LEARNING PROCESS... I THINK LUKES MOM IS GOING TO BE OK AND IF SHES OK THE CHILD WILL BE TOO.

  Report Abuse