I've been known to chase tornadoes. Yes, I know it's an inane way to spend your extra time and YES, I do realize that a responsible mother with 2 kiddos depending on her doesn't fling herself into an F4, but I've always found it infinitely fascinating to watch - from a distance mind you.
Last May, in line to buy a new toaster at Wal-Mart, tornado sirens sounded. I know being trapped in Wally World might sound like a great excuse to shop (they weren't letting anyone leave or wander off for obvious reasons - most people killed were outside in vehicles when they hit), but we were actually all herded to a back wall full of shoes, where of course our cells didn't work because we were in a metal building, so we could call no one.
As I tried to keep my daughter calm, it occurred to me that had AJ been with us that day, at that particular time, things would be very different...
First of all, just TRY and keep a child with autism in a restricted, yet open space, and see just how long that lasts. It doesn't. It would be an even more impossible task if it happened in Wal-Mart because AJ LOVES Wal-Mart. One peep at the 20 or so drawings of the retailer lining his bedroom walls could attest to that.
AJ also hates crowds and with everyone congregated in one section of the store - none of which he knew except the two of us - there would be so much shirt biting and otherwise anxious behavior taking place that he'd give everyone a completely different reason to be distracted.
AJ has to pee like 50 times a day, especially when he's excited or upset. I swear he has a bladder the size of a thumbtack. So, bathroom breaks would be frequent and unavoidable. You can never tell when he's faking it to explore one area or get out of another or if he really, truly has to go RIGHT NOW or else. He doesn't 'get' the concept of time enough to know true urgency in a situation like that unless he's looking at a calendar.
I have often laughed at how quickly our family would be found were we, say, hiding in a basement from aliens (War of the Worlds) or running from killers (insert horror film here) or just simply supposed to stay put in the midst of impending doom (like, oh I dunno, in a storm cellar the size of a small closet during a tornado).
AJ doesn't have a concept of life or death and he definitely struggles greatly with the whole cause and effect thing; unless, of course, it's "clean your room or no park today." That he gets.
But telling AJ to calm down generally just makes him rowdier. There are things we can do to get him to soothe him, but as soon as someone comes by yelling or screaming or generally acting out in any way, AJ would be upset all over again.
You know how frustrated you get when sitting in rush hour traffic? You may curse under your breath (or over it lol), bang the steering wheel, honk your horn or otherwise get that frustration out. AJ relaxes in his stressful moments by biting his shirt, contorting his body until it looks like he's dancing (sort of) and, my favorite, begins spewing out his favorite places like machine gun fire: "Go to Wal-Mart! Go to Phillips 66! 'I love you, you love me, we're a happy family..." and so on.
If we were hiding from anything, we'd be eaten in like 2 seconds.
Tornadoes are mysterious and puzzling and that does make them enticing to storm chasers and the general public who would at least like to know how to escape one should they have to.
It would be so simple to think that we were the smart ones for knowing what to do and doing it, but all I can think is that it could have just as easily been us left out in the open desperately seeking shelter from the Grim Reaper.
I'm a bit more humble in the face of Tornado Alley now. As riveted as I am by tornadoes and hurricanes, I realize that chasing them seems like a great time until someone gets hurt and storm chasers do get hurt all the time. Who would have hugged that wall with Alexa? Or made sure AJ was safe and sound before we even left the house?
Who would have talked those two elderly ladies in the restroom into believing that it was not their time to go?
I like life. It's nice to be healthy and alive with the people I love. I am not going to risk throwing that away for a momentary adrenaline rush. The whole idea just seems so frivolous now.
Am I afraid to do other risky things? Heck no. Life is not worth living unless you can spice it up from time to time, but I do have responsibilities to my children and the people I love to stay safe and stay alive.
It would be selfish of me to risk my life trying to entertain myself. In a completely unrelated matter, do you know anyone looking to buy a slightly used parachute?
