Crabmommy: Funny (and annoying) threats our kids make

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  Posted by JoKTM Mon Sep 22, 2008 9:06am PDT

  I don't have kids but I was a toddler teacher and the two lines I heard the most were,"Miss Jo I am going to give you away," and "I want you to leave!Go!" My response to the first one was "Who are you going to give me to?" and the second response "Fine, I will go, bye."We had a back door in my classroom that led to the playground, so I would grab my stuff head for the door and hear the child yell "No, Miss Jo I was kidding please don't go."I would have never left but each time I got a new group of students a child would say it, I would put on my act and it was never said again until I got a new group.Two year olds are different from 4yr olds though.

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  Posted by Lauren, auntie (read mom) Mon Sep 22, 2008 11:02am PDT

  I have guardianship of my nephew, and my favorite was "I'm going to go live in the road". Yeah, good luck with that. He was about 5 then, and is 8 now, so it doesn't happen as often now, as he usually is sent to his room...

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  Posted by babydylansmum Mon Sep 22, 2008 10:08pm PDT

  My son is almost 21 months and he doesn't say a whole lot yet. I am looking forward to the day he comes out with funny little things like that. NOT looking forward to it at the same time! =) I hope my little guy is as funny as Crabkid! I was very sarcastic and creative with my words as a little girl, so I'm sure he'll come out with some doosies! My mother told me that when I was around 3 I knew I would get in trouble for sticking my tongue out, so I used to keep my mouth closed and push my tongue against the inside of my cheek when I thought she wasn't looking. clever, huh?

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  Posted by mustang_girl Wed Sep 24, 2008 10:47am PDT

  My daughter was about 5. She was mad at me for not letting her do something. She came downstairs with a big paper doll she cut out and said that she made a new, paper mommy because I was mean!

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  Posted by strongluv22 Wed Sep 24, 2008 11:07am PDT

  My nephew is 2 and is very articulate. So much so that it's kinda scary because he thinks just as well as he speaks. He said something very rude to me and i told him that he should apologize. He put on the puppy dog eyes and said to me "TT (short for auntie), I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry". I fell for it. I told him that he should be sorry and I explained to him why he shouldn't say what he said. He repeated to me, " i am really, REALLY, sorry". When he walked off, he rolled his eyes at me and said, "But, I'm not sorry, I'm mad, really, really mad---at you". He also said to me--"ants in a parade, on you" when i wouldn't let him eat in my bedroom. I had only told him to eat in the dining area because i didn't need a trail of ants in my room. Now, don't get me wrong, he's a sweet child. It's crabkid that shows up when he doesn't get his way that is creepy and funny at the same time.

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  Posted by HotCrossBuns Wed Sep 24, 2008 11:36am PDT

  Oh my this is so funny. I can almost hear C-tot's words in my head. You know, being sent to the mailbox is pretty permanent. You must have really cheezed that girl off! teeehehee...I hope you're sleeping with one eye open after a threat like that.

  When kid2 was about 2, I let her jump in the shower with Kid1 in my bathroom. Upon checking on them, I discovered they were "shaving" Kid2's hair with my razor! At that time she had hair down to her rear, and they were running the razor down it's lengths. Luckily I caught them before any major permanent damage was done to hair or bodies, but not before a small animal sized ball of hair started clogging the drain. Needless to say, they were both yanked out of the shower and had a STERN talking to about HOW NAUGHTY it is to touch razors...OR CUT HAIR!!

  Fast forward 2 days: I was having major bad hair day,and decided a snip of my bangs here and there would alleviate the problem. There I was standing at my counter in my bathroom with scissors poised and ready to cut, and in walks Kid2.

  With eyes bugging and jaw dropped open, my little 2yr old child gasped and STERNLY yelled at me with her pointer finger aimed directly at me: "MOMMY!! NONNY NONNY NONNY!! We no tut hay-aw!!! NO NO NO! You div' me dose scissaws NOW!"

  Ahh, such sweetness.

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  Posted by jennifermann56 Thu Sep 25, 2008 8:23am PDT

  My 4yr old daughter told my son that she was gonna poke her finger in his eye and poke his brain. I had to go in the other room and laugh.

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  Posted by jennifermann56 Thu Sep 25, 2008 8:27am PDT

  My 4yr old daughter told my son that she was gonna poke her finger in his eye and poke his brain. I had to go in the other room and laugh.

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  Posted by bdskeen Thu Sep 25, 2008 10:14am PDT

  A friend of mine's little boy is 4 1/2 and when he is mad at them he tells them that he is going to take them off of his website. Keep in mind that he rarely plays on their computer and probably doesn't even know what a website is. Where do they come up with this stuff!

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  Posted by Caramel Cake Thu Sep 25, 2008 10:20am PDT

  My 4 year old is infamous for it! Once you make her mad, it's curtains for you! She hits me, pushes my head if we are in the car, she tells me she hates me, tells me she is going to kill me and feed me to the dogs! I once heard her say that she didn't like me, never have never will. I laugh at the things she says, because it's funny. I can't wait till she is old enough to start taking those threats and making good on them; then she will be in the hospital!

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