Parenting

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Breast Feeding In Public: 6 Tips for New Moms

breastfeeding in public

Hi,

I'm due any day now (!) and am planning on and really looking forward to breastfeeding my son. But I can't help but wonder how I will do it on the go. I'm not sure this is really an "organic" question but thought you might be willing to answer me about how this is all going to work?

Thanks.

-Marie from Connecticut

Marie,

Thanks for your question. As far as I am concerned, any question regarding breastfeeding is an "organic" question! What's more organic than breastfeeding?

Congrats on your plans. Intentions and plans are important when it comes to starting a breastfeeding relationship (that's lactation consultant speak - funny, no?); you can set yourself up for success. That said, breastfeeding isn't always easy. And can be far from it. It takes getting used to for you and the babe.

Which is why I commend you for already considering what it will be like to nurse in public. Some mothers really seem to be able to whip their breasts out anywhere, even in those first few learning weeks, no problem. If you find yourself becoming one of those moms, more power to you. Others figure out ways to do it more discreetly, by using all sorts of covering drape-y things like shawls you'll find in most kiddie gear stores these days (more on these in a moment), or by ducking into a public bathroom or a dressing room in a store when they need to feed on the go. Still others find it so uncomfortable to breastfeed in public that they schedule their feedings so that they always know what time to seek out privacy (once babies are a little older than newborn, this can be done if you're interested but I never bothered).

I, like you, had some concern about what life would be with my boobs hanging out all over the place before my daughter was born. I decided to see how it went once she was born before making any scheduling decisions. Some places I was more comfortable than others. But as it turned out, I quickly got very comfortable nursing anywhere, anytime. And I was amazed to notice just how many moms were also wandering around nursing all over the streets of New York! I hadn't noticed them before I was a nursing mom myself, but once you know what it looks like and what to look for, it's hilarious how many of us are at it at any given moment on any crowded street. And it's lovely and comforting to see how many women of all ages smile and nod at you knowingly when they notice. Men, too - dads, grandfathers. I never once felt anyone ever watched me nurse, though other kids are very curious and sweet.

Don't get me wrong, what I'm describing didn't involve me literally flashing my entire neighborhood. Nursing doesn't actually involve being very naked at all, and is easy to cover up, especially during cold months when you have a lot of layers on. That first summer I was breastfeeding, I certainly felt a little strange when the weather turned warmer and I had less clothing to disguise what I was up to. But I quickly got used to that, too. And it's pretty rare, once you get going, that a nipple is actually out in the open for more than a split second. Usually the kid is blocking any real view.

That said, I have heard that bigger breasted women (I'm on the smaller end of things) have more difficulty being discreet when they want to be. And there are some babies who pop on and off the breast, especially when they start to really notice the world around them and are easily distracted from nursing, potentially leaving your nipples exposed to the entire playground. No one else will really care but you - really - but if you do, here are some ways of covering up while still feeding:

  1. Throw a blanket over the event! If this is too bulky, invest in some nursing specific cover-ups or shawls. Nursingcovers.com has a wide selection in all prints, shapes, and sizes, and even an organic cotton and bamboo section. Their most amusing (to me, anyway) item is something called a MoBoleez modern bonnet, which looks like a giant wide brimmed hat for the baby. The brim covers your breasts. Nursing covers aren't a specialty item. They're so ubiquitous even Wal Mart sells organic cotton ones. I actually think doing it under a giant shawl or baby hat draws even more attention to what you're doing than just doing it out in the open. But that's me.

  2. Retrofit some shirts or invest in nursing specific tops that allow enough entry for you to snake a hand in to open your nursing bra or tank and then offer a breast to a babe.

  3. Have a friend who has nursed show you how to do it in a sling or baby carrier - built in coverage, and very convenient on the go.

  4. Map out where in your neighborhood has clean, large public bathrooms with changing tables and enough room to nurse comfortably. If you're headed out for the day and think of it beforehand, check out where you might be able to nurse and change where you're headed. Department stores and baby gear stores are always a safe bet.

  5. Post a message on your local parenting message board asking where other moms go to breastfeed. Knowing other parents are comfortable nursing in specific stores or restaurants will make you feel more comfortable doing it yourself.

  6. Do it with friends! There is safety in numbers. Meet up with other breastfeeding moms for tea or lunch and you can all do it at the same time.

Meanwhile, as you're setting up your diaper bag, don't forget to tuck organic nipple cream, organic cotton (or wool) reusable nursing pads, and a large reusable water bottle into your diaper bag (breastfeeding is thirst-making work!). In the early months, these are as crucial as extra diapers and wipes.

Enjoy! It's a lovely, lovely experience.


posted by Alexandra


Related links from the Daily Green:

* Most Recent Toxic Toy Recalls
* The Dirty Dozen: 12 Toxic Foods to Eat Organic
* Take the Quiz: How Green Do You Want to Be?
* DIY Organic Baby Food
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From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 19
  • mother1's Avatar
    Posted by mother1 Mon Oct 26, 2009 7:43pm PDT

    It is a lovely experience, but a private one, too. Please cover up and be discreet.

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  • Karen S's Avatar
    Posted by Karen S Mon Oct 26, 2009 8:08pm PDT

    It's a way to feed a child. I don't think it should need discretion -- that implies that it's something that someone needs to be ashamed of -- but anything that makes a woman happy to nurse her child, I'm for.

    My favorite way to make regular shirts a bit better for nursing is to get some tanks, cut out the nipple area, and layer them under regular tops. For me, I am never self-conscious about anyone seeing my breasts but I am self-conscious about my blindingly white and stretch marked belly!

    Report Abuse
  • katie's Avatar
    Posted by katie Tue Oct 27, 2009 6:41am PDT

    I think breast-feeding is something between and mother and child (and the child's father, if he choses to be part of it), and should not be done in any oublic place. Just pump it and put it in a bottle.

    Nursing in your care or in a bathroom stall is one thing, but I'd leave a restaurant if I saw a woman breast-feed there.

    Report Abuse
  • Catherine H's Avatar
    Posted by Catherine H Tue Oct 27, 2009 7:32am PDT

    I don't understand you katie. would you leave if they pulled out a bottle. it is a more natural way then a bottle to nurse a baby. I don't understand why people take offense. just quit looking. why are you so nosy that you feel the need to watch. if you wern't looking it wouldn't be a big deal it is not like the mom is sitting right in front of you saying look at me they are usuaually doing it pretty discretly.

    So quit taking offense and see it as a beautiful act of nature.

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  • JessicaB's Avatar
    Posted by JessicaB Tue Oct 27, 2009 7:39am PDT

    Breast feeding in public is totally fine and should be 100% accepted by all. But that being said, I think women should at least try for a bit of modesty, and throw a little blanket or cover over themselves...lets not forget that while it is beautiful and natural and you are providing the best food for your baby, breasts are still considered private body parts. While you may be fine with having them out in the open, many others are uncomfortable with that, not because your are feeding a baby, but simply because they are uncomfortable seeing your privates. So while all of us moms are hoping for acceptance and respect while feeding our babies in public, lets remember to respect those around us as well.

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  • Maggie's Avatar
    Posted by Maggie Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:12am PDT

    Well said, Jessica!

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  • Karla's Avatar
    Posted by Karla Tue Oct 27, 2009 8:27am PDT

    I dont understand how we are so confortable with seeing a woman almost naked on tv, on magazines, etc. but we get all crazy when a mother decides to nurse her baby! so, let me get this right, it is ok to show your breast sexually but God forbid you nurse on a restaurant??? I am a nursing mother and of course, I will use a blanket to cover up while I am feeding my baby. It is not like a want everybody to see. However, I do take offense when somebody says that they would leave the room just because I am nursing! this makes no sense at all! All women should be respected...the ones who bottle feed their kids and those who nurse! And newsflash: both ways can be done in public according to the law!

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  • Alexi_Smith's Avatar
    Posted by Alexi_Smith Tue Oct 27, 2009 9:11am PDT

    Its saddening to see how many people think that mothers should do something different to make THEM more comfortable in a public place. for those that dont know some breastfed babies CANt or WONT take a bottle so 'pumping it and putting it in a bottle' isnt always an option and are these people going to pay for the equiptment? you shouldnt use an artificial nipple for the first little while oto avoid confusion.... are you going to tell me that to save your feelings i cant go out? the law protects my right to nurse my baby with or without a cover so if you feel you need to leave a restaurant im nursing in then leave. we're very glad not to have you staring and you're the only one who'll notice you left as the restaurant is obliged to allow me to nurse.

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  • katie's Avatar
    Posted by katie Tue Oct 27, 2009 11:22am PDT

    There are MANY things that are also natural, which I don't want to be seen done in a public place. Yes, while I will agree that seeing somone have a bowel movement is indeed different than seeing someone breast feed, breast feeding in public is still something I'd rather not see. And it's not as if I would STARE, but things like that can be a little hard to ignore, and I don't want to catch a glimpse of side-boob while I'm having dinner or shopping.

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  • heartland canuck's Avatar
    Posted by heartland canuck Tue Oct 27, 2009 1:12pm PDT

    WHAT???? I don't eat my lunch in a public restroom, so why should i feed my baby there? Some stores and malls have nursing rooms, but to suggest that someone use the toilet area to be discreet? YUCK! Defecation and dining do not belong together!

    Report Abuse
Comments 1-10 of 19

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