Can a mom love an ugly baby?

From the Community…

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  Posted by realitygirl13 Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:47am PDT

  Ok I wouldn't go so far as to say "ugly" babies, but come on, don't act like you have never seen a baby that made you kind of take a step back and say something to yourself along the lines of "oh, wow, that baby is not cute". However, when it's your baby they are always beautiful, and as long as a mother finds her child to be beautiful it will receive the love and nourishment it needs. Besides, most "ugly" babies grow out of it.

  So in response to the question at hand, I think mothers will always love their babies regardless of how "cute" or "ugly" they are. As for pretty babies getting special treatment from OTHERS, absolutely, as sad as that is.

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  Posted by Rowdygirl Fri Jun 26, 2009 8:55am PDT

  I read about this study this week in the paper. I was looking for an explanation of why they would EVEN do a study like this, but there was one. They said that the results raised more questions than answers.

  There was no point that I could see other than to reinforce the idea that so called "beautiful" babies are more desirable than ordinary, or less than perfect babies.

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  Posted by JoKTM Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:35pm PDT

  Your baby will always be beautiful to you and thats what counts

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  Posted by opiniononly Fri Jun 26, 2009 1:56pm PDT

  Rowdygirl: the study gets done because someone was saavy enough to convince a funding source that this is legitmate and valuable research that will change the face of therapeutice/mental/physical health delivery, practice or process...and since the research presented more ? than answers, someone will milk that cash cow somemore!

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  Posted by C.C. Fri Jun 26, 2009 4:32pm PDT

  IMO. I think that the women wanted to remove the image faster because women are generally heart broken to have to look at the images! They weren't looking at THEIR baby! This is where the study is faulty! Would women want to watch video of really cute babies being beaten or burned? Of course not. Looking at pictures of babies with these types of birth defects would rip a hole in my heart, as I'm sure it would for most women. Why? Historically, we know what society has in store for these people, no matter how much we love our beautiful little bundle of joy, they will be shunned by a large part of society. Plastic surgery in westernized countries helps quite a bit, but the scars can still have a life altering legacy. In non-westernized countries, well, quite frankly, I don't like to think about it, and therefore, probably wouldn't want to look at it for very long! Especially when it's not YOUR baby! I think most women would agree that moms learn to love all sorts of physical problems pretty quickly when it's your kid! I'm shocked that the people running the study didn't find ways to factor that in. IMO, the entire study is useless. They wanted to find out if women could love babies with these problems, they should have researched the rate at which they are abandoned and compared it to rates for "normal" children. Makes much more sense.

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  Posted by ritha Sat Jun 27, 2009 9:33am PDT

  baby is a gift of God. how can one say their baby is ugly. if the heart of the parents are beautiful, then the baby is also beautiful, for the baby came into this world throught the love and bond of the mom and pa. beauty is skin deep , love transcends all.... my baby is my angel

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  Posted by crystal marie Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:14pm PDT

  i think a mother no matter what is going to love there baby call me mean what ever but some babys are not cute at all but maybe there will go out of it

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  Posted by crystal marie Sat Jun 27, 2009 11:16pm PDT

  i ment grow

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  Posted by Julia Sun Jun 28, 2009 12:15am PDT

  This study sounds strange on the surface and if paid for with tax dollars is a waste of money but is not so cut and dry as it sounds. having worked as a nurse in labor and delivery as well as the Newborn ICU I have seen parents bond immediately with "ugly" babies and I've seen others struggle to bond or choose to remain distant from these babies. I believe most parents who have difficulty accepting their babies are dealing with fear of health issues, or lost expectations.

  when a newborn is ill or has a congenital defect, fear of loss can be so overwhelming that a parent builds a wall to protect them from the pain of what may happen to their child. We all have a 'dream' baby in our mind during pregnancy. It can be difficult to let go of that baby for some new parents, but is necessary to allow bonding with their actual child. This doesn't make them cruel or indicate a lack of love, it's simply an adjustment that most parents make at their own pace. It may be impolitic to say but some babies have a bumpy ride during development and need a few days to adjust to their new world and it can be show! So if you encounter this situation in your own life or the life of a loved, one cut a little slack, parenting is a whole new way of life and nobody is perfect. your support may be just what a new mom or dad needs to see the physical beauty in their child, along with it's inner beauty. Because all babies ARE beautiful.

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  Posted by Fabian Sun Jun 28, 2009 7:57am PDT

  I think pretty babies get better treatment ….. I know is harsh but it’s true…..

  And most of the people that get special treatment get sooo full of it and later in life they can because f--- up’s ….

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