Parenting

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Are Your Parents Spoiling Your Kids?

Shopping for grandkids is their right. But how much is too much? Grandparents.com’s Georgia Witkin, Ph.D. asked her own daughter, Kimberly Pauley, for some insight.


Dr. Georgia Witkin : Here's the problem: In an AARP survey, 80 percent of grandparents said they worry that their grandchildren don't know the value of a dollar, but the same percentage admitted that they spoil the kids. So why do they do it? Their number-one response was "it makes me happy."

Kimberly Pauley : I think most parents understand that and even get a kick out of seeing their parents so eager to please their children. The problem is that what happens at Grandma and Grandpa's usually affects what happens at home. The kids want to stay up past their bedtime the way they did at Grandma's, eat in front of the television, and watch cartoons in bed while having popcorn for breakfast. When parents try to get their kids back to a "normal" routine, the kids are so overtired that they melt down. The question becomes whether two days of babysitting is worth the melt-down aftermath.

How can parents have the pleasure of leaving their kids with grandparents — without the headaches?

Read the rest of this article at Grandparents.com.

Georgia Witkin, Ph.D. ("GG" to her grandchildren) is an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Mount Sinai Medical Center in New York City , the author of 11 books on stress and parenting, and contributing editor at Grandparents.com. Kimberly Pauley, her daughter, is an attorney, professor, parenting columnist, and mother of GG's grandsons, Jake, 8, Ty, 5 ,and Nate, 9 months.

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From the Community…

Comments 1-9 of 9
  • carol's Avatar
    Posted by carol Fri Oct 30, 2009 7:02am PDT

    I'd like to know how to get my mother to quite giving me advise on my son everytime I ask her to babysit. sometimes its just eazyer not to go out or take that trip because you dont want the advice at the end of the weekend.

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  • New England Babe's Avatar
    Posted by New England Babe Sun Nov 1, 2009 3:41pm PST

    My parents raised 9 of us and worked very hard to do it. We never knew they didn't have much money because my mother is the best bargain hunter around. So I love that my parents spoil my kids. My parents are pure love and fun for my kids, 18 yr old daughter and 5 yr old son. It is their reward for having to do all that hard work raising me. They can do whatever they want with my kids.

    My kids know that the rules are different with Nana and Guy then with me and have no problem with that. Food, they eat what ever they want with Nana and if they are fed nothing but her homemade goodies I hope they remember every bite because my mother won't always be there to make it for them. If they want to take them somewhere I don't want or can't afford to go I hope they have fun and if they want to buy way too many toys or clothes for them than that is there prerogative. Kind of the definition of a grandparent in my book.

    They only get after them to prevent someone getting hurt or something from being broken. Fine by me!

    I hope to do the same for my grandchildren someday!

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  • Joy in Seattle's Avatar
    Posted by Joy in Seattle Sun Nov 1, 2009 11:59pm PST

    Grandma is welcome to spoil my child. She learns the value of a dollar with me, gets told no, while grandma teaches her that you should give freely to those you love. I think she learns both lessons, maybe not on a conscious level, but when she's an adult (a mom, a grandma), she will act accordingly.

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  • WILLIAM H's Avatar
    Posted by WILLIAM H Sun Nov 8, 2009 2:25pm PST

    spoiling grandkids is soooo much fun!! i LOVE my grandkids to pieces!!! i LOVE to cook for them -- i just think they are AWESOME!!!! -- they are the best looking group around! I am so BLESSED!! i have been blessed to have kept all 7 of them -(nuts at times!!) but would not trade it for anything!!! they are my life! I have written songs & poems about them-- (abook will be printed in the future)-- they bhave totally given me immmesurable JOY!! kept me laughing!! WOULD NOT TRADE it for ANYTHING!!!!!

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