Parenting

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Church and Children : Can be a dangerous combination

When my daughter was 6, she decided that she wanted to be baptized at our church. My hubby and I was so proud, and we made sure to tell all of the family to be there on that Sunday. We stood next to the pastor, smiling with our camera waiting. When they brought her out with her little white robe on she looked just like an angel to me. My hubby stood there with his shirt about to burst, because his heart was filled with pride and joy. They handed our pastor the microphone, and he began to pray. After the prayer he asked my daughter was she ready to be baptized. She spoke loudly into the microphone and said yes. By now, tears formed in my eyes I had raised her right. Oh the pride I felt, and nothing in the world could take that feeling away from me. Pride goes before the fall.

The usher's began to move the cover off of the pool, as they did my daughter spotted a waterbug in the pool, My daughter said into the microphone, "there's a roach in the water. Well some of that pride feeling began to slip away. One of the ushers got a cup and scooped the bug out. The pastor ask my daughter was she ready to be baptized now. I asked my hubby should we postpone this until the next Sunday. My husband is one of those that I can get to go to church with me only on Easter and Christmas. So him having to be there another Sunday, just wasn't going to happen. He said she will be fine, kids usually swim in pools with all kind of stuff in them. So the pastor put the mic close to her so that the church could hear her response. My daughter then said no, "there was a roach in the water". So the pastor bends down and asked her, you do want to go to Heaven? Kamilah looks at him, and then the water again. She answers him speaking right into the microphone while shaking her head and says "no, I'll just go to heck". Only she didn't say heck. The church members laughed, while I stood there wishing the ground would swallow me.

Later that night of course I called my mom in Missouri, to tell her about that day events. People I suffer with chlidhood dementia, what was done in the past I prefer it stays there. Mom see it different, she has taken notes and has index cards that go into details of some of my childhood adventures. Like the time I had a solo with the youth group at church. I was suppose to sing,

I stepped in the water, and the water was cold.
It chilled my body, but not my soul
Jordan's river is deep and wide.
But I got a home on the other side

But this is what I sang, just to see if anyone was really paying attention.

I stepped in the water, and the water was cold.
It chilled my booty, but not my soul.
Jordan's river is deep and wide
But I swam over to the other side.

Then mom made sure to say, and you where a lot older than Milah. Then she went on and talked about the time I said grace at bible school.

Jesus wept
Whlie Peter crept
Into the place
Where the women slept

So I am ending on this note, yes I will continue to take my childen to church with me. For this is something that I think will be good for them in the long run. However, I sweat bullets whenever  they have to do something in a church program.

It takes a village to raise a child

But the church elders will nearly kill that same child if he/she acts up in church.

Syndication:

From the Community…

Comments 1-10 of 117
  • kim r's Avatar
    Posted by kim r Tue Feb 24, 2009 11:31pm PST

    Hello everybody.

    Today is going to be one of those days, so I will not be able to get to a computer until 2pm.

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  • craftyladyinor's Avatar
    Posted by craftyladyinor Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:23am PST

    Bless your heart, I could not help but smile as i read and by the time i got to the end tears were running down my face. Don't you know the preacher will never forget that story to tell when he gives revival at another church. Indeed Kim, this is a precious story.

    I am new to Shine, stop by and say howdy sometime. My first husband was army, and then we were navy, then we were divorced. I've traveled all over US and have lived in 6 states, including Pueto Rica-i know that's not a state-llol. Anyway stop by, love to hear where you've been and where you are.

    Have you sent that story to Reader's Digest? Look forward to meeting you, Sara

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  • BettyM's Avatar
    Posted by BettyM Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:59am PST

    Kim

    Aren't children precious?

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  • J Montana™'s Avatar
    Posted by J Montana™ Wed Feb 25, 2009 6:07am PST

    Kim,

    I thought your story was precious. I wish that I could

    take my son to church. The last time he went was when my

    parents were still alive. My father ended up chasing him down. He was CRAWLING underneath the pews. He finally

    caught my son a few rows up from where the normally sat in church.

    My son is Autistic. I have yet to find A special needs

    program that can handle him.

    Thanks for sharing your heart warming story, My friend.

    Cherish these memories. Get out those note cards.

    Yours Truly,

    J Montana

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  • __A_YAHOO_USER__'s Avatar
    Posted by __A_YAHOO_USER__ Wed Feb 25, 2009 6:19am PST

    kim, I honestly think you should put these stories in a book! They are precious, and you have such a great sense of humor, and a captivating way of writing. You keep my attention to the very last word. Seriously. Write a book.

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  • Habanero♥™'s Avatar
    Posted by Habanero♥™ Wed Feb 25, 2009 6:55am PST

    Funny Story Kimmie !!!!

    THEOLOGY AS EXPLAINED BY CHILDREN

    The first book of the Bible is Genesis, in which Adam & Eve were created from an apple tree.

    Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.

    Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day and a ball of fire by night.

    Samson slayed the Philistines with the axe of the Apostles.

    Unleavened bread is bread made without ingredients.

    Moses went to the top of Mt. Cyanide to get the 10 commandments.

    The 7th commandment is 'Thou shalt not admit adultery.'

    Joshua let the Hebrew in the battle of Geritol.

    David fought the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times.

    Solomon has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

    Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption.

    The people who followed Jesus were called the 13 decibels.

    The Epistles were the wives of the Apostles.

    One of the opossums was St. Matthew.

    Paul preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.

    A Godly person should have only one wife. This is called monotony.

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  • Ada Shadow~Dark pearl's Avatar
    Posted by Ada Shadow~Dark pearl Wed Feb 25, 2009 7:03am PST

    Wow. I was lucky that there is now bug in teh water when it was my time!! LOL!!! That was great!!!! Thanks for the comments. They amke me happy!!

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  • 29_and holding's Avatar
    Posted by 29_and holding Wed Feb 25, 2009 7:24am PST

    That is a great story Kim!!! I agree with Harley you should write a book.

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  • conesu's Avatar
    Posted by conesu Wed Feb 25, 2009 8:06am PST

    You have a very humorous way of telling a story. But you also have very good inspiration! Keep on telling us about your children.

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  • biscuiteater's Avatar
    Posted by biscuiteater Wed Feb 25, 2009 8:10am PST

    That is hilarious!

    Well...at least Kamilah was honest. She would go to heck so as not to be baptized in roach-y waters. Everyone has their threshold, right?

    My mom was in church one time with her cousin, and it was Christmas mass. The priest said, "let us sing 'Joy to the World'". My mom's cousin stood up on the pew and started belting out "Jerimiah was a bullfrog...". She was about 5...

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Comments 1-10 of 117

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