Parenting

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

At The Bris: A Perfectionist Dad Examines His Progeny's Package

by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor (Make Mine A Double)

My friend David is a perfectionist but he’s working on it. I first met him a little more than fifteen years ago at a comedy club in Los Angeles and I found him to be a hilarious, anxious mess so naturally I took to him immediately. We hung out together regularly, and spent a lot of time analyzing our respective love lives, giving each other advice and much needed reassurance. “Just give her another chance,” I tried telling him once after he decided a girl’s teeth were too big to warrant a second date. “Can’t do it. I just don’t see myself long term with someone whose teeth would look more appropriate in Gary Busey’s mouth. Is that harsh?” It was but I sort of saw his point. I was working with some commitment issues of my own.

Years later neither of us had made much progress although he insisted he was ready to get married and have kids. “I’m sure she’ll call you back at some point,” I told him referring to the model/actress/dancer he’d taken out on one extremely expensive dinner date hoping to impress her. “But she’ll probably be calling to borrow money. If you really want to date someone stable, why do you keep picking actresses?”

“I know, I know. What I want is a sweet Jewish girl who will worship me and be a great mother to my children but she has to have a smokin’ hot ass. I’m asking too much, aren’t I?”

“Yeah, Dave. I think you are. You need to lower your expectations because what you want from another person and from yourself is just not attainable. Look at me; I’m dating a guy with a small penis and I’m perfectly happy.”

“You’re right. I’m going to work on this issue harder. I think I’m willing to settle for an ass that’s simply tight. You know like a swimmer’s ass.” I gave up.

Approximately five or six years later, I was married and living in the valley when I got the news that David had finally found someone for keeps; a pretty, Jewish, cool woman with a seemingly very nice but realistic rear end and reasonably sized teeth. She was exactly right for him and I was ecstatic for them both. They got married, bought a house together and began trying to start a family. Unfortunately, that part wasn’t so ideal. While I was popping out babies like the Octo-mom, they struggled for years with hardcore fertility issues going from doctor to doctor trying every method imaginable. So it was cause for much celebration on Tuesday when I attended the bris for their 8-day-old twin boys.

I arrived just on time to their beautiful house, hugged everyone I knew, grabbed a bagel, lox and cream cheese and made my way into the back bedroom where it turned out the rabbi was preparing the babies for the circumcision. My plan was to just catch a glimpse of the babies and get the hell out of the room because I definitely wanted no part of any snipping action, but when the rabbi asked me to hold the baby he’d just prepped, I found myself too mesmerized to leave. I’d almost forgotten what absolute perfect little miracles infants are. As I held and cuddled all six pounds of sweetness, the rabbi undressed the other baby and that’s when things took an ugly turn.

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Raising preemie twin girls plus a sassy preschooler while trying to make a book deadline isn't for wussies. In her  Mommy Track'd column, Make Mine a Double, Stefanie Wilder-Taylor takes imperfect parenting to an art form. Each week she breaks the pristine laws of the mommy manuals as she reveals how she attempts to parent her three children through instinct, intelligence, and a lot of trial and error.  She is the author of Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay, Naptime Is the New Happy Hour, and It's Not Me, It's You: Subjective Recollections from a Terminally Optimistic, Chronically Sarcastic and Occasionally Inebriated Woman. She’s appeared numerous times on The Today Show, is a member of the Us Weekly Fashion Police and writes on her blog, Baby On Bored.

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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 43
  • miss my family's Avatar
    Posted by miss my family Mon Sep 21, 2009 9:24pm PDT

    Okay the woman and the man are both creeps. What a pervert wanting a "perfect" wife. So he's judging his wife on her butt there's a real quality. *rolls eyes* What happens if she has a great butt and you marry her and she's a complete jerk? What an idiot. And what SICK TWISTED PERVERTED man sits there and judges the size of his sons jibbly bits? That is down right creepy. It's people like that that become pedophiles. And the woman writing this....... wow so she knew after a week the size of one of her boyfriends junk? Wow can we say w----? And besides basing whether you like someone on the size of his/her body parts is absolutely retarded. This whole story is absolutely disgusting. Poor kids growing up with perverted family members and friends like that. Hopefully God will show them how screwed up these people are.

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  • Sa's Avatar
    Posted by Sa Mon Sep 21, 2009 10:21pm PDT

    How can you be a perfectionist when perfect doesn't exist. its only in the eyes of the holder.

    and besides to be perfect you have to be perfect at not being prefect.

    flawless of a person are what makes them interesting and different for one another.

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  • Crystal Annlin McClen's Avatar
    Posted by Crystal Annlin McClen Tue Sep 22, 2009 7:24pm PDT

    Nanner you are a completely psychotic.. sorry but after reading what you wrote here (and on the article about how conservative states have higher birth rates) makes me really wonder about you.... Dude, EVERYONE checks out each other, and the father wasn't checking out his son's wang doodle, in a sexual way, he was worried if they, would be the same, i.e. identical. also if you bothered to really read the article or the rest of it, she said she broke up with the small penis guy because he was A BAD TIPPER! not because of his size, she was joking about the fact she broke up with him because of his size.

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  • Crystal Annlin McClen's Avatar
    Posted by Crystal Annlin McClen Tue Sep 22, 2009 7:25pm PDT

    also Nanner, i too have a vision of the perfect mate, looks wise, long hair, nice average body, little to no chest hair.... for me THATS the perfect guy, so does that make me a pervert too?

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  • miss my family's Avatar
    Posted by miss my family Tue Sep 22, 2009 9:49pm PDT

    Okay your statement EVERYONE checks out each other that is a lie. Because I don't and I am a person. And no I don't think your a pervert because you prefer long hair/no chest hair/average body (I'm assuming you mean like not like overly fat or overly skinny) I think he's a pervert because he's talking about her BUTT it's okay to have preferences but I don't believe for one minute that God (and I bring up God because he's jewish) wants us examining other peoples butts/chests. That is perverted. And yes I can honestly say I have never examined another womans size and I have never examined a mans butt or junk. Never. So your little saying that "everyone examines other people" is a blatant lie. And yes it was perverted for him to be examining his sons junk for size. It doesn't matter a mans size. A mans junk does not make him a better/worse person. And if ANYONE would judge this poor kid for his size they're mental. There was absolutely no medical reason for examining his sons size thats what makes him a perv.

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  • Crystal Annlin McClen's Avatar
    Posted by Crystal Annlin McClen Wed Sep 23, 2009 1:32am PDT

    he wasnt checking out his sons size in a sexual manner, and yeah i check out checks but guess what i KNOW you have too because again its human nature to check out other people, and its also human nature to deny such a thing, especially if your also checking out people of your gender for comparison.

    also your words "it's okay to have preferences but I don't believe for one minute that God (and I bring up God because he's jewish) wants us examining other peoples butts/chests." i check out guys chests as well, if a guy checks out my rear, am i gonna pop to the "oh my god hes a pervert" no i'd take that as a COMPLIMENT because it means im worth looking at.

    in the article about the whole butt thing it says "she has to have a smokin’ hot ass." it said has, that's a preference styled word, that most people use to describe their perfect someone. it NEVER said anything about checking out a girls butt, just said that the girl hes with has to have a "smokin hot" but. a preference that he'd LIKE his girl to have... just like I'd LIKE if my man had a hairless chest, and hair on his head (preferably shoulder length).

    By the way i dont know if you realize this, but people check you out all the time you might not be aware of it (heck im rarely aware of it) but they do, half of them probably check out your butt or chest, especially if their girls because they envy what you have, i.e. a bigger butt or a bigger chest. I know i do it, because i envy what other people have everyone does, hench the reason for CHECKING OUT OTHER PEOPLE!

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  • Writers_block's Avatar
    Posted by Writers_block Wed Sep 23, 2009 9:53am PDT

    Nanner, you are an insecure idiot. I hope you die alone and unhappy because anyone as stupid as you doesn't deserve anyone special. Get a clue.

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  • miss my family's Avatar
    Posted by miss my family Wed Sep 23, 2009 12:08pm PDT

    So because I find it sick that this guy is checking out his sons junk for NO medical reason I should die alone and unhappy?! And again I say no I a have never checked out another female for size or man. I'm not saying I've never seen another woman naked (my mom locker rooms my sisters) but I can honestly say I have NEVER compared them. And your saying that "its just human nature to do it and lie about it" doesn't fly because on the same hand I can say "it's just human nature murder a person" and does that make my theory right? Have you been in the mind of every single person on the earth to PROVE that they have all checked someone out? Because yes I may have preferences (i.e. darker skin, taller than me) I DO NOT check people out. And you can't say that I do because you aren't me. Just because you do it doesn't give you the right to say everybody on the planet does.

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